New, need help

Hello. I was raised a christian and became an agnostic at about age 19. I started to question and doubt religion and even mocked God. I went into severe depression and have been getting worse and worse and close to ending my life out of desperation. I'm 28 now and struggling. I want to give myself back to God but it's like he's angry at me now. Or when I try to return to him it's like i can't fully commit myself. I still have doubts about the bible and I think it's holding me back. I also have doubts that other believers of different denominations go to hell for believing in what they were raised in, example Muslims.

I'm just desperate for help right now and any prayer to move God's holy spirit and give me something because I'm at the end of the road. I need something, or some guidance or help. I don't know what I'm doing wrong, maybe it's just learned helplessness. Any advice?

Hi Micah
As far as returning to God and Him being angry I'd like to point you to the parable of the prodigal son. He left his Father to live his own life, according to his own will. He bottomed out, ruining his life and returned home, not even sure he would be accepted. But instead his Father was thrilled at his return. Even threw a banquet to celebrate. God wants you back, He's not angry. It's more likely Your anger, not His, that you're feeling.

As far as "denominations" i think you have the term confused. Denominations refer to the variation of beliefs within the faith, such as Baptist or Pentecostal. Some do claim there's is the only one, but that's not biblical. Even the bible itself talks about people back then doing the same thing.
Muslim is a separate religion, not a denomination. Just like Jehovah's Witness, Catholic and Mormon. Their beliefs are so far strayed from the teachings of the bible they can no longer qualify as being the same, even at the core.

You are viewing salvation as a good person/bad person mindset. But truly this makes no sense and is impossible to live out. Who decides who is good? What standard? Does that standard change over time? If so then where is the fairness in someone going to help for what was considered evil 100 years ago that is no longer seen as evil now? Or what of people with a mental illness that pushes them to evil behavior? Do they get punished for their mind malfunctioning or do they get a free pass from being evil? It's an impossible way to measure ones spiritual worthiness.
Now, God's system makes the most sense. We are All evil. And there is one, easy way to gain salvation. You have the choice to choose it or reject it. There is no earning it. Choose it and choose to live it out. It erases all of these "what ifs" and grey areas. It's a solid, equal, flat, unchanging truth. Just vecause people dislike the option doesn't make it unfair. It shows their will is of greater value than their spiritual life now, and in the future.

In regards to questions about the bible, you will Never have all the answers on earth. If you're waiting for that then you will Never return to God. That is the point of faith. Believing without seeing. Or seeing enough to convince you without seeing it all.

It's clear God is chasing you down. Your life has declined and bottomed out without Him. I think, deep down, you know the truth, you know what you need, but fear is holding you back.
Is that the note you want to end your life on? Fear. Lack of action? Are you willing to fight God till, literally, your last breath? When you're finally facing those last few moments will those deep down truths become clear? Will your last thought be "I was wrong, what have I done? It's too late now".

Hope something here helps.

Welcome here you can discuss with bible smart people and possibly make new friends,hope you like it here!
Also don't fret so much about what you have done in the past,we all at one point have been far from God but understand that he is always happy to welcome us to him or back to him,just as with Ugly's example of the prodical son.

thanks for your replies guys. it means alot

Hi! Micah good morning! just woke up I just prayed for you bro.

Our Redeemer is true to His promises He will finish what He started in you Take your next step with a heart of faith ❤


Welcome bro! nice to meet you God bless you ❤

Welcome Micah...Jesus said, "I stand at the door and knock." You have the power to let Him in. Open your "Heart" to Him and be ready to be amazed!

Hi, Micah. Welcome! God loves you! He is not angry with you. Seek His face and He will show Himself to you. He is your friend and your confidant. We live in a fallen world and our flesh is weak. I'm convinced that we all struggle with these types of issues to a certain degree because the enemy lies to us constantly.

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. (Ephesians 6) But I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8)

Do you go to church, Michah? Do you study the Word? True study will convince you that it is the truth of God. There are no such things as coincidence. It is not a coincidence that Jesus fulfilled the law and that He was the perfect Lamb of God. He fulfills ALL of the prophecy of the Old Testament. The entire Bible is about Jesus. Thanks for posting here. I will be praying for you that God will reveal Himself to you in a way that is undeniable. [h=4]Footnotes:[/h]

If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me.
Matthew 16:24
Charles Simeon was converted to Christ Easter Sunday of 1779, while a student at the University of Cambridge. His new enthusiasm for Christ stirred opposition, especially when he was later assigned as rector of the Holy Trinity Church in Cambridge. Both his fellow students and his parishioners scorned him for his newfound testimony.
Recommended Reading: Matthew 27:32-35
Simeon wrote, “I strolled forth one day, buffeted and afflicted, with my little Testament in my hand. I prayed earnestly to my God that He would comfort me...from His Word and that, on opening the Book, I should find some text which should sustain me. The first which caught my eye was this: ‘They found a man of Cyrene, Simon by name; him they compelled to carry the cross.’ You know, Simon is the same name as Simeon. What a word of instruction was here, a blessed hint for my encouragement!”
Encouraged by that text, Simeon went on to become an evangelistic force in England for years to come. Jesus doesn’t call us to a life of ease and effortlessness. But as the burdens grow, His Word becomes sweeter and His strength sustains us as we serve Him, even beyond the call of duty.
To have the cross laid upon me, that I might bear it after Jesus—what a privilege!
Charles Simeon

This was a post in my email from David Jeremiah....it may be very helpful. God bless 'little' brother in Christ!

Read my depression testimony. Follow the instructions in my signature below..

My first advice, your questions and concerns are valid! To find those answers and to validate the answers you will receive you need to read the Bible and find a pastor/church that focuses on and teaches the Bible. In regards to the Bible, many are concerned the Bible was written by man and is fallible…well, the following passage acknowledges this fear or worry:

All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.
2 Timothy 3:16-17

Read the surrounding verses as well. The following verses deal with prayer and Bible requirements. To know anything or any topic one has to read and research the topic. Start with the new testament and then go to the old; Jesus’s edicts and requirements are laid out in the new covenant, which is the new testament.

God does not hate you, he may be punishing you, but does not hate! Ask for his forgiveness, on your knees dedicate yourself to God almighty, pray for forgiveness, accept Jesus Christ and renew your relationship with Christ! He is waiting for you to acknowledge him, to apologize for your behavior and waiting for you to ask for His forgiveness. Concern yourself with you, once you have laid the groundwork, worry about others and their responsibilities to God. You are on the right path my friend, asking questions, and testing your faith, learning more and more…it wasn’t until the last ten years, I’m 50, that I truly understood God and my responsibilities to him –

[FONT=&quot]- [/FONT]We are to surrender to him daily
[FONT=&quot]- [/FONT]We are to submit to His will daily
[FONT=&quot]- [/FONT]We are to pray to Him daily
[FONT=&quot]- [/FONT]We are to love our neighbor, brothers and sisters
[FONT=&quot]- [/FONT]We are to forgive and ask for forgiveness
[FONT=&quot]- [/FONT]We are to read the Bible daily
[FONT=&quot]- [/FONT]We are to fellowship (church)
[FONT=&quot]- [/FONT]We are to thank Him in everything, good, bad, and in horrible times!


Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.
Joshua 1:8

Forgiveness:

If…you seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you look for him with all your heart and with all your soul.
Deuteronomy 4:29

Jesus said, “When you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.” Matthew 6:6

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6

Jesus said, “Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete.” John 16:24

Jesus, heavenly Father, please lead this person along their path, bless this person with your Holy Spirit and wash away their sin and doubt! Prosper this person, spiritually and otherwise, have mercy and allow this person to feel your presence O’Lord! You are truly great and I ask for this in Jesus’s name, Amen. Don’t hesitate to ask, I am no authority, but I understand your struggles and I am willing to help and discuss! May God bless you along your journey, get to know Him fully before you reject Him!