I'm thinking of divorce because...yes, infidelity has occurred since our 2nd year of marriage. He has never been faithful to me, be it an actual physical affair, facebook inappropriate chats, dating sites I would find out he was a member of, down to back and forth emails from Craigslist he'd respond to for casual encounters. I would always confront and threaten to leave and then he'd confess and beg me to stay and promise not to do it again, and within months I'd find out he'd done it again. After so many years and so much hurt its so hard for the heart not to become hard. I used to be the best wife a man could be so lucky to be married to, kind, unselfish, giving, good mother, raising my children in the faith and I'm ashamed to say I've turned into a bitter woman who is afraid of so much.
Now I do not know of his fidelity status...with private cell phones ect, who knows. Now I feel like the biggest problem is his unquenchable desire to drink and socialize. I found out that when I was at work he would be at local bars from pretty much noon -3 everyday and then he couldn't resist the urge to go in the evenings as well. He would say I need to run to the store and be gone for 2-4 hours. He promised he'd stop going to bars. He still hasn't done that. It's sad when your 10 year old daughter is looking for daddy to pray with her at bed time and he's at a bar. -_-
My husband is in the oil field so he works away from home when he works, which was gone 3/4 of the time and home 1/4 of the time. When he's gone he makes comments about things the kids are doing (competitions ect) like oh I wish I was there for that and then when he is here he might miss things because he's had too much to drink or he's at a bar. My oldest daughter is 17 then 15 then 14 and finally 10. The final thing that lead me to this site is the fact that I feel as though I'm crazy, am I the one who is over reacting to situations? I am currently sick, it's not the flu or strep but the dr said its some kind of infection because I ran 101+ fever for 3 days. So day 1 I was so sick I think he was home, not sure...day 2 he had to bring one of our daughters clothes to her friends house so she could spend the night. 3 hours later he comes home reeking of cigarettes, so I know he was at the bar and he told me he was. That upset me because if he was home sick I would be right here the entire time, I wouldn't be going out drinking. Then last night he decides to boil crawfish for our kids and some how the entire neighborhood lands at our house having a good ole time while I'm stuck in my room sick. It upset me because he didn't come check on me one time last night and I know he was just a drinking away. I don't know what to do because I am not currently working. He asked me to stay home this year and I thought it might help with his drinking but he disappears around 1 o'clock at least 3 days a week and I know where he's at. All his new friends, he's made in bars, that so disturbs me. I feel like he's trying to be a teenager again. And I'm left to be the adult to make sure everything is done that needs to get done. My husband makes a great living and that's a huge blessing but I'm fearful that his drinking may jeopardize that.
If I leave I won't be able to afford to live where we live and my children would be forced to switch schools and I hate that for them....hope this gives a little more insight into my situation and open the floor for more discussion
