SJ, Some encouragement for you...Just know that first & foremost, you are Loved by your Heavenly Father, and He has only good things planned for your future. Sometimes life can get very repetitious, as in loosing your passion for life. Jesus wants to bring the "LIFE" back into your life, as He is our Everlasting life giver. Don't ever feel alone in this world, because you are Not alone. Jesus is right there beside you always. One thing I do know for sure is when we abide in Jesus & His word, & give our heart to the Lord, that's when He fills us with His Life Giving spirit & all things become new. I don't know if you have given your life to the Lord, but if not, just know Jesus is there for you & He longs to fill your life you only good things. He will re-new your life & you will find meaning & hope, peace & joy. One of my favorite quotes "I asked God for All things that I might enjoy Life, but He gave me "Life" that I might enjoy all things"....