Regret

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T

TemporaryCircumstances

Guest
#41
Sin (which is what you wish you would've done) also causes separation from God. None that you can't fix of course, but the separation you have now isn't something you can't fix no matter how difficult it may seem
Not to mention if you had sex before marriage you would probably wish you could still have it after marriage, so no change there you just don't have the whole "I've been loyal" part
 
R

Regret

Guest
#44
I'm only saying,
Abstinence caused regret that caused separation from god.
I would never say honestly that I believe god hears & answers my prayers.
Your saying that I should appreciate the blessings of celibacy.
I'm asking to help me realize them.
Why should I be thankful for being forced into this celibate life?
I should have had the opportunity to choose celibacy like you guys did. I would still be close to god with all of you.
 
T

TemporaryCircumstances

Guest
#45
I'm only saying,
Abstinence caused regret that caused separation from god.
I would never say honestly that I believe god hears & answers my prayers.
Your saying that I should appreciate the blessings of celibacy.
I'm asking to help me realize them.
Why should I be thankful for being forced into this celibate life?
I should have had the opportunity to choose celibacy like you guys did. I would still be close to god with all of you.
BS
you don't know what would have happened.
You weren't forced into everything. Yes, I'm am very sure that you love her, but no one forced you to be with her. That's the reality. It is NOT her fault, but you were not forced into anything.

I'm sorry, don't get mad at me but you are acting like a child. Probably because you're young in faith, it happens, but it's hard to talk to stubborn children
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,862
9,579
113
#46
I don't know your name, but I'm NOT calling you "regret". lol.. Anyhoo, we all have regrets of one type or another.. Maybe God is using your many decades of celibacy to bring you closer to Him. But you know what? You're so bitter and angry at God, and too busy blaming Him, to even be able to hear His voice.. You CHOSE to be celibate BEFORE you married wifey. So really, nothing at all has changed. Except maybe your ever-growing contempt for God. Like Natania said, sometimes God's answer to our prayers is "NO". And we need to accept that, whether we like it or not. You regret NOT having premarital sex. Well, I regret that I DID have premarital sex. Now, IF you can shove your bitterness aside for a moment, try to figure out HOW you can use your situation to bring you closer to God. :)


I'm only saying,
Abstinence caused regret that caused separation from god.
I would never say honestly that I believe god hears & answers my prayers.
Your saying that I should appreciate the blessings of celibacy.
I'm asking to help me realize them.
Why should I be thankful for being forced into this celibate life?
I should have had the opportunity to choose celibacy like you guys did. I would still be close to god with all of you.
 
J

JustWhoIAm

Guest
#49
As a young Christian I was convinced that my abstinence would be rewarded one day. I waited, and now I realizing that it's never going to happen and I live with regret.
I feel ripped off, and angry to think that my prayers went ignored.
How can I trust god again?
Listening to what god did for someone else just makes it worse, doesn't help at all.
And to tell me again that sex is overrated and just not worth it is easy for you when you have been there and experienced it for yourself.
I hate living in celibacy,
Careful not to blame God for decisions people, including you, make.
 
J

JustWhoIAm

Guest
#50
I don't know about you, personally. Myself, I think about Job and I think about how he refused to sin by cursing God. He did not understand why God would test him the way that he did, and indeed, it was not God, but Job's faith was ironclad. There were things going on that none of the human parties involved understood.
 
M

mariner845

Guest
#52
The desires of our flesh bind us to a love of this world instead of focusing on eternity and God. I believe obedience is accomplished through a combination of believing God blessed men who keep His laws, a fear of disobeying God and most importantly a love of God that makes us want to obey his laws. If this is a point of struggle in your obedience to God I would pray that He strengthen you in your burden, knowing that it is not our own strength but Gods strength given to us. Also it might be helpful to talk with your spouse about frustrations you are feeling. Ask God for guidance in all things in your life and trust that if we listen to Him, seek His face and follow Him as the focus of our life that He will not put too great a burden on us.
 

JesusLives

Senior Member
Oct 11, 2013
14,551
2,171
113
#53
So, what's the point here?
Sex is Sin, not to be a part of the Christian experience.
Only non-Christian can enjoy
Where in the world did you get that idea?
 

JesusLives

Senior Member
Oct 11, 2013
14,551
2,171
113
#54
I trusted god when I "Waited till Marrage" now I should trust him to make it through the fact that I can't trust him?
That doesn't make any sense!
Are all christians sexually frustrated?
That just couldn't be gods perfect plan, not for me anyway.
Sex is a as much as a natural part of life as birth, why is it so hated in the Christian community?
Just curious, I do want to understand.
And YES!, I do blame god! It's been my prayer since I was a teenager, that derserves an explanation.
I think in your case you have an unusual situation and the fact you married twice to women who don't want sex is a quandary for me and others to understand. So why blame God?
 

WineRose

Senior Member
Jan 3, 2017
3,631
265
83
Row A, Column 9
#55
Well, this thread got pretty hostile pretty quickly. I'm just gonna say welcome to this forum and get the heck outta here...so...

Hello! Welcome to CC! I hope you stay and enjoy your time here...

*Gets the heck out*
 

Demi777

Senior Member
Oct 13, 2014
6,877
1,949
113
Germany
#56
I dont often agree with you..mostly often how u put things..but in this case you definitely hit the nail on the head. well said

Rewarded how? I know of no great reward promised for our daily obedience to God. Perhaps that was the problem for you. Your goal was reward and not a genuine heart seeking to do what's right for God. You can't have selfish intentions behind good actions and expect that to matter to God.
Also have you considered that the people that taught this were wrong? That the blame is focused in the wrong direction?

Honestly you sound as if your intentions are all selfish. You obey hoping for reward. And when you don't get a reward you throw a childish tantrum.

I was 13 when i lost my virginity. One of the biggest mistakes of my life that, even at 41, i still regret to this day. So don't give me this whole 'you don't know how it feels'. I KNOW regret pal. I know it WELL. I have a long list of regrets because i made stupid, selfish choices. And Because of that choice at 13 i have battled ever since with sexual desire. Because i DO know what i'm missing. It's YOU that are the clueless one. And i have known many who were virgins and struggled as well. So i'm aware of both sides of the coin, so don't presume you know anything about Anyone on this site and that they don't understand. You're the one throwing a childish tantrum. So it's time to grow up, realize you aren't the only one struggling and decide what you really believe. Because if all you care about is what you can get from God then you have Never known Him to begin with. Following God isn't about reward, it's about a heart that desires to do right, whether you get a reward or you nothing or you get persecuted

There are people in this world being tortured and murdered because of their faith and you have the gall to throw a fit because God didn't buy you a puppy for not having sex. Grow up.
 

JesusLives

Senior Member
Oct 11, 2013
14,551
2,171
113
#57
22 + 13 years of marriage.
My first marriage was a product of poor communication. We lived separate lives, but get along fine now that we are both remarried.
My current wife is not the issue here. As I said repeatedly, she doesn't like sex and I don't force her.
I'm not unhappy with her at all.
Again, my regret is abstinence before marriage.
I wish I could do it over again.
My abstinence caused regret and separated me from god!
Let me get this straight..... Are you saying you regret not sinning before marriage by having sex out of marriage? That's a little strange I would think you would thank God that you were able to abstain and keep yourself pure until you got married.

If you are upset because you feel that you don't have experience then now that you are married why haven't you tried to woo your wife and learn how to be a pleasure to each other and find out what you both like it can simply start with a kiss. Holding hands and being kind to each other... and lucky you two you are married and if a spark kindles you can go further with no guilt...
 

Demi777

Senior Member
Oct 13, 2014
6,877
1,949
113
Germany
#58
No one is forcing you to not have sex :p or is God and us behind you making sure u wear a chastity belt?
Nor is sex a sin. Sex is a blessing lol God made it for us to enjoy in marriage. Are you catholic?
 

JesusLives

Senior Member
Oct 11, 2013
14,551
2,171
113
#59
I think one of the problems is that some Christians don't know what to do with themselves once they get married as they have kept themselves pure until marriage. Talking to each other is a good start and if there are still problems talking to a Christian marriage counselor isn't a bad idea either.

But once married start learning about each other and what you like. I like kissing and hand holding little things. I also like love notes left around because that makes me feel special that my husband cares. Communication is key. If you aren't happy without having sex then talk to your wife about it and find a way to have sex once in a while. People don't like it because they don't talk to each other and express what makes them happy.

Some folks have problems dysfunctions, maybe too fast, too slow....etc.... These things can be worked on and figured out. But it starts by talking about it and trying to work through it. Sometimes partners don't want to talk about it because their feelings get hurt or they feel that they are faulty so the other partner just lives with whatever and then the regrets start... etc.

Talk to your wife about it there is no reason for you to have regrets you just need to work out your issues and pray about them and include God in this tell Him you want to have sex with your wife and not feel so frustrated that you want your relationship with Him and with her to be better and closer than it has ever been before.

No reasons for you to have regrets you can do something about your situation..... ask God to help you with it and how to figure it out....
 
A

Amazing-Grace

Guest
#60
Lets be honest here - if you had had sex before you married you would find it a whole lot more difficult going without it now you are married!