I'm new here and need some Godly advice.

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Sweetestberry

Guest
#1
I really need some advice from some fellow Christians. My husband and I had a huge fight in which he took some money back that he had given me. We have somewhat made up but he never gave it back. It's not all about the money. He gave me the money saying he wanted me to have it for some new clothes because he loved me and wanted to spoil me and now I guess he feels I don't deserve it. I don't know how to approach it. I just know I am super upset. I am trying really hard not to make any inner vows in this regard.
 
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sunnysky31

Guest
#2
I really need some advice from some fellow Christians. My husband and I had a huge fight in which he took some money back that he had given me. We have somewhat made up but he never gave it back. It's not all about the money. He gave me the money saying he wanted me to have it for some new clothes because he loved me and wanted to spoil me and now I guess he feels I don't deserve it. I don't know how to approach it. I just know I am super upset. I am trying really hard not to make any inner vows in this regard.
I am confused as to what exactly you are seeking advice for(?) It would be hard for me to give you advice because there really is not enough information given here. Do you care to share more about this situation?

~Sunny~
 
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Ugly

Guest
#3
Have you tried just going to him and telling him how his actions make you feel? Asking him why he is withholding his love from you (which is essentially what he's doing)? First piece of advice in marriage is 'go tell them how you feel'. Do it without accusation or attack. Just inform them and tell them how you are interpreting their actions. Until you've done that there is no other advice to give because you haven't done the most important first step.
 

DeRicco

Senior Member
Jan 7, 2014
351
0
0
#4
First of all, welcome to Christian Chat and happy to have you here. It is all about being able to sit down calmly and talk out your differences without malice. No heated arguments, as that gets you nowhere. If, after explaining how his actions have hurt you, he doesn't understand, then it would be time to reflect on the situation, pray to God for guidance and for your husband to understand. What he did sounds really hateful to me. A question also would be is this the first time this has happened. If this is a habitual thing, maybe a rethink of your relationship is in order. Be blessed and pray always about such things.
 
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Sweetestberry

Guest
#5
The reason the fight started in the first place was because I was trying to tell him how something he was doing was making me feel and he just flipped out. Always happens the same way. If I am ugly about it the end result is the same as if I try to just inform him of how I feel. He's a good man but he is also the meanest man I have ever encountered when he gets mad. He says anything he can think of to tear me down. This time he not only tore me down but also treated me like a child and took something from me that he had given me. Every kind act is held over my head as soon as I speak up for myself. I'm actually sort of afraid to ask about it. Not sure what it might turn into. I also know if I say nothing I will begin to let the devil have a foothold. Just kind of feeling beaten. Thanks for the advice and the welcome.
 
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valtafjoe

Guest
#6
Its kind of hard for me to give you any advice because you have not exactly given enough information i.e what the fight was about. Did you actually manage to tell him about how you felt? If it is always happening how did you solve it on previous occasions?
 
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sunnysky31

Guest
#7
The reason the fight started in the first place was because I was trying to tell him how something he was doing was making me feel and he just flipped out. Always happens the same way. If I am ugly about it the end result is the same as if I try to just inform him of how I feel. He's a good man but he is also the meanest man I have ever encountered when he gets mad. He says anything he can think of to tear me down. This time he not only tore me down but also treated me like a child and took something from me that he had given me. Every kind act is held over my head as soon as I speak up for myself. I'm actually sort of afraid to ask about it. Not sure what it might turn into. I also know if I say nothing I will begin to let the devil have a foothold. Just kind of feeling beaten. Thanks for the advice and the welcome.
Thank you for sharing a little more and feeling comfortable enough to do so. It sounds like you have been attempting to go to him and talk to him but it isn't working. Have you thought about marriage counseling. I do not mean any counselor, I mean a GODLY CHRISTIAN counselor that can REALLY give you the advice you are searching for. Definitely a good thing to look into. Maybe look into that and go alone to find a good one before presenting this idea to your hubby.

I will pray for you. I know that marriage is hard and takes two to make it work. (I haven't always been single). If you need an ear then my inbox is open.

God Bless

~Sunny~