HI I am a 68 year old grandmother and sole provider for 5 kids I raised and supported. With GOd's guidance and protection, of course. GOD is the answer but is there anything else that you could tell me that might help me help you. Life of the party, sounds like you are young. Lights of the party also seems like you are getting high from the party lights and not dealing with what may be bothering you. Do not mean to get into your privacy but anything little you could tell me would help. GOD truly is the answer but I feel you need some more specifics.