Welcome to CC, Austin.
I’m sorry to hear about your struggle. Please know that we serve a compassionate, loving God who knows and cares about every detail of our lives, and He is able to help you through your difficulties. I just said a prayer for you, asking Him to draw you closer to Himself and to guide you in His ways. You can always come here to share and we’re all here to support you. I hope you’ll have a blessed stay here. Blessings!