Regret

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R

Regret

Guest
#1
As a young Christian I was convinced that my abstinence would be rewarded one day. I waited, and now I realizing that it's never going to happen and I live with regret.
I feel ripped off, and angry to think that my prayers went ignored.
How can I trust god again?
Listening to what god did for someone else just makes it worse, doesn't help at all.
And to tell me again that sex is overrated and just not worth it is easy for you when you have been there and experienced it for yourself.
I hate living in celibacy,
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#2
Rewarded how? I know of no great reward promised for our daily obedience to God. Perhaps that was the problem for you. Your goal was reward and not a genuine heart seeking to do what's right for God. You can't have selfish intentions behind good actions and expect that to matter to God.
Also have you considered that the people that taught this were wrong? That the blame is focused in the wrong direction?

Honestly you sound as if your intentions are all selfish. You obey hoping for reward. And when you don't get a reward you throw a childish tantrum.

I was 13 when i lost my virginity. One of the biggest mistakes of my life that, even at 41, i still regret to this day. So don't give me this whole 'you don't know how it feels'. I KNOW regret pal. I know it WELL. I have a long list of regrets because i made stupid, selfish choices. And Because of that choice at 13 i have battled ever since with sexual desire. Because i DO know what i'm missing. It's YOU that are the clueless one. And i have known many who were virgins and struggled as well. So i'm aware of both sides of the coin, so don't presume you know anything about Anyone on this site and that they don't understand. You're the one throwing a childish tantrum. So it's time to grow up, realize you aren't the only one struggling and decide what you really believe. Because if all you care about is what you can get from God then you have Never known Him to begin with. Following God isn't about reward, it's about a heart that desires to do right, whether you get a reward or you nothing or you get persecuted

There are people in this world being tortured and murdered because of their faith and you have the gall to throw a fit because God didn't buy you a puppy for not having sex. Grow up.
 
A

Amazing-Grace

Guest
#3
Rewarded how? I know of no great reward promised for our daily obedience to God. Perhaps that was the problem for you. Your goal was reward and not a genuine heart seeking to do what's right for God. You can't have selfish intentions behind good actions and expect that to matter to God.
Also have you considered that the people that taught this were wrong? That the blame is focused in the wrong direction?

Honestly you sound as if your intentions are all selfish. You obey hoping for reward. And when you don't get a reward you throw a childish tantrum.

I was 13 when i lost my virginity. One of the biggest mistakes of my life that, even at 41, i still regret to this day. So don't give me this whole 'you don't know how it feels'. I KNOW regret pal. I know it WELL. I have a long list of regrets because i made stupid, selfish choices. And Because of that choice at 13 i have battled ever since with sexual desire. Because i DO know what i'm missing. It's YOU that are the clueless one. And i have known many who were virgins and struggled as well. So i'm aware of both sides of the coin, so don't presume you know anything about Anyone on this site and that they don't understand. You're the one throwing a childish tantrum. So it's time to grow up, realize you aren't the only one struggling and decide what you really believe. Because if all you care about is what you can get from God then you have Never known Him to begin with. Following God isn't about reward, it's about a heart that desires to do right, whether you get a reward or you nothing or you get persecuted

There are people in this world being tortured and murdered because of their faith and you have the gall to throw a fit because God didn't buy you a puppy for not having sex. Grow up.
Whoah Ugly that was harsh!
 
A

Amazing-Grace

Guest
#4
As a young Christian I was convinced that my abstinence would be rewarded one day. I waited, and now I realizing that it's never going to happen and I live with regret.
I feel ripped off, and angry to think that my prayers went ignored.
How can I trust god again?
Listening to what god did for someone else just makes it worse, doesn't help at all.
And to tell me again that sex is overrated and just not worth it is easy for you when you have been there and experienced it for yourself.
I hate living in celibacy,
OK so your profile states you are married???
 
R

Regret

Guest
#7
Yes,
Been married for 22 years, and 13 years to my first wife.
Yes,
I was tricked into believing I should wait till marriage.
Married people don't
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,862
9,581
113
#8
Soooo.. let me get this straight. You've been married for 22 years, and haven't had sex with her in all that time? Why not? :confused:


Yes,
Been married for 22 years, and 13 years to my first wife.
Yes,
I was tricked into believing I should wait till marriage.
Married people don't
 
R

Regret

Guest
#9
My wife doesn't want or like it.
I love her and respect her feelings.

Similar to "Ugly" who only had sex once when 13 years old and still regrets it.
 
A

Amazing-Grace

Guest
#10
My wife doesn't want or like it.
I love her and respect her feelings.

Similar to "Ugly" who only had sex once when 13 years old and still regrets it.
What about your first wife - didn't she like sex either? I think you are "pulling our leg"!
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,862
9,581
113
#11
Well... I know you don't want to hear this, but God does destine some people to be celibate for their entire lives..Maybe you could try looking for the blessings in being celibate, instead of blaming God. It's not God's fault that your wife doesn't like having sex.. I've been single my entire life, but I've had sex in 3 of my relationships, and let me tell you, sex is NOT "the bomb"..


My wife doesn't want or like it.
I love her and respect her feelings.

Similar to "Ugly" who only had sex once when 13 years old and still regrets it.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,862
9,581
113
#13
Some women (and some men) don't like or want having sex. It may be because they feel like it's not an absolute thing to do in order to live their lives. Or something may have happened in their lives, to turn them off to wanting sex. But it isn't their fault..Nor is it God's fault.
 
T

TemporaryCircumstances

Guest
#14
As a young Christian I was convinced that my abstinence would be rewarded one day. I waited, and now I realizing that it's never going to happen and I live with regret.
I feel ripped off, and angry to think that my prayers went ignored.
How can I trust god again?
Listening to what god did for someone else just makes it worse, doesn't help at all.
And to tell me again that sex is overrated and just not worth it is easy for you when you have been there and experienced it for yourself.
I hate living in celibacy,
I understand your problem is with sex,
But do you really want to talk about "how can I trust Gd again?"
Seriously?
I know you don't know me or my story yet, but I have been in some crappy situations, a lot of people have. All that time I could've been like "Gd why did you do this to me? I tried to follow you, I can't trust you..."
Would that have helped? No. I made it through because instead of blaming it on him I relied on him.

He has a plan larger than your understanding, so stop trying to understand that plan and learn to rely on the one who does understand your plan
 
R

Regret

Guest
#15
So, what's the point here?
Sex is Sin, not to be a part of the Christian experience.
Only non-Christian can enjoy
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,862
9,581
113
#16
For married people, sex is NOT a sin. Neither is not having sex. ANYONE can have sex, that doesn't mean that they enjoy it..


So, what's the point here?
Sex is Sin, not to be a part of the Christian experience.
Only non-Christian can enjoy
 
S

sevenseas

Guest
#17
what's really going on???
 
T

TemporaryCircumstances

Guest
#18
So, what's the point here?
Sex is Sin, not to be a part of the Christian experience.
Only non-Christian can enjoy
Um no.
Sex is not always sin, it can be yes.
But, if you cannot have sex for ANY REASON it is NOT Gd's fault. You can trust Gd to make it through instead of blaming him.
 
R

Regret

Guest
#19
I trusted god when I "Waited till Marrage" now I should trust him to make it through the fact that I can't trust him?
That doesn't make any sense!
Are all christians sexually frustrated?
That just couldn't be gods perfect plan, not for me anyway.
Sex is a as much as a natural part of life as birth, why is it so hated in the Christian community?
Just curious, I do want to understand.
And YES!, I do blame god! It's been my prayer since I was a teenager, that derserves an explanation.
 
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sevenseas

Guest
#20
I'm sorry Regret, but it kind of sounds like you are blaming God for your choice in who you married.

How did you end up marrying two women who should have remained unmarried?

It is hardly fair to marry someone if you prefer to sleep alone.