Suicide is never the answer, it leaves all those left behind with an intense grief and with so many unanswered questions.
I personally see suicide as murder, it is murder of oneself.
Sadly we live in a fallen world and we are fallen people who with/in Christ are being made whole so sadly pain is a part of life. The word says God will not give us more than we can bear to carry, so as believers lets lift our worries, concerns and pain to Him as our Dear loving Father loves us more than we will ever be able to comphrend and wants to bless us greatly especially when we allow Him to led.
God loves you He longs to carry your pain, wipe away every tear and shelter you in the shadows of his wings. Rest there with God he will restore you.
In our weakness God is strong, let Him be your strenght and carry you through this storm my dear sister.
Blessings, prayer and love being sent your way.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Roman 8:28