Trying to change

Hey all!
I, like many others on here am new.
I was raised a Christian and stepped away from it early teen years. I'm now 37. For the past many years I've been trying to change through prayer and the bible.
So many times you hear or see a statement that "all you need to do is believe and ask then you will be saved".
Am I the only one trying this and having it not work? Seems I can go deep into prayer each night read the bible (almost) daily. Listen to almost only Christiam music but still can't seem to get any closer.
I've tried a few churches. I'm pretty shy but just can't seem to find one where there is anyone forward enough to offer real help beyond 5 minutes before church.
Even more so I just can't get myself on the move to even want to go.
There's just so much and sometimes I spend the entire night stressed out of my mind and I just can't seem to get out of the hole I'm in.
I have endless questions and I have a head full of issues I know but believe me this is barely scratching the surface. I can't believe that I'm alone with these questions and fears.
I've prayed that maybe someone that has been through these things might help. Then someday when I'm stronger I could pass that on to someone else in need.
So thank you for the ears, eyes and hopefully prayers, Kevin

Hi Kevin and mostly, welcome to here first. and what you are going through, many others passes through the same situation si, you aren't alone.

Hi, welcome to CC!

You totally gotta get involved in a church. This isn't gonna save you, but it grows your christian faith. As for "All you need to do is believe and ask and you will be saved" that is completely correct. God plants a seed of belief in your heart, and you open it to Him. I would guess your problem would be, what are you expecting to be saved from? "Saved" means saved from Hell and the devil, not saved from any doubts or struggles from the world; (though you are promised to have help with those ).

I struggle mighty with feeling assurance of salvation, but if I am TRULY believing in God and trusting in him for my salvation, it is only a feeling, not fact.

As for any advice I could give you, I can only say: why don't you take that intro to God? Tell HIM your lack of motivation, tell HIM your struggles. The amazing thing? Jesus Christ was human, lived on this earth, and UNDERSTANDS those feelings! Keep in the word and prayer, and get a church family.

God bless you!

First off welcome to CC glad you have joined us.

I know I struggled for years trying to get good enough and guess what it never happened.... I was the same filthy person that sinned and felt like a hypocrite and that I was lost no matter what I did. But I kept trying....I finally got to the point that I cried out to God in prayer and said Lord I'm not good enough and I'm never going to be good enough and He said you know you are right. But Darlene that is why I sent My Son Jesus to die for your sins because when you accept Him as your Savior and repent I no longer see the wrongs you have committed but I see My Son's perfect life His blood covers you and you are saved. I said is just that simple? He said yes.

So instead of trying to clean yourself up thank God that Jesus has cleaned you up and accept the salvation that is freely given to you as a gift. Pray that the Holy Spirit comes into your life and God will do the cleanup that is needed and you will find that the overwhelming gratitude you have becomes love and God will set you free..... I hope this helps you understand and lean on God for He has saved you and set you free...

As is my custom I usually give cookies to those new here so enjoy....and again Welcome...

~

First off, welcome to the family.... First of all Kevin, your fine... Trust me... Son it ain't supposed to be easy, but you also ain't meant to do it alone.... Whether you want to believe it or not you have never been alone.. God has always been there.... Waiting... And whether it's us in here or someone out there... Dont.. Stop.... Take a step backwards... Fall down... Have your doubts......but don't stop asking questions... Don't stop searching because believe it or not just asking the question shows how far you've come.. Just asking the question shows you know something is missing....keep searching.. Keep looking... You'll get to a point where nothing in the material world sounds right, or looks right and all the different things people tell you go rushing in your head.... And then.... It just.... Stops....something inside you makes it stop... And you reach over and pick that Bible up and they ain't just words anymore.... You start reading and you hear that voice inside you repeating what your reading... And then that voice starts talking and you realize the words your reading are speaking to you too.... You have to make reading personal.... You have to make your prayers intimate... Forget formality....your heart will speak for itself......there are a lot of good people in here....they can help and give you a word when you need it......God bless

Thank you all for your answers. I can honestly say that I'm taking something from each of your replies. I know these posts take a lot of time and energy and I want you all to know how much it means to me that you answered.
It helps to know that people out there care enough to help without anything in return. I think that I am far from ready to answer any questions that people have about their faith but I hope than in the future I can become strong enough in my faith to give any proper help to others.
I have so many other questions and so much growing to do I hope that I can get to know some of you better and possibly give some back someday.
Thanks again, Kevin

Hey Kevin,

REST ASSURED - you are not alone! I'm 41 and exactly like you - anytime I took one tiny step forward the world dragged me back 10 ft. It was extremely frustrating - as in always feeling that something is wrong with you because you can't make it happen. I mean after all, you have had a certain "relationship" with God your whole life.

Looking back, I now know Jesus was with me every step and never let me fall too far. But He needed ME to make up MY mind 100% of the way. Not (my experience) 1/2 way...until I felt better... then turning right back to sinning... It's a hard road sir for men... people don't always understand sometimes but almost everything is geared towards OUR (men) failure. Satan knows if he brings us down...more than likely, our spouse/girlfriend/kids etc. will fall as well.

Stay strong Kevin. When in doubt, read! It will calm your situation I promise. Check out the Holman Christian Standard Bible. Or Bible.com ! Ask the Holy Spirit to guard you against temptation!

A

Kind of a vague discription. What is it youre specificlly trying to change? Are you trying to get closer to God? That comes from within. Be yourself. Listening to Christian music does not make you godly. Building your relationship with Jesus will.

Thank you for your response!
I feel very much how you explained. I think I'm getting somewhere and then back to my old self.
Did you have trouble going to or finding a church? Or were you ever kind of "closeted" about your faith almost afraid to tell anyone around you that you want to change. These are some of the things I just can't figure out how to get a grasp on.
If you have time i would appreciate any other tips you may have. Your earlier post was such a help!
Thanks again, Kevin

No, you are not alone in your spiritual journey although it may seem like it at times. Living the Christian life can be a struggle at times. Glad to have you join us in Christian fellowship. Welcome to CC.