beckyz:
Good Morning and Thank You for the welcoming message. It is not that I couldn't admit that I'm a Christian. My absence was originally due to a career that keep me working 12-16 hour days on the weekend and I was unable to attend church services. Then the past 8 years have just been one crisis/challenge after another. Not small ones either ... death of my younger brother ( my son saved his life and I was holding him as he went to the Lord) after his body was ravaged with more than 6 types of cancer, breakup of a marriage, loss of a home (apt building) and everything in it due to a fire, and a car accident that has disabled me. During my absence from the church I was still praying and talking to God, just not as effectively as I could of been and now I realize I was not listening to Him or following His will for my life. All of this came clear to me recently when a relationship was ending and all I asked God for was just to bring this person back to explain why he was ending it out of the clear blue. It dawned on me that I didn't ask God to bring him back to me to stay with me even though I wanted that. So, God brought him back long enough to give me his explanations. There had always been some underlying issues and I wasn't strong enough to break it off so God made it possible. Yes, as painful as it is/was it has made me see clearly what I've been missing in my life for so long .. actually listening to and following God's will for my life. Now, everyday I'm talking to God more and more and LISTENING with all my might.
