New Member Struggling With Homosexuality

Hi everyone,
My name is Tom and I live in the Washington DC area. I'm in my 30s and have been a born-again Christian since middle school.
I'll try to keep this brief, but I would certainly appreciate anyone willing to take a moment to pray for me. I struggle with being attracted to other men. As far back as I can remember (long before I knew there was even such a thing as "gay") I can remember enjoying looking at guys.
I am convinced based on the Bible that living a gay lifestyle is not what God wants for me, but it's been a real struggle to rely on God's strength being sufficient for me.
I've never had a sexual relation with a man but that said I've been in a few situations I regret. I also struggle not with what is technically pornography, but with the temptation of looking at attractive shirtless men on the internet and when I'm out driving or walking. I then often "gratify" myself afterward.
I know God doesn't want me to do that and that He provides a monogamous way for most people to be sexually fulfilled, but some days it feels like with my lack of attraction to women there's no way out of my situation. God has been faithful though, I cannot deny that!
I've only told a couple people ever about this and as far as I know my family doesn't know (although they may suspect something's not right since they expected me to be married by now).
I'm hoping to hear any words of encouragement you may have, and I'm especially hoping to meet guys on here of different ages going through the same struggle so we can try to encourage each other (please feel free to reply or message me).
God bless you all and have a great day!

Father God i pray for Tom right now.He is your child born again in your kingdom. I pray against the plans of the enemy to lure
him away from you Lord. I pray for clarity in you Lord and renewal for his mind and heart, that his thoughts would be yours.
His heart pure and cleansed from all things. That this be turned around and he be free from this by your spirit oh Lord.
That he be delivered completely and one day minister to those going through the same thing he has.

In Jesus name.

I just want to remind you that temptation is something that you shouldnt be too worried about this, every one of us deals with temptation, and that God is letting it happen to you because He knows that you can do right and follow Him. The secular world is the biggest spreaders of misinformation in this world about dealing with this temptation, they have made it their agenda to tell those of us who struggle with that that because we are tempted, we are now sinners that God hates, when God tells us He only hates those who live in sin, and the bible tells us that we all deal with temptation, even Christ, and that it is a part of this life that we endure, and is not a sin.

Dont fall into fear that you are being tempted into this desire, we have already done the sin, but if we repent and follow Christ we have already been saved. If you are struggling with the act of self "gratification", doing something like fasting often helps with this issue. Also, I have found a tactic that helps with this one, and some people in the world would call it "offensive", but I like to look at it for what it is, a dirty act, gross and perverted, actually considering what it means for two people of the same gender to do this act. Its a bit vulgar yeah, but when I actually think about it as what it is, it actually does make the whole thing seem awful and helps me keep in mind why God hates it, and helps me understand Him better and desire Him more over these earthly and wicked things.

With Christ it is 100% possible to get away from any temptation, to the point where it will be brought upon you, but you will desire the Lord to the point that these things seem 100% unappealing I will pray for you :3

hello and welcome.. You may want to repost your OP in the Family forum, because that forum is more appropriate for issues like this and you will receive alot more replies also. Not many people frequent the new members forum.

In accordance with what blue_ladybug said, I will only welcome you.

May the God hide you under his wing and nurture you there.

Perhap you're not here of yourself, but the Holy Spirit guided you here.

The Lord bless you and keep you.

Welcome Tommy. A few words. I never blame myself for 'looking at other men.' All men (gay and straight) have the wandering eye, it's a sin but we can't help it, just repent and God will forgive. Acting ON those feelings (outside marriage) is whole other thing, it can and should be avoided, at all costs. Just stay away from porn, it will only fuel the desire.

Thank you all for the prayers and words of encouragement, I greatly appreciate them. God bless!

Hello Tommy2,

First of all, it is a step in the right direction in recognizing that this is not something that God wants for you. Something that you have to understand is that these desires are not natural desires and that the powers of darkness can and do impress these feeling upon people and that because they know that if they can get you to engage and remain in sexual immorality, then it keeps you separated from God. One of the things that the powers of darkness do once they have tempted a person into sin, is that afterwards they make the person feel unworthy to go to God for forgiveness. Therefore, it is a good thing that you have not engaged in sexual relations with a man and that because, it would be that much more difficult to forgive yourself and the powers of darkness will be there to increase the guilt, believe me. It's what they do.

It is not only homosexuality that they practice this with, but with heterosexual's as well and every other kind of sin. I had the same problem that you are having with women and relationships and though I was fulfilling the desires of my flesh, afterwards my spirit was grieving and that because the seed of God was in me and I therefore could not be comfortable living according to the sinful nature. The flesh wars against the Spirit and the Spirit against the flesh, because they are contrary to one another.It was tearing my apart! One day I prayed to God and said, "Either you are going to remove me from this pattern of life or it is going to destroy me." And he heard me and gave me the ability to finally get sexual immorality, whether in thought or in deed, out of my life. It was a struggle and I had to cut myself off from everything. I didn't date, because that just provided opportunity for temptation and to fail. So, I became completely celibate in order to cut it out of my life completely.

God created our sexual desires to be enjoyed between a man and a woman who are in a committed marriage. Anything outside of that is sexual immorality and therefore sin, which separates us from God when we willfully engage in it.

The question you have to ask yourself is, "do I want eternal life?" In the letters to the seven churches, after the Lord commends and rebukes each, he then gives a promise to those who "overcome." The Greek word means to get the victory over, to preserve. These words infer that we are in a fight, a battle. We are to overcome whatever is impeding our walk with Christ, whether it be lying, sexual immorality, gossip, slander, stealing, being unloving, greedy, idolatry, drugs, etc., etc. This is what Jesus meant when he said, if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off. If your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out. Not that he meant for us to literally sever a body part, but to cut out of our lives whatever is causing us to sin. In my case, I had to cut everything out that would be a temptation to cause me to engage in sexual immorality. I was determined to get it out of my life, so that I would not continue to sin against God.

I will keep you prayer regarding this issue and I hope that it is somehow strengthening and helpful to you.

Hi Tommy

Here's a little something I wrote about sexuality and God some time back, maybe there's something in it you could use. http://christianchat.com/blogs/rickyz/4636-sexuality-god.html

But honestly yours is a hard road to take. Ever since the fall, satan has been sowing the seeds of disease and perversion into the flesh. I've known good God loving people who struggle with it every day. You really have to accentuate the spiritual to subdue the flesh. But know going in that as long as you are in the flesh it's going to pester you. That's what God talks about when He talks about the patience of the saints. This is a war of attrition, with the knowledge that if we do hold out the longest, we have won.

I agree with Ahwatukee, yours is no greater a sin than a hetero guy out womanizing. I understand what he says and have fought it myself. But given the gist of the thread, maybe Ahwatukee should put a real shirt on I'm funning of course...


Pray and keep your mind on God. As your mind goes the spirit follows, as the spirit grows the flesh grows weaker.

God bless and strengthen you.

RickyZ thank you so much for the encouraging words and for referring me to the previous post you wrote. Ahwatukee thank you for your encouragement as well. There's only one part I didn't understand-what did you mean about asking myself if I want eternal life? Don't I already have that as someone who has put their trust in Christ?

The answer to that is, if we come to Christ, he expects repentance. If after we come to Christ and willfully continue to sin, then it leads to death. I was thinking along the lines of those who claim to be in Christ, but they don't think that there is anything wrong with living a same-sex life style and therefore have not intention of repenting. But as I said, in your case, you recognize this as sin and have a repentant heart towards this and want to get this out of your life. So, forgive me for the confusion. I usually deal with people who claim to be in Christ, who are living same-sex life styles and their answer is, God loves me just as I am and I don't need to change. But the fact that you are concerned about this shows that you have repentant heart and so now it is just a matter of continuing in faith and praying that God would deliver you from this.

Thank you so much for clearing that up. Because of the Holy Spirit in me, I can't imagine living the gay lifestyle without Him convicting me. However, I'd be lying if I said I didn't fall short often times when it comes to lust, even if I've never been with a man sexually. It's tough because I distinctly remember being attracted to guys when I was very young-the feelings go back very far and I've never felt attraction for women even close to what I feel for men. Appreciate your prayers as I try to either figure out how to live celibate in God's power or see if God will perform a miracle and open doors to be with a Christian woman. Thank you again so much for taking the time to write to me.

Dear Tom. I know what you feel. Much more than anyone else in this world. It is a battle. I know that. To be a brave soldier that dies holding his gun in the face of his enemy (these unwanted attractions) is the last hope. And if God have mercy you may win the battle. In both cases (wining the battle or to die fighting) you have no other choice. It is a battle. And who examines it knows exactly how hard is it.
Pray for him. And ask him to have mercy. You know. Sometimes when you pray and feel very close to God, the battle becomes stronger!!! And this gives me a hope that i am correct.. How is that!!!! I will tell you... If you pray much and there is neither positive nor negative response from God.... You may feel that he is not hearing you... But when the reply is negative (the war is much harder and the undesired feeling become more intense) you are sure that Satan is fighting because you ask God help. And God is waiting to see how long will you sustain... I feel I'm in the path... The war is severe... Especially after the age of adolescence... They say it is not easy... But we will get our goal.. These prayers and tears will not go to the air. I'm sure...

I found this video from David Jeremiah very insightful and helpful in regards to temptation, any temptation.

[video=youtube;GTrYbIWqi10]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GTrYbIWqi10[/video]

Amen sog, that's something to always consider. I've always said that you can tell how powerful one might be in the realm of heaven by how hard hell works to hold them under. Consider these scriptures:

James 4:4
Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God.

1 John 2:15
Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.

John 15:19
If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you.

John 12:25
Anyone who loves their life will lose it, while anyone who hates their life in this world will keep it for eternal life.

The more satan and his world throws at me, the more I figure I must be doing something right.

Persevere my friends, because the last thing he'll throw is himself into the abyss!

Wish I could get you in contact with my daughter who was Delivered, Set Free, last year from 40+yes of homosexuality! It's good to pray, read scripture, etc but "deliverance" is the key to being set free. You can inbox her on fb at Irma dominguez. I pray The Father prepare you to hear and take heed to what she shares.

Yomhatov, this site discourages users from giving out personal info on here. It is viewable by the entire online world and is searchable on Google. You have effectively just given the ENTIRE world your daughter's personal FB info, AND WITHOUT her permission. There are alot of weirdos and perverts on here, so I truly hope they won't target your daughter on FB. :/


Also, the OP of this thread hasn't been online since last October. Please don't pull forward zombie threads, they clog up the forums..