No preaching at all. I did not darken a churches door for 20 years for the same reasons. felt like my money was the most important thing. Like i was being sold a behavior modification class. I was angry, drinking and sinking deeper and deeper. When the fight is all you feel you have left, then fight is at least an action you can control. I am not earning any money and deep in debt, kids missing out on things and have moments of saddness that borders on violance. Am I close?