G
I am a former member of a church that had a huge reputation at one time, the Worldwide Church of God. I was raised in an abusive home where my religious zealot mother beat and mentally abused her kids so badly that two of us nearly opted for suicide, one became an alcoholic and disappeared and I just reunited, I think, with one who has been through years of therapy getting the cult mental control and damage our mother caused out of his mind enough to function.
From my earliest age we were made to shun people outside the church because we were supposedly the chosen ones of God and while mother put on her good behavior in church, she swore like a sailor and locked kids in their rooms, lectured with ranting tyrades for hours and used us boys in place of the husbands she could not keep. She destroyed my birth certificate and falsified my name which caused me legal trouble later in life. The church themselves indoctrinated us with the standard beliefs, rock music was sinful, guitars and drums were of the devil, and we had to avoid outside social contact. They did not allow dancing, girls were to wear dresses, boys had to have their hair cut short and a massive volume of other beliefs. I was taught that damnation would follow if I did not keep sabaths and pay my tithes. When I was too poor to eat and had no car or home the knowledge of my damnation only made it worse.
I sought baptism and was refused three times because I was not deemed worthy and was also supposedly less qualified than the pastor's wife to play music or sing in church. But the big one came when the pastor general Herb Armstrong died and the church turned on its head. After he died they began to change all of their beliefs and suddenly we were confronted with opposite the teachings we once had. I was twenty six and because I was the church poor kid and oddball the girls refused to date me so I went outside the church. My mother exploded in anger that I should have a girl in my lif e and kicked me out of the house and her life that same week. I found out later that her relationship with me had bnot been normal, that she had made surrogate husbands of her son and that we had not moved out, but in her mind we had broken up. She retaliated. I went through major depression and almost committed suicide. She disowned me two years later and told me she never wanted to speak to me again and that I was a curse, was taken by Satan and that I was the worst mistake she ever made. Oddly enough I had been at her baptism and supposed taking on of the "holy spirit".
For some time I sampled other churches and began to find out many things that really blew me away. For one thing the churches all claimed that they worshipped the same God and yet they picked and chose those things they respected in the bible. The Sabbath day, as kept by Jesus, was changed "by the jews" to the day of roman sun worship and the day of the honoring of Ishtar became the holiday of Easter. A worship day inaugurated by Nimrod became the day used to honor Jesus with a tree and gifts, and while God condemned homosexual behavior in scripture and destroyed two cities over it, Christians were openly gay and had gay pride rallies (?????????). I experienced Christians who used Ouija boards and tarot cards while the bible condemned dabbling in dark spirituality and mediumship.
I am a Gothic person, meaning I dress in black largely and I wear jewelry including chokers and a top hat. I do these things because I like to. I am not in mourning for this world, this planet is the planet man made by his decisions do act the way he does. I make music and am working on getting into film. I am not a mournful or depressed person and all churches I visited except one accepted me fine. Only one man condemned me based on appearance, and everything he said about me was wrong.
I have never seen a miracle or answered prayer and have no reason to believe they exist. I cannot comprehend a God who would burn people in an searing volcanic heat for an eternity especially when the book of revelation speaks of something entirely different. Either there are two resurrections, or the bible contradicts itself.
I don't get answers from Christians, instead I mainly get argued with and banned from their web sites. The last time was when Kenneth Brumbaugh, a pastor, asserted that all rock music was inspired by Satan and electric guitars were invented by satanic men. He condemned me for playing them and making rock music. My proof that he was wrong got me ridiculed and banned from his site.
I have long wished that my views could be proved wrong, that Christianity was for real and not the invention of man, but no amount of respect or asking questions gets me anywhere.
At this point I consider myself an agnostic/deist. I believe a higher engineer must have designed what we see around us but it is evident to me that most religion is useful for controlling people and making big profits more than anything.
These are just my views. This is me. I have many questions but no one is much on discussing anything, they generally want echoes of their own beliefs.
I understand others may not agree and that is fine.
Regards. Gene
From my earliest age we were made to shun people outside the church because we were supposedly the chosen ones of God and while mother put on her good behavior in church, she swore like a sailor and locked kids in their rooms, lectured with ranting tyrades for hours and used us boys in place of the husbands she could not keep. She destroyed my birth certificate and falsified my name which caused me legal trouble later in life. The church themselves indoctrinated us with the standard beliefs, rock music was sinful, guitars and drums were of the devil, and we had to avoid outside social contact. They did not allow dancing, girls were to wear dresses, boys had to have their hair cut short and a massive volume of other beliefs. I was taught that damnation would follow if I did not keep sabaths and pay my tithes. When I was too poor to eat and had no car or home the knowledge of my damnation only made it worse.
I sought baptism and was refused three times because I was not deemed worthy and was also supposedly less qualified than the pastor's wife to play music or sing in church. But the big one came when the pastor general Herb Armstrong died and the church turned on its head. After he died they began to change all of their beliefs and suddenly we were confronted with opposite the teachings we once had. I was twenty six and because I was the church poor kid and oddball the girls refused to date me so I went outside the church. My mother exploded in anger that I should have a girl in my lif e and kicked me out of the house and her life that same week. I found out later that her relationship with me had bnot been normal, that she had made surrogate husbands of her son and that we had not moved out, but in her mind we had broken up. She retaliated. I went through major depression and almost committed suicide. She disowned me two years later and told me she never wanted to speak to me again and that I was a curse, was taken by Satan and that I was the worst mistake she ever made. Oddly enough I had been at her baptism and supposed taking on of the "holy spirit".
For some time I sampled other churches and began to find out many things that really blew me away. For one thing the churches all claimed that they worshipped the same God and yet they picked and chose those things they respected in the bible. The Sabbath day, as kept by Jesus, was changed "by the jews" to the day of roman sun worship and the day of the honoring of Ishtar became the holiday of Easter. A worship day inaugurated by Nimrod became the day used to honor Jesus with a tree and gifts, and while God condemned homosexual behavior in scripture and destroyed two cities over it, Christians were openly gay and had gay pride rallies (?????????). I experienced Christians who used Ouija boards and tarot cards while the bible condemned dabbling in dark spirituality and mediumship.
I am a Gothic person, meaning I dress in black largely and I wear jewelry including chokers and a top hat. I do these things because I like to. I am not in mourning for this world, this planet is the planet man made by his decisions do act the way he does. I make music and am working on getting into film. I am not a mournful or depressed person and all churches I visited except one accepted me fine. Only one man condemned me based on appearance, and everything he said about me was wrong.
I have never seen a miracle or answered prayer and have no reason to believe they exist. I cannot comprehend a God who would burn people in an searing volcanic heat for an eternity especially when the book of revelation speaks of something entirely different. Either there are two resurrections, or the bible contradicts itself.
I don't get answers from Christians, instead I mainly get argued with and banned from their web sites. The last time was when Kenneth Brumbaugh, a pastor, asserted that all rock music was inspired by Satan and electric guitars were invented by satanic men. He condemned me for playing them and making rock music. My proof that he was wrong got me ridiculed and banned from his site.
I have long wished that my views could be proved wrong, that Christianity was for real and not the invention of man, but no amount of respect or asking questions gets me anywhere.
At this point I consider myself an agnostic/deist. I believe a higher engineer must have designed what we see around us but it is evident to me that most religion is useful for controlling people and making big profits more than anything.
These are just my views. This is me. I have many questions but no one is much on discussing anything, they generally want echoes of their own beliefs.
I understand others may not agree and that is fine.
Regards. Gene
