Brink of divorce help

I am 42 been married for 19 years my husband has been battling an addiction to porn for years now he has acted on his fantasy and had affairs I have dealt with the pain lack of trust and everything that goes along with that. But two days ago I found it started again I lost it kicked him out and haven't heard from him in two days. I have been praying begging for answers 1 Corinthians continues to come up . Then came to book store picked up a book A Fierce love and though out the book 1 Corinthians is mentioned. Her story very similar to mine except for I allowed him to leave and she didn't I believe this is God speaking to me about my marriage but how do I get him back home. I praying and believeing God will fix this but I let myself get in the way what do I do ?

I will pray for you. Let the Holy Spirit lead you and pray about what to do. Isaiah 55:12 says: For ye shall go out with joy,and be led forth with peace:
the mountains and the hills shall break forth before you into singing,
and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands.

The Holy Spirit leads by peace. If you don't have peace about it or joy about it then don't do it. If you have peace about it, take action.

Hi TA.......cyber hugs!


Welcome to CC. It's good to have you here.


I'm sorry to hear about what you're going through.


I wanted to ask you why you want a husband back when he's cheating on you? If it's going to work out where he will repent and ask your forgiveness and you want him back that's great. But do you really want a husband that doesn't love you and is cheating on you and it's been an ongoing problem.


He needs help and if he wants it, that's great! But until he acknowledges his sin against you and against God, I wouldn't allow him to come back.


Do you have a church home where you can find counseling? You need someone in your life to help you through this. Do you have children?


Also, about the book, it might be a way for God to speak to you and it might not. You and your husband are different from the author and her husband. And God doesn't always work exactly the same as what we read in a book. It could be that God will use her experience to help you with our marriage, but I just don't want you to get false hopes that your situation will turn out exactly like what the author wrote in her book.


I'd like to encourage you to pray and wait on the Lord. Renew your relationship with God and get close to him with the extra time you'll have on your hands now that he's not there. Get into the word of God and you'll find help, guidance and hope for your future.


God bless you; I'll be praying for you.

I know I am praying about it I'm so torn as to what to do but I'm just not ready to give up I know strange I married for a lifetime. Pray for me I am truly so lost.

Thank you I'm in a dark place but I will not let the enemy win either way let it be Gods plan

May you have peace even if your husband is not with you. Pray for him and let him come back on his own. Let God do His work on your husband and also in you. Welcome to CC.

Thank you nights are the worse I am praying God gives me peace

Thank you nights are the worse I am praying God gives me peace

Hi TA,

Don't do anything.
If he wants to, he'll come back on his own.
If he doesn't want to, nothing you do will help.

If he does come back, I'd try to help him get over the addiction.
Any addiction is bad.
Sometimes we want even more what we can't have.

That's the best I can do.
Everyone is different.

God bless you.

Yes this morning I feel a bit renuned I know God is in control at some point He needs to come home even if only for stuff but I'm letting God control his heart, please pray for me

Hi TA,

It must be so difficult ...... I would still love my husband as well - "to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part".

There would be compassion for him as well even though he is being unfaithful. But for your sake and his, until he's willing to leave his life of adultery, and his addiction to pornography, there's no joy for your marriage, only sorrow.

The anger you expressed towards him will continue if he's sleeping with other women or looking at other women through the computer.

Like the alcoholic, he needs to admit to himself he needs help, that his life is in big trouble.

You have a heart of gold to be concerned for him and to want him back. Waiting in the hardest thing to do. But trusting God is the crème de la crème - the best of the best.

Proverbs 3:5-8 says
trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not to your own understanding,
in all your ways acknowledge Him
and He will make your paths strait.
Do not be wise in your own eyes;
Fear the Lord and turn away from evil.
It will be healing to your body
And refreshment to your bones.

Psalm 62:5-8 says

I meant to also add that I'll be praying for you and your husband.

Welcome here you can discuss with bible smart people and possibly make new friends,hope you like it here!

Good day sister,
You getting fed up and teling him to leave dosent make your responce worse than the book your reading. Enter into rest in God with ashurance, you obviously have forgiven him and desire him home and recovered. Make the most of the time out and dont feel blame. It's well to grive and we should, but there is no blame: be at peace. "Let the peace of God rule in your heart and be thankful.

You are so right I'm tired and pain for what has done then why do I miss him so much I feel crazy for wanting him home so badly. I don't understand why I can't walk away I love him and I married for life why is this so hard. This is a tough day still don't know where he is at and not a phone call or text. Please keep me in your prayers thank you

I think (not that it matters what I think) that it's hard because we are entering into judgment, "Judgment must begin at the house of God. Harder for those more accountable:to turn to prayer rather than to the world for help, admitting our need of help as you did. I was troubled today with lusting after women. We are troubled whether married or single and need to change by being content in relationship with God. We can get up and go on: you, your husband and everyone else. Don't take on burdens that were not for you to bear. I had a girlfriend who loved money more than me, she called me today and ended up desiring the company of a woman triggered by her lack of interest in me. Wanting what we cant have is the coveting of idolatry: referred as fornication, and the only cause of divorce, unlike adultery, that can be forgiven; fornication is when the person won't repent, rejecting conviction of the Holy Spirit. You should share this with your husband and if he is willing get counseling with Him. Keep in mind the Holy spirit is the counsellor and not any man. You may need more than one opinion. "In multitude of counsellors there is safety." Someone who won't take sides between the two of one, of you.