Newbie

Hi I'm new here and am really looking for advice giving by people with the same morals that I have. I've tried everything I can to work thru a problem my marriage has been having for the last 25 years. I have totally and completely lost all hope and don't know what to do. I've never entertained the idea of divorce but I'm just so sad and lonely I've lost all my joy and I know that's not the way God us to be. I don't k is where to begin to explain my problem and the last thing I want to do is offend anybody. Does anyone have any advice. The subject is sensitive and as I said I don't want people to think I'm wanting to talk about it for any reason than a peace of mind. Our marriage has no intimacy whatsoever and I don't know where else to turn. I'm thinking that no matter what advice any of you give I've already tried. I love my wife and would never want to hurt her. As the years pass by it takes all that I could ever hope for with them. I'll understand if no one wants to reply to this. Thanks anyway and God bless all of you.

Welcome Nokorse, ill pray for your marriage

I can understand how lonely and frustrated you must be. I'm sure that you have discussed this with your wife as well.

It is sad to be in what is supposed to be the most intimate relationship possible in marriage with someone you love and the feeling is not reciprocated both physically and mentally. I believed that if this void in your life is not addressed it will eventually eat you up inside and your life will be joyless.

Hopefully, you will find comfort, support and understanding from the members of this site. Please know that you are not alone in this type of situation, there are many others and some of them are members. They may be able to offer you wise counsel.

Yes, I know that you have never entertained thoughts of divorce but this may be something you have to seriously consider. I have said a prayer for you for God to give you clarity of though on how to best proceed.

Glad to have you join our family. Welcome to CC.

Thank you I'll take all the prayers I can get

Thanks. Divorce would hurt so many people. I'd be constantly worried that she was doing ok. But I believe it's pretty rare for a woman in her 50s to start having desires for intimacy. But your right it's eating me up, it's on my mind all the time. The feeling of worthlessness is overwhelming. I have to admit I'm becoming bitter about it. And the hurt is so deep it all consuming. I find that I don't want to be around her and just carrying a conversation with her takes all the will I can muster. She'll ask me what's wrong and when I tell her she'll clam up for days.

Hang in there, 25years in a marriage is something worth working through. Marriage is not easy, don't give up. When there is no intimacy everything in marriage seems like a chore. Sometimes it just seems easier to just walk away than to put effort into fixing the broken pieces. I've been there. It will take time. For me I stopped working on my marriage during the rough time but instead I focused on working on myself. Praying to God what I needed to change within myself. God showed me what I was so blinded to, I grew as a person and only then I could start working on my marriage. It was the most vulnerable and selfless thing I could do to save my marriage. I will pray for you and your wife. Welcome to CC.

I love that you say, "I love my wife and would never want to hurt her." Have you looked to any of the resources the Christian organization Focus on the Family provides? I'd be glad to point you in that direction. Sending prayers for you both to find a way to communicate with God's love.

You said its been a problem all though your marriage... Was there a beginning to this? When you were newly married,how were things then? Have you tried to discover where this began? It might bring some answers.

Of course your first source should always be prayer. Have you ever read the 5 Love Languages? It's a pretty good book, maybe you're not speaking her "love language."

I might have to look this book up. It might be a good read.

It is! I've found the concept helpful even for other non-martial relationships.