W
Hello my name is Henry. I was in a relationship with a beautiful woman in every way but I hurt so much throughout the entire relationship, ten months. She knew that I had a problem and stayed with me embracing my mind wanting me to get better. I didn't. She eventually got tired and gave up. She is so fragile so pure and I thought I was right. I seriously have come to hate myself. I seeked the help of a psychologist to try to understand myself better. She did ask me to look for a psychologist when we were together but I refused, I regret it dearly. I have seeked a psychologist but I still have those thoughts inside of me. I know that I have derailed myself from Jesus. Her parents are Christians she is a Christian. She told me that I have been cursed. She broke up with me on April. It was terrible it is terrible. She sent me an email on July. We emailed each other for about four months. I asked her to get back together that I miss her and love just her. She said no. Then I got the help of a pshycologist. I told her about it and told her my progress. On Friday she agreed to chat with me and again I asked stupid questions. Instead of embracing her and making her feel happy and showing that I care I asked once again stupid questions, like interrogating her. This is what I did before, psychology has not helped. I have come to understand myself better but still I don't have peace, I don't know how to show love don't know how to love. Her agreeing to chat with me was the opportunity that I was hoping for but I messed it up!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The next day she emailed me saying that she will never believe in me again, she has belived and forgiven me for so long. She moved away from a place she felt comfortable in she got in debt she did everything to show me that she loved me and I couldn't believe I was stupid. I think I am cursed. She told me yesterday saying that she hopes I find Jesus. That struck me. I have derailed myself from Jesus and have allowed evil to enter my body. I welcome Jesus into my heart. I love Jesus I love God I lover Her. I treated her terribly and that hunts me because she is such a wonderful soul. I made her cry I made her...!!! I hate myself. I want her to be happy wish the best for her. I want to be next to her loving her making her feel special, making her laugh. It's been seven months that I have thought of her everyday feeling terrible inside. I f#@$# had the opportunity to show her and I failed again!!!! I am looking for Jesus, I need peace, I need her I want to make her happy
