Wife's social media & love of exotic novels/rom

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W

wingman

Guest
#1
#1
My wife is an avid social network user. Her networks of choice are Facebook and Twitter. It is not uncommon for her to post or tweet the majority of the day. She is also an avid reader of romance/ erotica. The majority of her friends especially on Twitter are erotic/ romance authors. Some of which she also follows on FB and share words. In this sharing I find post of men. She says its girl talk which maybe it its. I also find this on Twitter. As you know the comments are sexual innuendoes. Were all adults and were not fooling anyone. Most of her friends are woman but I have seen a few men here and there.
As for my self I do not follow or interact with post in relationship to women in reference to sex. I choose not to because I think its disrespectful to my wife. She is the only woman I want to see when I close and open my eyes. Just like most couples they share a few social friends. I am uncomfortable when she post, repost or share pictures of so called book boyfriends. If if they are in a book I find it an excuse to post a man in is underwear. I wonder what her our friends think of me and her when they see this. I don't ever see anyone else wife or woman posting such things. She tells me that her reading material doesn't define her character. As we all know of the 50 Shades of Grey phenomenon. I found her FB a picture of her self with her ring off lying in bed from chest up. No breast or or anything but her shirt was off. She says it was dumb and she will never do it again. Do I believe her I don't know.

CHRISTIAN LADIES - Is this ok? Am I being insecure? Now Im not a glamour model but I am a well descent man shy of a 6 pack. Im educated, I tell her I love her everyday, I buy flowers, I speak kindly, I might add I'm not that bad when it comes to.... Is this right? how should I feel. Be honest.

Thanks
 
santuzza

santuzza

Senior Member
#2
Feb 12, 2013
1,609
38
48
#2
No, provided everything you say here is true, what she is doing is not right. IMHO she is being unfaithful to you. No married woman should post immodest photos of herself on FB. And that is just the tip of the iceberg...

I suggest you two going into marriage counseling with your pastor or a Christian counselor ASAP.
 
L

ladylynn

Guest
#3
#3
I agree with santuzza. asap. Information on line from a good marriage Bible teacher -Jimmy Evans who has quite a few messages on youtube about marriage from his church and marriage seminars. Subjects about how husbands and wives should always have access to one anothers FB and email accts. very important issue. Will pray for you both.
 
M

mcubed

Senior Member
#4
Dec 20, 2013
1,449
218
63
#4
No, you’re being insecure. If it was me and the roles were reversed, (I’m a girl) I would know he’s not the one… dump him. Being married is different. But thank G-d we serve a G-d that not only changes things but His Holy Spirit convicts me of my sin all the time and His great mercy and love changes me!!!! And He does the same with everyone!!! I absolutely credit the changes I have mad and how much I have grown in the Lord because of the people I know that pray for me. There is power in prayer!!!!

 
Toska

Toska

Senior Member
#5
Nov 16, 2013
1,857
22
38
#5
I can only say that if the roles were reversed and my husband was doing the things you mentioned, I would not be happy about it at all. Just the photo on facebook would be too much for me. I don't consider myself a jealous person but, I would not like stuff like that about my husband being out there for all the world to see.

You sound like a very good husband.....educated, caring, and loving. I will be praying for you. I do agree about counseling, there may be some underlying issues that you are not aware of that could come to light in counseling.

God Bless.
 
mystdancer50

mystdancer50

Senior Member
#6
Feb 26, 2012
2,522
50
48
#6
As a single Christian woman, I do not post provocative or suggestive photos on my Facebook, which, to the worlds' (and sadly, even some Christians') standards, would be considered okay. For a wife to do so is just plain wrong. I also abstain from any form of erotic or romantic fiction. It has gotten so bad that even a great many books of the genre I really enjoy (fantasy) have crossed the line, making it difficult to find good literature.

I agree with those above about counseling. And quickly. Don't put it off. She is playing a dangerous game and the cost could very well be your marriage and even her salvation.
 
J

J-Kay-2

Guest
#7
#7
I have a relative who is a knock out gorgeous woman. Wife, mother of 3.
She went through a phase ( I hope ) on Facebook and was more immodest
than any mother should be. She is to be a role model for her daughter. Her
husband said nothing about her provocative dress. I won't say any more
but this I have noticed it appears she is toned down. Maybe it was just a
phase she had to get out of her system? Maybe it was prayer that helped
her see how in appropriate it was ?

I pray your wife will be open to the fact it is possible she has a spirit of
lust that needs to be confessed and dealt with. If it is not cut off now it
will only grow. Like yeast causes bread to rise, lust has same effect.
Praying this will soon be settled for you. In Jesus Name I pray ~ J~K~2
 
S

SparkleEyes

Senior Member
#8
Mar 23, 2013
771
21
18
#8
Do you think she'd do those things if she saw Jesus in the room with her? Well, He is in the room with her. If she is right with God, she would be embarrassed and or uncomfortable with the knowledge that Jesus was watching her posting those things and reading erotic books. If she is not, then.............. :cool:
 
RedTent

RedTent

Banned
#9
Oct 31, 2011
8,200
182
0
#9
In the Old Testament, God addresses this with dietary laws. God gave them to Hebrews with two purposes, one was to use the spiritual meaning of only eating clean things, and by eating it is a metaphor for taking into our minds. It was also to keep apart from idol worshipers, not eat and socialize with them. Paul said that he did not want to teach the gentiles about their diet, and scripture says that what goes in the stomach only leaves. But what we express and what we put in our minds does not leave, and the spiritual meaning of the kosher laws are to be kept. Paul says it isn't important to not eat pork, but that does not cancel the importance of the spiritual law.

Your wife is immersing herself in what is unclean, and that is serious.
 
C

CCmarie05

Guest
#10
#10
I used to be an avid reader of what my grandmother would refer to as smut books....i even read 50 shades....now that i have made a comittment to God i have had no desire to read any of those books again. I'm not married, but i would agree that you have reason for your concern and that you should talk with your pastor about it. Hopefully your wife will realize that she isn't living a godly life style posting things like that.
As for facebook and twitter....i deleted my accounts. Just didn't care for the things most people posted that i was "friends" with. I hope things work out for you and your wife. I'll keep you in my prayers.....
 
J

J-Kay-2

Guest
#11
#11
In midst of my deep walk with the Lord, ( mid life ) I changed.
Note: "I" changed. I always was a neat attractive person, very
modest in my many years of serving Christ. Then...it happened.
I decided I needed a job to bring in extra income. Note: "I" .....
I became a beauty consultant. My focus was to serve the Lord
and be a witness for Him in my 'bookings' while I was able to
get to meet new ladies. I did okay with that part, but ..............
gradually, the world began to enter and Jesus was put into a
small part of my heart. "Move over Jesus, I can do this myself."
Before I new it, I rented a movie "R" rated. Never had I even watched
anything that would offend Christ from the day He delivered me of
sins. R led to soft porn, all this with my husband. I hated myself,
but I had let in a spirit that was not supposed to be here. After 8
years, I can say, Thank You Jesus, He never took His hand off me.
I read books, but I had to stay away from the xxx books because I
believe that would have been my demise. I read Danielle Steele,
which was not so bad. But, soon tired of her. I became a Patricia
Cornwell fan because I love forensic type books and she became
my favorite. But, as time went by .... man not only did she become
worse in her 'horror' type murders, but her language was more than
I could stand. So, there went Kay Scarpetta. I could not read any
more books that were not about Christ or at least things that I
would not be ashamed for Christ to know I was reading.

I repented of all my 8 years of walking my way, and invited Christ
to come back into my heart and sit on His throne. I started reading
books about the Amish. Until I discovered some awesome Christian
Authors. It is something I like to do before I go to sleep. I have
always been an avid reader. I discovered Karen Kingsbury. She
does write about todays life. I really love Biblical Novels. I have
learned a lot by reading what a certain Biblical character could
have been like.

As RedTent said...... we become what we read or watch. I pray
for those who have found themselves in a situation I was in, and
know Christ is always waiting to take us back. If one has not
accepted Him but feels the wooing of the Holy Spirit, just call the
name of Jesus Christ, tell Him how sorry you are and ask for Him
to forgive you and let Him change you. Nothing like a clean feeling.
Getting ready to walk as a Christian with a clean conscience. ~J~K~2
 
S

SparkleEyes

Senior Member
#12
Mar 23, 2013
771
21
18
#12
J-Kay-2 said:
In midst of my deep walk with the Lord, ( mid life ) I changed.
Note: "I" changed. I always was a neat attractive person, very
modest in my many years of serving Christ. Then...it happened.
I decided I needed a job to bring in extra income. Note: "I" .....
I became a beauty consultant. My focus was to serve the Lord
and be a witness for Him in my 'bookings' while I was able to
get to meet new ladies. I did okay with that part, but ..............
gradually, the world began to enter and Jesus was put into a
small part of my heart. "Move over Jesus, I can do this myself."
Before I new it, I rented a movie "R" rated. Never had I even watched
anything that would offend Christ from the day He delivered me of
sins. R led to soft porn, all this with my husband. I hated myself,
but I had let in a spirit that was not supposed to be here. After 8
years, I can say, Thank You Jesus, He never took His hand off me.
I read books, but I had to stay away from the xxx books because I
believe that would have been my demise. I read Danielle Steele,
which was not so bad. But, soon tired of her. I became a Patricia
Cornwell fan because I love forensic type books and she became
my favorite. But, as time went by .... man not only did she become
worse in her 'horror' type murders, but her language was more than
I could stand. So, there went Kay Scarpetta. I could not read any
more books that were not about Christ or at least things that I
would not be ashamed for Christ to know I was reading.

I repented of all my 8 years of walking my way, and invited Christ
to come back into my heart and sit on His throne. I started reading
books about the Amish. Until I discovered some awesome Christian
Authors. It is something I like to do before I go to sleep. I have
always been an avid reader. I discovered Karen Kingsbury. She
does write about todays life. I really love Biblical Novels. I have
learned a lot by reading what a certain Biblical character could
have been like.

As RedTent said...... we become what we read or watch. I pray
for those who have found themselves in a situation I was in, and
know Christ is always waiting to take us back. If one has not
accepted Him but feels the wooing of the Holy Spirit, just call the
name of Jesus Christ, tell Him how sorry you are and ask for Him
to forgive you and let Him change you. Nothing like a clean feeling.
Getting ready to walk as a Christian with a clean conscience. ~J~K~2
Click to expand...
It sounds as though you attribute your falling away from God to your 8 year stint as a beauty consultant, but I wouldn't want others to make the jump from working outside the home for a paycheck to an automatic walk down the wrong path. Work is a Godly endeavor for both men and women. The decision to work, the kind of job and whom to work for needs to be according to God's will of course.

Additionally, if your husband participated in the unGodly activities, he was part of the problem too. :cool:
 
breno785au

breno785au

Senior Member
#13
Jul 23, 2013
6,002
764
113
39
Australia
#13
As I say with everyone else, sit down and talk to your wife about it, in love. Your not wrong in what you are thinking, be confident in that.
 
J

J-Kay-2

Guest
#14
#14
SparkleEyes said:
It sounds as though you attribute your falling away from God to your 8 year stint as a beauty consultant, but I wouldn't want others to make the jump from working outside the home for a paycheck to an automatic walk down the wrong path. Work is a Godly endeavor for both men and women. The decision to work, the kind of job and whom to work for needs to be according to God's will of course.

Additionally, if your husband participated in the unGodly activities, he was part of the problem too. :cool:
Click to expand...

It was not the Beauty Consultant job that changed me. I changed me.
I became more focused on "looks" outwardly and less of "Inward."
My Lord what do you want me to do ? Spell it out ? I became worldly,
Okay ? I still loved the Lord, I prayed, but I was NOT living a Christ
like life. Do not blame my husband. I was the one who had the issue
of having been delivered from that sin. He went along with me. I drug
him with me through the slime and filth. I take full responsibility for
my sins. We are living a Christian life ... this was about 24 years ago.
I hate myself that I turned away from Christ. I can't undo what I did.
I hope someone else who is teetering on the brink of going from Godly
to Worldly will learn, do not go the way of the World. Hold on to Jesus
as tight as you can. ~ J~ K~ 2
 
J

J-Kay-2

Guest
#15
#15
Wingman: My apologies for taking this off topic.
May the Lord help you through your time of need.
He is the only one who can breakthrough the addiction
she has. I pray she will tire of this and realize she has
a loving husband. God bless you ~

James 5:11
Behold, we count them happy which endure. All of
you have heard of the patience of Job, and have
seen the end of the Lord; that the Lord is very
pitiful, and of tender mercy.
 
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