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Thread: Separated wife, battling gay desires

  1. #1
    tiger27
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    Default Separated wife, battling gay desires

    This is the first time I've ever done this sort of thing, because I need HELP I would appreciate feedback from other women who have been in the same circumstances as me.

    I have been raised a christian, was married to a christian man for 16 years, however (after 2 failed attempts), have separated - will be getting divorced. The separation was all amicable, we just weren't meant to be together & both accepted that fact. We have been separated for over a year now.

    Life gave me a strange twist in that I ended up falling in love with my female friend & was with her for 3 months, in secrecy. She is gay & married. At the time, we were both in the same situation - our needs weren't being met & we found what we needed in each other, both emotionally & physically.

    This woman made me feel on top of the world & made me feel special, like no-one had ever done before. What started out as a friendship, became more serious. However, we both knew that it was wrong & had to stop, so the affair ended.

    We somehow have managed to stay friends, however whilst she has gotten back on with her normal life, I am struggling badly, enough that I had to go onto anti-depressants. All along I knew this was wrong, even though I haven't attended church for sometime, however lust is a powerful thing.

    I do not know where to begin to get my life right again. I feel so much guilt & shame, that I wonder if God will ever forgive me. My life is a mess, riddled with confusion, depression & worthlessness.
    destiny and damombomb like this.

  2. #2
    stino
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    Default Re: Separated wife, battling gay desires

    Dear pal, It's appalling to know your situation. I pity you as of now. But, remember, this world is going to meet its end very soon. The Lord Jesus will appear in cloud soon to receive His own unto Himself. It is imminent, and all the faithful children of God would take off in a twinkling of an eye for sure! Now, the immediate action that a sinner should take is seek His pardon, repent and turn to Him. He will forgive all the sins and blot them away with the precious blood of His own Son who laid His life on the cruel cross for the sins of the whole world, even yours. It's high time all the nations of the world turn away from their sinful life to allow Jesus Christ to move into their hearts, only to change their destiny from hell to heaven. He loves us all all the same, for He is the same yesterday, today, and for ever. I remember a chorus I used to sing when I was going to Sunday school, even today! It goes like this - He lives, He lives, Christ Jesus lives today! He walks with me and talks with me along life's narrow way; He lives, He lives, salvation to Him impart; You ask me, How I know He lives. He lives within my heart!! So, my dear friend, what had made you mess up your life, I do not understand. But, I can only say that you surely can find a solution/remedy to your intricate problem of life, right now! Please cry unto Him, Lord, have mercy on me!! May God bless you. Amen.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Separated wife, battling gay desires

    Spalled really wasn't the best choice of words used by one responder. Your situation is not unique and occurs a lot within the world. You were missing pieces in your life. You found what you needed in this woman. Is it a sin, yes it is. Despite all the rhetoric spouted above God knows your human because he created you. You were given free will and choice two powerful weapons within our universe! We all know that God is our final judge and we will be brought before him to answer. The choice is yours what to do and only yours! Be true to yourself and be true to God and you will find your way. Don't let ANYONE beat you down for the choice you have made! If you ever want to talk privately hit me up!
    damombomb, xCarlax and tiger27 like this.

  4. #4
    Senior Member damombomb's Avatar
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    Default Re: Separated wife, battling gay desires

    You are already on the right the right track. it seems the Lord is dealing with your heart. Youve already repented. let it go and move on in the Lord.
    He has great plans for you, just seek him with all your heart and he will direct your path. He loves you and his purpose is more fufilling than than
    anything the wolrd has to offer.
    Jackson1980 and tiger27 like this.

  5. #5
    JoeKM
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    Default Re: Separated wife, battling gay desires

    Hmm, have you had bad situations with men? I have found that women (at times) turn to the gay lifestyle because men have treated them horribly... I am truly sorry for the pain you have experienced. I pray The Lord's healing touch may be upon you. I also pray that Jesus may direct all of your ways. I truly mourn for your pain and hardships. I bless you and pray that you may find refuge and comfort in this place. May The Lord Jesus Christ consume your life with Love, Peace and HIS Will.
    Jackson1980 likes this.

  6. #6
    tiger27
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    Default Re: Separated wife, battling gay desires

    No, I haven't had any bad situations with men. As I said, I was married for 16 years with the same man.

    I was craving love, that wasn't being given out - and found it in the arms of another woman.

  7. #7
    tiger27
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    Default Re: Separated wife, battling gay desires

    Appalling? Pity? I'm not asking for anyone's pity, far from it. I'm seeking answers from Godly people in order to get my life back on track with the Lord; as a sheep who has strayed, I hear my Master calling me back.
    onlinebuddy and Paullister like this.

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    Default Re: Separated wife, battling gay desires

    Quote Originally Posted by tiger27 View Post
    Appalling? Pity? I'm not asking for anyone's pity, far from it. I'm seeking answers from Godly people in order to get my life back on track with the Lord; as a sheep who has strayed, I hear my Master calling me back.
    You have the answer....in a nutshell ACT!! Be proactive and your path will become clear!

  9. #9
    JoeKM
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    Default Re: Separated wife, battling gay desires

    Quote Originally Posted by tiger27 View Post
    No, I haven't had any bad situations with men. As I said, I was married for 16 years with the same man.

    I was craving love, that wasn't being given out - and found it in the arms of another woman.
    I understand, sorry then for my wrong assumption. I pray you find great believers here who will comfort and encourage you. Bless you and may The Lord direct all of your ways.
    Jackson1980 and tiger27 like this.

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Separated wife, battling gay desires

    Quote Originally Posted by JoeKM View Post
    I understand, sorry then for my wrong assumption. I pray you find great believers here who will comfort and encourage you. Bless you and may The Lord direct all of your ways.
    Ahhhhh that dreaded assume word again!

  11. #11
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    Default Re: Separated wife, battling gay desires

    Tiger27 -
    Please disregard the appalling advice you got above from halfevil333, this was his first day on the blog and he's already been banned.
    So please, don't take anything he said seriously.
    I don't pretend to understand your situation.
    I only know this: that God saves to the utmost.
    There is nothing you have done - nothing that you have acted out - - - - that can't be forgiven.
    Jesus is in the forgiving business.
    And the great thing about Him is when He forgives, He forgets.
    I know that what you have been through has upset your life like an earthquake.
    I know you feel dirty and deranged.
    - - - - But God's Grace is Greater than that!
    Jesus payed such a penalty.........do you know why?
    It was to reconcile us to Him. - - - No......no......no.......there is no sin great enough to
    separate you from His tender mercies, (which are new every morning); and great Grace and Love.

    I know right now you might feel morally disjointed, with the amplitude of soulish passion and how
    both doing it and missing it must make you feel. - - - How lost and unattached you must feel.......


    BUT GOD'S LOVE IS GREATER!
    And He will forgive you...........(quite easily for Him). - Much easier than you can forgive yourself.

    Listen,....we have all done things that are detestable in our own eyes.........do you think you are any different?
    (Well, you are not). There is NO sin that Jesus didn't die for; substituting His perfect life as the sacrifice for our disjointed, filthy ones.

    I'll pray -

    "Thank you Lord, Jesus. - Thank You that you not only came and lived a perfect life(overcoming sin); but You were obedient to even
    suffer a tormenting death that You would stand in our place.
    And thank you, that You took upon Yourself, every iniquity that any of us committed, and swallowed it up in Your perfect body!
    And that your unyielding life, flowed out and down Your sinless sacrifice. - - - - And by it we are cleansed!
    Thank You that You shed Your sinless life, ..........for all our sins. - - -- - - -How can we ever repay, except to be thankful.
    To be full of thanks.............................We are just so full of gratitude...........yhat we can't even express it......
    How could such a one as You bleed and die for such the like as we?????
    We have no answers,.........only You do.
    And we thank You Lord; that You can restore us to that perfect state........that we had when we were children..........
    Because we are children, again.
    Because You loved us, .............and bought us back again!. - - - - - - - - (With Your redeeming blood)
    And now we can begin again, as children ...........under the covering of Your magnificent protective wing.

    Thank You Jesus; that You can restore us again to innocent children;...........even from our darkest and most seemingly unforgivable sins.
    I seal it for my sister in Your most Holy and Precious Name."
    Shaije, Jackson1980 and tiger27 like this.

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    Lightbulb Re: Separated wife, battling gay desires

    Quote Originally Posted by tiger27 View Post
    I'm seeking answers from Godly people in order to get my life back on track with the Lord; as a sheep who has strayed, I hear my Master calling me back.
    I'm not good with answers or advice, so I'll just give you some scriptures and a song.

    Casting Crowns - East to West - YouTube

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WyoVJfADlwo

    Isaiah 1:18
    “Come now, and let us reason together,” Says the LORD, “Though your sins are like scarlet, They shall be as white as snow; Though they are red like crimson, They shall be as wool.

    You're in my prayers.

    You are not worthless, God loves you enough to call you home to Him. Remember He leads us step by step if we are willing to follow Him and be guided by His Holy Spirit.

    If we stumble we can call out to God and if we feel that we lack love, reach out to God in prayer and Listen. His love is overflowing and never ending. May you feel His peace and joy again in your life.

    Too often the world disappoints us, but it reminds us that we are strangers in this land on our way Home.
    Shaije and tiger27 like this.
    Don't take my word for it. Search Scriptures for yourself!

    Acts 17:11 Now the Berean Jews were of more noble character than those in Thessalonica, for they received the message with great eagerness and examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true.

  13. #13
    Senior Member Ugly's Avatar
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    Default Re: Separated wife, battling gay desires

    You also, spiritually, need to deal with your divorce. From a bible standpoint you had no grounds. This could be part of your depression, your spirit knowing the wrongness of that decision.
    Give me a new voice
    Give me a heart for repentance and make it stay
    Cause I've idolized my words
    It's all my fault
    But it's comfortable
    ~Poured Out, Rival Choir~

  14. #14
    tiger27
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    Smile Re: Separated wife, battling gay desires

    Quote Originally Posted by JoeKM View Post
    I understand, sorry then for my wrong assumption. I pray you find great believers here who will comfort and encourage you. Bless you and may The Lord direct all of your ways.
    That's ok Joe, I understand that is a common reason why women turn gay. Thank you for your words of encouragement

  15. #15
    tiger27
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    Default Re: Separated wife, battling gay desires

    Quote Originally Posted by Ariel82 View Post
    I'm not good with answers or advice, so I'll just give you some scriptures and a song.

    Casting Crowns - East to West - YouTube

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WyoVJfADlwo

    Isaiah 1:18
    “Come now, and let us reason together,” Says the LORD, “Though your sins are like scarlet, They shall be as white as snow; Though they are red like crimson, They shall be as wool.

    You're in my prayers.

    You are not worthless, God loves you enough to call you home to Him. Remember He leads us step by step if we are willing to follow Him and be guided by His Holy Spirit.

    If we stumble we can call out to God and if we feel that we lack love, reach out to God in prayer and Listen. His love is overflowing and never ending. May you feel His peace and joy again in your life.

    Too often the world disappoints us, but it reminds us that we are strangers in this land on our way Home.

    Thank you, this song really touched my heart & the tears rolled down! <3

  16. #16
    tiger27
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    Default Re: Separated wife, battling gay desires

    Quote Originally Posted by Ugly View Post
    You also, spiritually, need to deal with your divorce. From a bible standpoint you had no grounds. This could be part of your depression, your spirit knowing the wrongness of that decision.

    Firstly, I am not yet divorced. Second, the above happened AFTER we separated, physically & spiritually, & were no longer together .. My divorce & this issue are 2 totally separate matters & my divorce is NOT an issue. My ex-husband & I have already cut the spiritual ties with our marriage .. God knows what our situation was.

  17. #17
    tiger27
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    Default Re: Separated wife, battling gay desires

    Thank you to everyone for your encouraging words of support & prayers .. I have felt a little different all day, so all your prayers must be doing something allright! .. I know I have a long road ahead of me in many ways, but I've accepted that I can do nothing without our Lord.

  18. #18
    tiger27
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    Default Re: Separated wife, battling gay desires

    [quote=RickShafer;799675]Tiger27 -
    Please disregard the appalling advice you got above from halfevil333, this was his first day on the blog and he's already been banned.
    So please, don't take anything he said seriously.
    I don't pretend to understand your situation.


    Thank you for your words of support, I've just absorbed every word you said. There is only one answer to my problem & that is God.

  19. #19
    destiny
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    Default Re: Separated wife, battling gay desires

    "If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." (1 John 1:8-9).

    "My little children, these things write I unto you, that ye sin not. And if any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous: And he is the propitiation for our sins: and not for ours only, but also for the sins of the whole world." (1 John 2:1-2).

    U a welcome
    tiger27 likes this.

  20. #20
    Senior Member onlinebuddy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Separated wife, battling gay desires

    Quote Originally Posted by tiger27 View Post
    Appalling? Pity? I'm not asking for anyone's pity, far from it. I'm seeking answers from Godly people in order to get my life back on track with the Lord; as a sheep who has strayed, I hear my Master calling me back.
    I reacted similar to you when I read the words "appalling" and "pity." I agree that those words are out of place. I hope the writer did not intend to mean those words.

    In India, English is not our first language, and the person may not have understood the meaning of the words he was using. I'm just guessing that it was a superfluous use of words. I am not defending him.

    If your situation is appalling, everyone else's situation is appalling too. If you are to be pitied, all of us are to be pitied as well. All of us have fallen short and missed the mark and were dirty and messed up. I write this as a person who stands in need of His grace daily.

    You had the courage to come clean on this forum. God will certainly forgive you as your heart is sensitive to the Holy Spirit.

    Prayers.


    Romans 5 (NIV)
    6You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly.

    Mark 2 (NIV)
    17On hearing this, Jesus said to them, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners."
    Jackson1980 and tiger27 like this.

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