I’m so sorry to hear about what you're facing, girl. I know how painful and devastating it must be for you, and I wish I could give you a hug. It's pretty obvious that you want to have a good marriage. I just said a prayer for you, and I hope that God will provide the wisdom, strength, and help you need at this time. Have you ever considered talking with a counselor? Do you think that's something that might be helpful for you personally? A good counselor might be able to give you some solid guidance. Do you think your husband might consider going with you? Your situation may seem impossible right now, but I do believe there is hope. Sending hugs & prayers your way!