All is wicked-- help me.

If I were to die right now, I would go to hell

Truly, all is wicked-- all but from God.

This is going to be my long-winded rant, if you take the time to read this, please give me advice and prayer.


I am struggling. Like seriously struggling. I have realized that everything I do and that everything I set my heart on is wicked. How can this not be true? Because if anything I do and anything I set my heart on is apart from God, than it is wicked, surely.

I've realized that I am not a Christian, or if I am than a lousy one at that. Although I do love God, for He is the most amazing, loving, and perfect thing in all of existence, my logical-self keeps telling me that I don't. If I did love God, why then do I still live like I do not love Him? Equally, if you were to look at my life, it is not the life of a Christian. I am all talk, no action.

I know my problems. I clearly have Idols in my life, I clearly don't have my priorities straight, I clearly have a hard heart, and clearly I love living in my sin. I am so wicked. I repeat the same sin and I feel no guilt. This scares me. It really does. If I were to die right now, I would go to hell and I would be apart from God. I don't want to hear it, but I think I would be absolutely hopeless if I were to lie to myself. I cannot break away from my sin, because I am a slave to it. I can't serve two masters. The only way I can be saved is by God, and only by God.

I cannot recall what exactly, whether it was a sermon I heard or a verse, but it was something along the lines of; "Come to Me leaving everything or do not come at all." How? How can I do this when every part of me does not want to do it? My flesh will die, but it is my flesh that governs my life. I've been losing in the war between the flesh and the spirit. I feed one and not the other. But what happens when the flesh has grown too large? What can I do, when I won't do anything? Who am I to defy what my flesh is? Oh how wicked I am, oh how wicked. There is simply nothing I can do. Only God can save me.

What now? I pray every night that God would change my wicked heart, that I would repent. More often than not, I pray that I would want to pray this. Because most times I don't even mean it, I think.

I don't know how to give it all up. I am not strong enough to give it all up. I am an evil person. I am looking for wisdom on this.

Truly, all is wicked-- all but from God.

This is going to be my long-winded rant, if you take the time to read this, please give me advice and prayer.


I am struggling. Like seriously struggling. I have realized that everything I do and that everything I set my heart on is wicked. How can this not be true? Because if anything I do and anything I set my heart on is apart from God, than it is wicked, surely.

I've realized that I am not a Christian, or if I am than a lousy one at that. Although I do love God, for He is the most amazing, loving, and perfect thing in all of existence, my logical-self keeps telling me that I don't. If I did love God, why then do I still live like I do not love Him? Equally, if you were to look at my life, it is not the life of a Christian. I am all talk, no action.

I know my problems. I clearly have Idols in my life, I clearly don't have my priorities straight, I clearly have a hard heart, and clearly I love living in my sin. I am so wicked. I repeat the same sin and I feel no guilt. This scares me. It really does. If I were to die right now, I would go to hell and I would be apart from God. I don't want to hear it, but I think I would be absolutely hopeless if I were to lie to myself. I cannot break away from my sin, because I am a slave to it. I can't serve two masters. The only way I can be saved is by God, and only by God.

I cannot recall what exactly, whether it was a sermon I heard or a verse, but it was something along the lines of; "Come to Me leaving everything or do not come at all." How? How can I do this when every part of me does not want to do it? My flesh will die, but it is my flesh that governs my life. I've been losing in the war between the flesh and the spirit. I feed one and not the other. But what happens when the flesh has grown too large? What can I do, when I won't do anything? Who am I to defy what my flesh is? Oh how wicked I am, oh how wicked. There is simply nothing I can do. Only God can save me.

What now? I pray every night that God would change my wicked heart, that I would repent. More often than not, I pray that I would want to pray this. Because most times I don't even mean it, I think.

I don't know how to give it all up. I am not strong enough to give it all up. I am an evil person. I am looking for wisdom on this.

Do you know that most Christians experience to varying degrees exactly what you have described?

Important question.
What do you think makes someone a Christian?

A bit of what you said reminded me of a passage from Romans 7 where Paul went on a similar rant about his struggles with sin. Perhaps you can draw wisdom and guidance from this as Paul not only addresses the problem common to all Christians, but also the solution.

Romans 7:14-25 NASB
14For we know that the Law is spiritual, but I am fleshly, sold into bondage to sin. 15For I do not understand what I am doing; for I am not practicing what I want to do, but I do the very thing I hate. 16However, if I do the very thing I do not want to do, I agree with the Law, that the Law is good. 17But now, no longer am I the one doing it, but sin that dwells in me. 18For I know that good does not dwell in me, that is, in my flesh; for the willing is present in me, but the doing of the good is not. 19For the good that I want, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want. 20But if I do the very thing I do not want, I am no longer the one doing it, but sin that dwells in me.

21I find then the principle that evil is present in me, the one who wants to do good. 22For I joyfully agree with the law of God in the inner person, 23but I see a different law in the parts of my body waging war against the law of my mind, and making me a prisoner of the law of sin, the law which is in my body’s parts. 24Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death? 25Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, on the one hand I myself with my mind am serving the law of God, but on the other, with my flesh the law of sin.


And for your benefit I recommended you keep reading from onward from there, meditate on it, pray about it. I will say a prayer for you.

Truly, all is wicked-- all but from God.

This is going to be my long-winded rant, if you take the time to read this, please give me advice and prayer.


I am struggling. Like seriously struggling. I have realized that everything I do and that everything I set my heart on is wicked. How can this not be true? Because if anything I do and anything I set my heart on is apart from God, than it is wicked, surely.

I've realized that I am not a Christian, or if I am than a lousy one at that. Although I do love God, for He is the most amazing, loving, and perfect thing in all of existence, my logical-self keeps telling me that I don't. If I did love God, why then do I still live like I do not love Him? Equally, if you were to look at my life, it is not the life of a Christian. I am all talk, no action.

I know my problems. I clearly have Idols in my life, I clearly don't have my priorities straight, I clearly have a hard heart, and clearly I love living in my sin. I am so wicked. I repeat the same sin and I feel no guilt. This scares me. It really does. If I were to die right now, I would go to hell and I would be apart from God. I don't want to hear it, but I think I would be absolutely hopeless if I were to lie to myself. I cannot break away from my sin, because I am a slave to it. I can't serve two masters. The only way I can be saved is by God, and only by God.

I cannot recall what exactly, whether it was a sermon I heard or a verse, but it was something along the lines of; "Come to Me leaving everything or do not come at all." How? How can I do this when every part of me does not want to do it? My flesh will die, but it is my flesh that governs my life. I've been losing in the war between the flesh and the spirit. I feed one and not the other. But what happens when the flesh has grown too large? What can I do, when I won't do anything? Who am I to defy what my flesh is? Oh how wicked I am, oh how wicked. There is simply nothing I can do. Only God can save me.

What now? I pray every night that God would change my wicked heart, that I would repent. More often than not, I pray that I would want to pray this. Because most times I don't even mean it, I think.

I don't know how to give it all up. I am not strong enough to give it all up. I am an evil person. I am looking for wisdom on this.

Simply believing that God has died for your sins, and that you repent from them.

I know this, but the problem is, do I really believe that then? If I truly believed that I wouldn't be living this kind of life.

It seems a lack of faith. Faith is trusting and believing something without evidence of its truth...

...It seems you're taking a religious, works oriented view of things.

I know you are right, I lack faith. Ultimately that's what it boils down to.

I believe that works are a direct reflection of your beliefs.
I didn't mean that works will get you into heaven, that is definitely not Biblical.

I think one day you will completely hate and be tired of your evil deeds and become a true Christian.

I think one day you will get tired of those bad behaviors and really live to faith.

Truly, all is wicked-- all but from God.

This is going to be my long-winded rant, if you take the time to read this, please give me advice and prayer.


I am struggling. Like seriously struggling. I have realized that everything I do and that everything I set my heart on is wicked. How can this not be true? Because if anything I do and anything I set my heart on is apart from God, than it is wicked, surely.

I've realized that I am not a Christian, or if I am than a lousy one at that. Although I do love God, for He is the most amazing, loving, and perfect thing in all of existence, my logical-self keeps telling me that I don't. If I did love God, why then do I still live like I do not love Him? Equally, if you were to look at my life, it is not the life of a Christian. I am all talk, no action.

I know my problems. I clearly have Idols in my life, I clearly don't have my priorities straight, I clearly have a hard heart, and clearly I love living in my sin. I am so wicked. I repeat the same sin and I feel no guilt. This scares me. It really does. If I were to die right now, I would go to hell and I would be apart from God. I don't want to hear it, but I think I would be absolutely hopeless if I were to lie to myself. I cannot break away from my sin, because I am a slave to it. I can't serve two masters. The only way I can be saved is by God, and only by God.

I cannot recall what exactly, whether it was a sermon I heard or a verse, but it was something along the lines of; "Come to Me leaving everything or do not come at all." How? How can I do this when every part of me does not want to do it? My flesh will die, but it is my flesh that governs my life. I've been losing in the war between the flesh and the spirit. I feed one and not the other. But what happens when the flesh has grown too large? What can I do, when I won't do anything? Who am I to defy what my flesh is? Oh how wicked I am, oh how wicked. There is simply nothing I can do. Only God can save me.

What now? I pray every night that God would change my wicked heart, that I would repent. More often than not, I pray that I would want to pray this. Because most times I don't even mean it, I think.

I don't know how to give it all up. I am not strong enough to give it all up. I am an evil person. I am looking for wisdom on this.

Truly, all is wicked-- all but from God.

This is going to be my long-winded rant, if you take the time to read this, please give me advice and prayer.


I am struggling. Like seriously struggling. I have realized that everything I do and that everything I set my heart on is wicked. How can this not be true? Because if anything I do and anything I set my heart on is apart from God, than it is wicked, surely.

I've realized that I am not a Christian, or if I am than a lousy one at that. Although I do love God, for He is the most amazing, loving, and perfect thing in all of existence, my logical-self keeps telling me that I don't. If I did love God, why then do I still live like I do not love Him? Equally, if you were to look at my life, it is not the life of a Christian. I am all talk, no action.

I know my problems. I clearly have Idols in my life, I clearly don't have my priorities straight, I clearly have a hard heart, and clearly I love living in my sin. I am so wicked. I repeat the same sin and I feel no guilt. This scares me. It really does. If I were to die right now, I would go to hell and I would be apart from God. I don't want to hear it, but I think I would be absolutely hopeless if I were to lie to myself. I cannot break away from my sin, because I am a slave to it. I can't serve two masters. The only way I can be saved is by God, and only by God.

I cannot recall what exactly, whether it was a sermon I heard or a verse, but it was something along the lines of; "Come to Me leaving everything or do not come at all." How? How can I do this when every part of me does not want to do it? My flesh will die, but it is my flesh that governs my life. I've been losing in the war between the flesh and the spirit. I feed one and not the other. But what happens when the flesh has grown too large? What can I do, when I won't do anything? Who am I to defy what my flesh is? Oh how wicked I am, oh how wicked. There is simply nothing I can do. Only God can save me.

What now? I pray every night that God would change my wicked heart, that I would repent. More often than not, I pray that I would want to pray this. Because most times I don't even mean it, I think.

I don't know how to give it all up. I am not strong enough to give it all up. I am an evil person. I am looking for wisdom on this.

Truly, all is wicked-- all but from God.

This is going to be my long-winded rant, if you take the time to read this, please give me advice and prayer.


I am struggling. Like seriously struggling. I have realized that everything I do and that everything I set my heart on is wicked. How can this not be true? Because if anything I do and anything I set my heart on is apart from God, than it is wicked, surely.

I've realized that I am not a Christian, or if I am than a lousy one at that. Although I do love God, for He is the most amazing, loving, and perfect thing in all of existence, my logical-self keeps telling me that I don't. If I did love God, why then do I still live like I do not love Him? Equally, if you were to look at my life, it is not the life of a Christian. I am all talk, no action.

I know my problems. I clearly have Idols in my life, I clearly don't have my priorities straight, I clearly have a hard heart, and clearly I love living in my sin. I am so wicked. I repeat the same sin and I feel no guilt. This scares me. It really does. If I were to die right now, I would go to hell and I would be apart from God. I don't want to hear it, but I think I would be absolutely hopeless if I were to lie to myself. I cannot break away from my sin, because I am a slave to it. I can't serve two masters. The only way I can be saved is by God, and only by God.

I cannot recall what exactly, whether it was a sermon I heard or a verse, but it was something along the lines of; "Come to Me leaving everything or do not come at all." How? How can I do this when every part of me does not want to do it? My flesh will die, but it is my flesh that governs my life. I've been losing in the war between the flesh and the spirit. I feed one and not the other. But what happens when the flesh has grown too large? What can I do, when I won't do anything? Who am I to defy what my flesh is? Oh how wicked I am, oh how wicked. There is simply nothing I can do. Only God can save me.

What now? I pray every night that God would change my wicked heart, that I would repent. More often than not, I pray that I would want to pray this. Because most times I don't even mean it, I think.

I don't know how to give it all up. I am not strong enough to give it all up. I am an evil person. I am looking for wisdom on this.

Truly, all is wicked-- all but from God.

This is going to be my long-winded rant, if you take the time to read this, please give me advice and prayer.


I am struggling. Like seriously struggling. I have realized that everything I do and that everything I set my heart on is wicked. How can this not be true? Because if anything I do and anything I set my heart on is apart from God, than it is wicked, surely.

I've realized that I am not a Christian, or if I am than a lousy one at that. Although I do love God, for He is the most amazing, loving, and perfect thing in all of existence, my logical-self keeps telling me that I don't. If I did love God, why then do I still live like I do not love Him? Equally, if you were to look at my life, it is not the life of a Christian. I am all talk, no action.

I know my problems. I clearly have Idols in my life, I clearly don't have my priorities straight, I clearly have a hard heart, and clearly I love living in my sin. I am so wicked. I repeat the same sin and I feel no guilt. This scares me. It really does. If I were to die right now, I would go to hell and I would be apart from God. I don't want to hear it, but I think I would be absolutely hopeless if I were to lie to myself. I cannot break away from my sin, because I am a slave to it. I can't serve two masters. The only way I can be saved is by God, and only by God.

I cannot recall what exactly, whether it was a sermon I heard or a verse, but it was something along the lines of; "Come to Me leaving everything or do not come at all." How? How can I do this when every part of me does not want to do it? My flesh will die, but it is my flesh that governs my life. I've been losing in the war between the flesh and the spirit. I feed one and not the other. But what happens when the flesh has grown too large? What can I do, when I won't do anything? Who am I to defy what my flesh is? Oh how wicked I am, oh how wicked. There is simply nothing I can do. Only God can save me.

What now? I pray every night that God would change my wicked heart, that I would repent. More often than not, I pray that I would want to pray this. Because most times I don't even mean it, I think.

I don't know how to give it all up. I am not strong enough to give it all up. I am an evil person. I am looking for wisdom on this.