**DISCLAIMER #1.) Long post alert, but please read it entirely!! Thank you!!
**DISCLAIMER #2.) Contains some personal, graphic information but I would like to keep it in my testimony so that the full impact and symptoms of uterine cancer are fully understood. If you cannot handle TMI, then please dont read this testimony!! I am sorry if it makes you uncomfortable, but it is needed for medical and testimonial purposes.
I am blue_ladybug. Most of you know me, others may not. First of all, I want to give credit to my great friend tashmeyer for encouraging me to pull my story from the confines of christian ladies forum, into Miscellaneous so that my story can be shared with all of you. I hope you find strength and courage in my story.
It was 2010, and I was 39. I had an appointment with my gynecologist, and I was telling him that I had been having very bad periods for quite some time. Heavy bleeding, alot of HUGE clots, and so on. It was so bad that I couldnt leave my house during my periods, and it interfered with personal relationships and daily activities. I questioned him about the possibility of maybe having an hysterectomy done to alleviate the symptoms. He informed me that as a general rule, they only do that IF the patient has cancer. I then asked him to do a pap smear on me, and he agreed.
About two weeks later, he did a combination pap smear and D&C. A D&C is a fancy name for scraping out the uterus of blood clots and such. It was a same-day surgery, meaning that I got to go home a few hours later. I waited for him to contact me with the results of the pap smear. Two weeks later, I got "the call." The dreaded call, in which he proceeded to tell me, on the phone instead of in his office like he SHOULD have, that "we found cancerous cells and need to operate as soon as possible." That information did'nt slap me in the face until I got off the phone with him. I went outside and waited for my mom, because we were going shopping. In the few minutes that I waited, a multitude of thoughts ran through my head: "Why ME? Why is it me, and not my sister who has smoked like a chimney for 30-something years!!" Why are you allowing me to get cancer, God? After all I've suffered through already with my periods, you dump this on me too?!!"
That was my mindset that day. Anyway, my mom came and we left. She asked me how I was and I started bawling and said, "the doctor just called and I have cancer"!! She kept looking at me and saying, "are you kidding?" I think she was in shock too. I asked her not to tell my dad, or sisters and brother. I wanted to do that myself. I dried my eyes because I was grocery shopping and didnt want everyone staring at me bawling. LOL. My dad took me back home and helped me bring my groceries in. I then told him I had cancer, and I can still remember the look on his face to this day. He told me it would be okay, they would do the surgery, and I would be fine. His words echoed my moms words almost verbatim. She told me the same thing. My dad then pointed to a picture of a person I have on my fridge door, and said, "do you believe in this man?" The picture, as you probably have guessed, was of Jesus, and I said, "of course I believe in Jesus." My dad then said, "then trust in him right now." I tried to, I really did, but it was hard because my head was full of what ifs?. What if its more than they saw? What if they dont get it all? I'm not one to trust people easily, but I have always tried to trust God. He alone is the great healer. Modern doctors and medicine are limited, but God is not.
Anyway, two weeks after I got the results, I had the surgery. It's kind of odd how everything happened exactly two weeks apart. Two is now my lucky number. LOL. The day of the surgery, the surgeon called me and told me to get to the hospital earlier than planned, because he had a surgery cancellation and was able to take me right there and then. I live in Vermont, the surgery was at Dartmouth-Hitchcock in New Hampshire, so it took about an hour to get there. My dad had a lead foot all the way down there!! LOL.
They took me right in and hustled me into surgery. I was glad they took me earlier because that morning, out of extreme stress, I had started my period AGAIN!! It had ended only two weeks earlier. I thought they wouldnt be able to do the surgery now because of it, but they did anyway. The doctors, who are both gynecologists AND married to each other, disputed whether I would be there only overnight or for a couple of days. Well, I HATE hospitals, so that entire night, I took my IV and walked up and down the hallways all night!! There was no way I was gonna give them an excuse to keep me for two days!!
That ordeal was almost exactly four years ago. It will be four years on July 7th. I made it through my ordeal with cancer. I did not have to do chemo or radiation, nor would I have done them. It did not make sense to me why I should make myself SICKER to make myself BETTER. Doctors did not heal me. Medicine did not heal me. GOD healed me!! He gave me cancer for a reason, and I'm blessed enough to know what that reason is. I am not being prideful, or presumptuous when I say that. God gave me cancer, to alleviate the symptoms of my periods. I went through unimaginable horror with them, and every month I would say, "please Jesus help me!! I cant take this anymore"!! It took several YEARS, but God finally answered my prayers by giving me the gift of cancer. Yes, I consider my cancer to be a gift. I didnt consider it a gift at the time, of course, lol, but looking back now, I see that it was.
I know some of you are reading that statement in shock. Shock that I can consider something so horrible as a wonderful gift!! Well, then you will really be shocked to know that I am also truly GRATEFUL for getting cancer!! It's crazy, but getting cancer SAVED my life.
Please dont leave any replies saying "how dare you say something like that!! That's blasphemous!!" It is not blasphemous to ME. It is the God's honest truth. Only someone who has stood where I was in this, can truly understand those two comments of gratefulness and gifts. I'm alive today by the grace of God. Thank you God, for letting me live to share my story with these people. I hope you will be given hope and strength by reading my story. If you know someone who is going through something similar, please encourage them to read this. Sorry so long, thanks for reading this and God bless you all!!