Drifted from god

All I have is hate and anger sad and down.
2021 was a horrible year for me that's when this all started.
My ex left me a year ago and has moved onto somebody else, His mother died to cancer who I miss talking too,my own mother I feel is narcissist, I have nobody backing me for support my sister and brother don't believe me,I am abused constantly by them on top of it all.Also questioning that my ex was aswell.but also i am in a battle within myself...Constantly going back and fourth asking am I the problem am I a narcissist...Also got diagnosed with graves disease and hyperthyroidism.

I am dealing with ALOT of emotional abuse!!! AND stress...
I just want to be free!! PLEASE PRAY FOR ME

"I can only hope and pray that you may find some support and encouragement
within these pages.
-Life has many challenges, proclaimed Christian or not, life is not meant to be easy.
I have learned the importance of accepting things I cannot change, and to know the
things I can change, and that being myself.
-It is important to honestly confront our own personal wellbeing and strive to achieve
our own peace and wellbeing, and most likely this requires a willingness to change.
To harbor resentment and anger will never allow the opportunity to know of peace or
a wellbeing, they are not compatibly.
-Over the years I have found the Serenity Prayer to be a powerful antidote. Taken seriously
each day and repeated with conviction, it can and will bring about a change...believe it.
-I pray you find what is needed in your life."
'Amen'

Philippians 4:19

Sister, are you fighting with yourself and your circumstances... or are you really fighting against God?

In my 20's, despite being raised in a Christian home, bitter against God for things He had allowed in my life, I turned my back on everything related to religion and faith. I began to live a completely godless life. I never thought about God if I could help it. I was done with Him... and I thought He was done with me.

Life was good for a while. But then little things started going wrong. Then bigger things. Then serious things. I didn't want to notice, but I knew God was trying to get my attention. My health began to fail for unknown reasons. I was in the hospital twice in one year, once for what I thought was a heart attack even though I'm pretty young. I began getting so regularly sick that I could no longer work. But I still didn't want to yield to God's pull in my life.

For six months I was completely alone, except for the doctor visits trying to figure out what was wrong with me. Everything was falling apart around me. Finally two days before Thanksgiving, God struck me with an infection so painful that I could barely walk. Alone on a hospital bed, I finally acknowledged my wickedness for rejecting God and begged Jesus Christ to have mercy on me.

In that moment I felt complete peace, a peace I had desperately pursued for a long time but never found. I became a Christian and nothing has been the same since.

I'll be honest, there have been very hard and painful years since then. But I know I am a child of God now, and no one can take that away from me.

May God shine the light of Jesus Christ on your life, too, sister.

God bless! <3

Hey Kait
It will get better... I can relate to many of the things you have said, but God is our ever present help in time of trouble... He really loves you. Cast your cares on Him for He cares for you. These are difficult times we are in and last year was very hard for many people. There is so much that Jesus said to help us, really powerful stuff. We’ve got to keep looking to Him, trusting Him, loving Him.
He knows all about it, and it’s not too difficult for Him to deal with, just tell Him whatever you want, go and cry to Him, or just quietly leave it all in His hands and don’t focus on the problems.
Remember when Peter walked on water to Jesus? And he started to sink when he looked at the rough waters, but when he looked to Jesus he walked on water!! That is how we must remind each other to be when the storms of life are rough. We must always keep our eyes on Him. He works all things together for the good of those who love Him, even the bad stuff He can work out for good, that’s how awesome He is, and even more so. He is able to do so much more than we ask or think. He will never leave you. And when you have worked through these problems with Him, you will have so much experience to enable you to help others and comfort them. One day you will have such a reward that it will have been so worth it. I know it doesn’t feel like that when you have trials, and this is why we must trust Him when we don’t understand and when things are difficult.
I have had problems for years with thyroid and I look on Pinterest and online for foods that help and foods that make it worse. I avoid sugar for example. Drinking a lot of tea stops the thyroid working. I’ve seen help for Graves’ disease on Pinterest and I hope it’s a help to you.
A very important thing, most important, is that you spend time with the Lord and release all the hate, hurt, any bitterness which I know can feel impossible to do sometimes. However, if you be real honest with God, and tell Him you are so hurt and confused about everything that’s happened, then hand it all over to Him and trust Him with it all, this is how you will be able to let go of it all and forgive; otherwise it can hinder your relationship with God, it can even make you sick. God does not want this burden on you. He loves you.
Let me know if I can be any help.
Lots of love xx🦋

Thank you all for your replies.I know what you all are saying.I will try and I took those words to heart.

Well done Kait for having a good attitude- if you can look up the words Jesus said either online or in a Bible, I’m sure He will speak to your heart and it will help you.
Lots of love and blessings to you in Jesus xxx