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Welcome to CC, friend. I’m so sorry to hear about your situation. Wish I could give you a hug. I know how painful and devastating it must be for you. Are you seeing a therapist/counselor? Do you think that's something that might be helpful for you personally? A caring professional might be able to give you some solid guidance. I just said a prayer for you, asking the Lord to surround you with His perfect love, comfort and peace. We serve a compassionate, loving God who knows and cares about every detail of our lives. May your confidence in His grace and goodness increase as you look to Him in faith. Hugs!
V
Yes, I have a wonderful Christian counselor who is also a pastor and she spends a cpl hours with me every week. That has helped immensely, it is just hard to keep going between my visits with her. But I suffer from treatment-resistant depression which complicates things. When my husband contacts me, I am a mess, and she has advised me to minimize contact at this time while I work on getting stronger and allowing God to help me. The fact that my husband has lied to and manipulated me really has done a lot of harm to my emotional state. He knows how to push my buttons and tries to make me feel guilty for leaving home, but I had no choice. I no longer felt safe there and my doctor advised me to leave. Another counselor had told me that also, but I didn't know where to go. So I hid from my husband a lot. Thanks for your concern.
V
He has gone to a counselor but I have seen his behavior become even worse. I went to that counselor once with him but was really disappointed in him. I have found a pastoral counselor who is wonderful but she doesn't want to deal with my husband. She has seen his messages to me and doesn't wish to meet with him. And I totally understand why. He would not be receptive to her attempts at counseling. She is very Biblical, commonsense, and does not have a lot of patience for narcissism. I truly hope he gets the help he needs. My doctor, counselor and I all believe he needs mental/medical help, but I finally have come to the realization that I will never be happy with him. The years of abuse have just drained me to the point that I feel like I lost a huge chunk of my life and need to find my way now with God's help.