Dear Gary, I am 45 years old and have been in church my whole life and just now starting to understand what this verse is actually saying. It states all things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose. Our idea of what good means and God's idea of what good means are usually 2 completely different things. God is not interested in our comfort as much as He is interested in our character. Joseph was thrown in a pit by his brothers, sold into slavery, then thrown in prison for years for doing the right thing. He continued to trust God through all of this and ultimately God used all these circumstances to have him be second in power to Pharoah and save an entire nation from starving to death.
I also think that we confuse happiness and joy. Only God can give us joy which to me is peace despite our circumstances. Happiness is always dependent on mood and situation. Due to my melancholy personality I could never seem to have joy or trust God in all my circumstances. Emotions and people and life always got in the way because they are constantly changing. Then I realized my problem. I was not making God my primary source of purpose, direction and self-esteem. He was a part but my spouse, Pastor and others were my primary source. God has to be your primary source and all others are compared against His. His direction, purpose and perfect love for you never change so as long as you follow His leading you can know it will always be for your ultimate good and you can find joy and peace in this. Also, you can know that no matter what others think of you the Creator of the universe made you and loves you the same at all times no matter whether you fail or succeed.
