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Victimized

Guest
#1
Hi, I have been married for 30 years, recently separated due to verbal abuse and now issues with porn and online dating sites. Need some encouragement to start a new life after all these years devoted to a marriage.
 
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CeileDe

Guest
#2
Hi, I have been married for 30 years, recently separated due to verbal abuse and now issues with porn and online dating sites. Need some encouragement to start a new life after all these years devoted to a marriage.
Welcome to CC. I'm sorry you are going through a hard time. Just remember God loves you and He wants you to put your trust in Him. Put your marriage in Gods hands and see what happens from there.
 
Oct 19, 2016
635
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#3
Welcome to CC, friend. I’m so sorry to hear about your situation. Wish I could give you a hug. I know how painful and devastating it must be for you. Are you seeing a therapist/counselor? Do you think that's something that might be helpful for you personally? A caring professional might be able to give you some solid guidance. I just said a prayer for you, asking the Lord to surround you with His perfect love, comfort and peace. We serve a compassionate, loving God who knows and cares about every detail of our lives. May your confidence in His grace and goodness increase as you look to Him in faith. Hugs!
 

danja

Senior Member
Nov 28, 2014
2,067
1,888
113
#4
Welcome to CC sister.
 
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wonderwoman

Guest
#5
Hallo.. welcome... it is just a phase in your life.. i hope you will pass these issue soon....Gbu
 
M

Marble_collector

Guest
#6
I'm sorry to hear of the problems you are facing in your life. Trust God will help you throughout this and yo just have to ask him. Trust him to carry your burdens He is better equipped to handle it and it helps take the stress off you. God Bless
 
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Victimized

Guest
#8
Yes, I have a wonderful Christian counselor who is also a pastor and she spends a cpl hours with me every week. That has helped immensely, it is just hard to keep going between my visits with her. But I suffer from treatment-resistant depression which complicates things. When my husband contacts me, I am a mess, and she has advised me to minimize contact at this time while I work on getting stronger and allowing God to help me. The fact that my husband has lied to and manipulated me really has done a lot of harm to my emotional state. He knows how to push my buttons and tries to make me feel guilty for leaving home, but I had no choice. I no longer felt safe there and my doctor advised me to leave. Another counselor had told me that also, but I didn't know where to go. So I hid from my husband a lot. Thanks for your concern.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
9,601
113
#9
Since you're coming out of an abusive marriage, the LAST thing you should be doing is going on dating sites..
 
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Victimized

Guest
#10
No, I am absolutely not going on dating sites! My husband has been on porn and dating sites and lied about it.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
9,601
113
#11
Oh, okay. I misunderstood.. Sorry.. :)

Is he willing to go to counseling or therapy? Or does he just want out of the marriage so he can carry on with his lies?


No, I am absolutely not going on dating sites! My husband has been on porn and dating sites and lied about it.
 
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Victimized

Guest
#12
He has gone to a counselor but I have seen his behavior become even worse. I went to that counselor once with him but was really disappointed in him. I have found a pastoral counselor who is wonderful but she doesn't want to deal with my husband. She has seen his messages to me and doesn't wish to meet with him. And I totally understand why. He would not be receptive to her attempts at counseling. She is very Biblical, commonsense, and does not have a lot of patience for narcissism. I truly hope he gets the help he needs. My doctor, counselor and I all believe he needs mental/medical help, but I finally have come to the realization that I will never be happy with him. The years of abuse have just drained me to the point that I feel like I lost a huge chunk of my life and need to find my way now with God's help.
 
R

Randor

Guest
#13
Just keep your eyes on God. and everything will be just fine...remember on God not yourself.
 
B

Bate

Guest
#14
You're welcome to CC; hope you find the help you need. Prayers for you. :)