Seeking God in the dark

So I've really been questioning why I am still a christian lately.
I often struggle to see the relevance of God to my life.
I find myself saying to God, how can I be a home cell leader,
I don't even know what reason I would give a non-believer for following God.
Can I promise the that God will help them in everything they endure or can I only say
"Oh well, one day you will get to heaven and everything will be fine"But what about now?

Please understand, as strange as it may seem from reading the preceeding paragraph, I still love God.
It just seems that God and christianity it so out of touch wil reality some times.

I'm not trying to infect you all with my negativity though, Oh contrar,
I was hoping you could infect me with some of the good stuff you have and...

Help me on my quest of seeking and knowing God again.

Iv been in your shoes before. There could be several things that are making you feel this way. One thing could be Satan, the harder you chase after God, the harder Satan is going to attack you and the battlefield is your mind. He will put doubts in your head and whisper lies to you that sound like truth; you have to learn to recognize his attacks. Sometimes when I feel as you do I ask myself some general quesions like, "Am I not finding joy in my walk w/ Christ b/c I havent really given Him my whole life?", "Is there something that God wants me to do that I'm not doing?" "Am I truly letting God be the Lord of my life and heart?"

Pray about it persistantly, ask God to renew the joy of your salvation, and keep seeking His will for your life. Feel free to message me if you need anything =]

I suggest you pray to God and ask him to lead you in the right direction, pray he will open doors for you and allow you to see the light.
You struggle to see the relevance of keeping God in your life : God will award you in the end for any suffering that u will endure on this Earth. At the moment everythjing is a test, in the end- if you pass you are rewarded.
To a non beliver - tell them that the son fo a God has come down to earth to die for you, the least they could do is say sorry for being the ones that made him take that journey, to say thanks. God will reawrd you for keeping strong.
God will bless you and them , and if you help someone to belcome a beliver, their family will be sancified, God will be keeping his hand over that person. Thats why God is called the Good Shepard, once he has sheep, he looks after them.

I hope I have helped - if not sorry for making you read all that :S
Stay Strong and May God Bless you Greatly
Kathleen x

P.S Sorry bout the spelling :S

Hey Daddycat
You know John 10.10 where it speaks about an abunmdent life,
surely this cannot only refer to the next life.
If so, where is it? Why don't we have it?
Christians suffer terribly and die just like everyone else.

Nevertheless, I am quite pleased to see that you still have a sense of humour (looking your picture and name)

Start falling in love with Jesus all over again. I myself had begun waning in my faith. Begin with reading the Gospel of John, let his majesty wow you and slowly stir you to life. Step by step begin to draw near to him, let him warm your heart.

John 17:3-
And this is eternal life, that they know you the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent.

Life does not begin in heaven, it begins now, getting to know Christ and the father.

I remember hearing a sermon, and this line sticks in my mind. "We are empty for the opposite reason Christ never was."

The day you believed upon Jesus Christ and were saved by grace, did you know that God did some 65 things to you and for you instantly, that can not be taken from you and will never change? Do you know what they are? You could study one of them each day for the next two months and get to know what Christ did for you through His death, burial, resurrection and ascension. There are over 7,800 promises in the word of God for the believer that are all yea and amen / 2Cor 1:20. Do you know any of those promises? Well you better get started, because if you want to be a partaker of God's divine nature you do it through knowing and believing the promises of God / 2Pt 1:4. If you learned 5 of these promises every day it would take you a little over 4 years to do it.

Dig in to the word of God and let these things that God has done for you through grace and the promises He has provided, ground you in truth and dwell richly in your heart / Col 3:16. If you need help doing this you should pray about going to a Bible School that will train you up in the words of righteousness (God's word) and where you can see and be a part of believers putting the word of God in action. God is for you and wants you to be saturated with grace and truth to build you up and reveal in your heart. GO FOR IT!