The Banned Game
- Thread starter LindaE
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A strange thing had happened. After Christmas Day nobody had heard a peep from the Chipmunks for an entire week. It was if they had been banned.
Shortland Street was off the air. It too had been banned. Fans were worried that the animals were taking over the show. It never used to be Veterinary clinic, they complained. It discriminates against humans.
Jacinda Ardern had been banned - she was nowhere to be found either.
Summer Winter Wonderland had been closed down as customers complained that it was too confusing. The Snowmen and sandcastles theme park lay abandoned.
Penguins books had banned Prince Harry's Spare Tyre tome. It had way to much chewing gum stuck to the pages. Chewing gum had also been banned.
The Tip Top Ice cream factory had banned Pineapple Lump icecream after Prince Louis had a severe case of diahrrheoa
The Princess Ruby Cruise ship had been banned from Queen Charlotte Sound and was now returning back to Georgetown. Princess Charlotte had been banned too, for wearing inappopriate footwear on deck.
Mosetarian meatballs were banned as was Rubyland mascara. In fact, all of Rubyland and Mosetaria had been overrun with giant rabbits until the ban came in force to stop feeding them.
That left only Jennymaesia and Lanolinland giant rabbit free. Nobody could get past the Kelp Kurtain, so it seemed, that left Jennymaesia as the undisputed winner of the Banned Game.
The shittimstanians were livid. They demanded a recount.
Shortland Street was off the air. It too had been banned. Fans were worried that the animals were taking over the show. It never used to be Veterinary clinic, they complained. It discriminates against humans.
Jacinda Ardern had been banned - she was nowhere to be found either.
Summer Winter Wonderland had been closed down as customers complained that it was too confusing. The Snowmen and sandcastles theme park lay abandoned.
Penguins books had banned Prince Harry's Spare Tyre tome. It had way to much chewing gum stuck to the pages. Chewing gum had also been banned.
The Tip Top Ice cream factory had banned Pineapple Lump icecream after Prince Louis had a severe case of diahrrheoa
The Princess Ruby Cruise ship had been banned from Queen Charlotte Sound and was now returning back to Georgetown. Princess Charlotte had been banned too, for wearing inappopriate footwear on deck.
Mosetarian meatballs were banned as was Rubyland mascara. In fact, all of Rubyland and Mosetaria had been overrun with giant rabbits until the ban came in force to stop feeding them.
That left only Jennymaesia and Lanolinland giant rabbit free. Nobody could get past the Kelp Kurtain, so it seemed, that left Jennymaesia as the undisputed winner of the Banned Game.
The shittimstanians were livid. They demanded a recount.
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“The Lanolin propaganda machine says we won the banned game, Mylady”, the SOS informed Ms Jenny. She pondered about this surprising information for a few seconds and flipped through the memo. All the other countries apart from Jennymaesia and Lanolinland had been overrun by gigantic rabbits. “All those countries?” she asked the SOS. “Yes, Mylady”, he answered in his ever so formal manner. “Those countries, are they all on Australian soil? That rabbit thing could only happen there?” she wondered. “We have reason to believe that the entire banned game is rigged and has been taking place in the Australian Outback”, the SOS went on, “Lanolinland, Shittimistan and Jennymaesia, however, has been functioning as Guinea pigs for the experiment hence their location outside of Australia”. The SOS had a really strict look on his face. “Justice has been served, still, thanks to the Rabbit Master”.
Ms Jenny was thinking long and hard about this. “What about the Antarctica fuzz? Was that ever real?” The SOS had a big, fat “No!” written all over his face. “No, Mylady, it was staged in a freezer in Melbourne”. Ms Jenny could hardly believe this. “Ms Ruby and the Chieftain?” The SOS cleared his throat. “We don’t know, but rumor has it that they are Australian politicians with an “Australia First” agenda. Some people even say they are members of the cabinet”.
“Where does this leave us?” Ms Jenny said tentatively. “Well, not in the geopolitical elite league, for sure”, the SOS shrugged, “but we’ve got a great shot at being admitted into the third tier of not really functioning countries”.
“Good golly, what will Henry Kissinger say?” Ms Jenny said nervously. “Well, he’s been on the phone all morning to berate your lack of strategical ability and political know how, so I would not pick up the phone when he’s calling again”, the SOS said.
Ms Jenny was thinking long and hard about this. “What about the Antarctica fuzz? Was that ever real?” The SOS had a big, fat “No!” written all over his face. “No, Mylady, it was staged in a freezer in Melbourne”. Ms Jenny could hardly believe this. “Ms Ruby and the Chieftain?” The SOS cleared his throat. “We don’t know, but rumor has it that they are Australian politicians with an “Australia First” agenda. Some people even say they are members of the cabinet”.
“Where does this leave us?” Ms Jenny said tentatively. “Well, not in the geopolitical elite league, for sure”, the SOS shrugged, “but we’ve got a great shot at being admitted into the third tier of not really functioning countries”.
“Good golly, what will Henry Kissinger say?” Ms Jenny said nervously. “Well, he’s been on the phone all morning to berate your lack of strategical ability and political know how, so I would not pick up the phone when he’s calling again”, the SOS said.
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Henry Kissinger aka Joshua_783 put the charm on Ms Jenny. Privately, he cursed and swore but publically he was all smelling like cologne and couldnt resist a corresponding tweet.
Ms Jenny wondered what he could mean by she ' also seem quite intelligent too' was it not completely obvious she was the Empress?! And had an IQ off the charts that even Mensa couldnt contain her?
Charles coughed and said many men did not think women were that intelligent and she ought to take it as a compliment. Present company excepted of course.
Ms Jenny wondered what he could mean by she ' also seem quite intelligent too' was it not completely obvious she was the Empress?! And had an IQ off the charts that even Mensa couldnt contain her?
Charles coughed and said many men did not think women were that intelligent and she ought to take it as a compliment. Present company excepted of course.
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“Look at this, Charles, there’s a gentleman online saying I’m ‘quite’ intelligent!” Ms Jenny’s cheeks went a little red while saying that. “Hmm…would that be in the American sense of the word ‘quite’ or in the British sense of the word?” Charles didn’t even take his eyes away from his telephone. “What’s the difference?” Ms Jenny said perplexed. “Well, when you say ‘quite’ it means ‘extremely’ and so forth, but a gentleman, granted he is not American, usually means ‘a little’ etc.” Charles was clearly amused.
“And?” Ms Jenny was impatient. “So where’s he from?” Charles inquired. “Canada!” Ms Jenny said quite (American standard, mind you) sternly. “Oh, they’re hard to classify, you can never know what a Canadian really means, they are mixing American and British English all the time, so when you ask him ‘quite’ means ‘extremely’, but when everybody else is asking it means ‘a little’ and etc”.
Ms Jenny wasn’t satisfied with Charles’ response. “He also said that I was a talented writer!” Charles realized that she wouldn’t let this go. “Jenny, whatever that it is you’re writing it’s mandatory for people to read, and besides, you’re only dictating it anyways”, Charles put his feet up on the table. “You’re such a male chauvinist!” Ms Jenny said with a hint of irritation in her voice and while she was at it she also blocked Henry Kissinger’s number. He was probably a male chauvinist as well!
“And?” Ms Jenny was impatient. “So where’s he from?” Charles inquired. “Canada!” Ms Jenny said quite (American standard, mind you) sternly. “Oh, they’re hard to classify, you can never know what a Canadian really means, they are mixing American and British English all the time, so when you ask him ‘quite’ means ‘extremely’, but when everybody else is asking it means ‘a little’ and etc”.
Ms Jenny wasn’t satisfied with Charles’ response. “He also said that I was a talented writer!” Charles realized that she wouldn’t let this go. “Jenny, whatever that it is you’re writing it’s mandatory for people to read, and besides, you’re only dictating it anyways”, Charles put his feet up on the table. “You’re such a male chauvinist!” Ms Jenny said with a hint of irritation in her voice and while she was at it she also blocked Henry Kissinger’s number. He was probably a male chauvinist as well!
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Jennymae you are a talented writer! 
You also seem quite intelligent too! Have you ever tried writing anywhere other than CC Forums? 😀
You also seem quite intelligent too! Have you ever tried writing anywhere other than CC Forums? 😀
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Ms Jenny peeked out of the window. Charles was still in the doghouse. Two questions lingered, was he there because of her petite tantrum or because he hated her?
Her pity party was abruptly canceled when the mail came. Among the envelopes and propaganda pamphlets there was something that appeared to be diplomatic mail. It was from the states.
It was a letter inside of it.
Dear Empress Jenny I,
Unforeseen circumstances have left us in quite a fix. Our society has failed to see the full extent of the ramifications of our position, and has in the cheapest way possible suggested that we have been breaking the law. They now want to put us on trial. We are aware that what we did does not represent a violation of any criminal code in Your country. We did it for our country. We brought some work with us home to prepare for the office. Unfortunately we forgot a few documents at home. That’s excusable for older men like us.
We do not want to go to prison and we are hereby seeking asylum in Your country.
Best regards,
Sugar Joe
Unca Donald
Charles entered the room. “Moving out of the doghouse?” Ms Jenny said cheerfully. “Yeah, the dog started whining and nagging, so pretty much the same as here”, he snarled. “Oh, forget about that, those two geezers you know are seeking asylum here, but ain’t they required to be on our soil to do that?” Ms Jenny wondered. “Who says they ain’t?” Charles chuckled. “I believe I saw them outside the gates”. Ms Jenny gasped. “They here?” Charles laughed. “Sure, don’t you know there’s a bounty on them? Mr Garland will pay a quarter for both of them”, Charles shrugged, “with bipartisan approval. I believe they have dumped the problem on you. Reckon you should have picked up when Mr Kissinger called”.
Her pity party was abruptly canceled when the mail came. Among the envelopes and propaganda pamphlets there was something that appeared to be diplomatic mail. It was from the states.
It was a letter inside of it.
Dear Empress Jenny I,
Unforeseen circumstances have left us in quite a fix. Our society has failed to see the full extent of the ramifications of our position, and has in the cheapest way possible suggested that we have been breaking the law. They now want to put us on trial. We are aware that what we did does not represent a violation of any criminal code in Your country. We did it for our country. We brought some work with us home to prepare for the office. Unfortunately we forgot a few documents at home. That’s excusable for older men like us.
We do not want to go to prison and we are hereby seeking asylum in Your country.
Best regards,
Sugar Joe
Unca Donald
Charles entered the room. “Moving out of the doghouse?” Ms Jenny said cheerfully. “Yeah, the dog started whining and nagging, so pretty much the same as here”, he snarled. “Oh, forget about that, those two geezers you know are seeking asylum here, but ain’t they required to be on our soil to do that?” Ms Jenny wondered. “Who says they ain’t?” Charles chuckled. “I believe I saw them outside the gates”. Ms Jenny gasped. “They here?” Charles laughed. “Sure, don’t you know there’s a bounty on them? Mr Garland will pay a quarter for both of them”, Charles shrugged, “with bipartisan approval. I believe they have dumped the problem on you. Reckon you should have picked up when Mr Kissinger called”.
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Mrs Hairy boarded the Ruby Princess cruise ship to return to Shittimstan with her husband in tow. She was now officially President of Shittimstan as voted by proxy on an online poll.
Santa Claus and his wife were also headed toward Shittimstan. They had been invited on an royal tour and the red carpet was being rolled out for them. They were told not to bring any thing as BDs (banning devices) and magic wands were not needed in Shittimstan.
David Rabbitborough was filiming a wildlife documentary about Shittimstan, and was fascinated by their dwarf rabbits. Unlike the giant rabbits of Rubyland and Mosestaria, Shittimstan had tiny ones that could fit in your pocket. David Rabbitborough consulted Darth Darwin about this, why had Shittimstan been spared the giant rabbit plague, and only had a tiny rabbits plague instead?
Only the guinea pigs had the answers, and they werent telling.
The chipmunks and the chippettes stowed away on board the Ruby Princess, and soon found gigs entertaining with karaoke and teaching zumba classes.
Santa Claus and his wife were also headed toward Shittimstan. They had been invited on an royal tour and the red carpet was being rolled out for them. They were told not to bring any thing as BDs (banning devices) and magic wands were not needed in Shittimstan.
David Rabbitborough was filiming a wildlife documentary about Shittimstan, and was fascinated by their dwarf rabbits. Unlike the giant rabbits of Rubyland and Mosestaria, Shittimstan had tiny ones that could fit in your pocket. David Rabbitborough consulted Darth Darwin about this, why had Shittimstan been spared the giant rabbit plague, and only had a tiny rabbits plague instead?
Only the guinea pigs had the answers, and they werent telling.
The chipmunks and the chippettes stowed away on board the Ruby Princess, and soon found gigs entertaining with karaoke and teaching zumba classes.
In Shittimstan, they had never heard of cancel culture because anything goes in Shittimstan. Mrs Hairy barely had to rule at all, since there were no rules everyone could just do whatever they wanted. Nothing was banned, and nobody mysteriously disappeared. Everyone already knew every one elses business, and there were no doors on the toilets, not that people cared that much to look.
There wasnt really all that much to do in Shittimstan though,and if you wanted to nap all day in a hammock you really could, as Santa Claus found out. All the tourist brochures said 'Relax man, you're in shittimstan'' with pictures of donuts, the national staple food.
While cruising toward Shittimstan Mrs Santa Claus had her hands full because at Christmas time she had surprised Santa Claus with a baby. They called her 'Santa Baby' and she had everything and was very cute and furry.....and she wished she had a pouch to keep her in like the giant rabbits did in Rubyland.
Mrs santa Claus decided to write an old fashioned post card to President Lanolin that said Wish you were here. That should get her going, she thought, and get her using her magic wand.
She also sent 'Wish you were here' postcards to the other Empresses and the Chieftain and then sat back in her deck chair with her feet up and waited for them to respond.
There wasnt really all that much to do in Shittimstan though,and if you wanted to nap all day in a hammock you really could, as Santa Claus found out. All the tourist brochures said 'Relax man, you're in shittimstan'' with pictures of donuts, the national staple food.
While cruising toward Shittimstan Mrs Santa Claus had her hands full because at Christmas time she had surprised Santa Claus with a baby. They called her 'Santa Baby' and she had everything and was very cute and furry.....and she wished she had a pouch to keep her in like the giant rabbits did in Rubyland.
Mrs santa Claus decided to write an old fashioned post card to President Lanolin that said Wish you were here. That should get her going, she thought, and get her using her magic wand.
She also sent 'Wish you were here' postcards to the other Empresses and the Chieftain and then sat back in her deck chair with her feet up and waited for them to respond.
“Here’s a postcard from Mrs. Santa”, a servant had been taking the opportunity to getting out of the mailroom to personally bring the Empress the postcard. “Aww, really?” Ms Jenny said a little bit too informal. The servant took this the wrong way and tried to strike up a conversation with Ms Jenny, but the phone rang and saved them both from further embarrassment.
Ms Jenny read the postcard carefully. She wouldn’t risk getting anymore of the coal she got for Christmas last year. It said “wish you were here”, but why’d Mrs Santa have a coal miner over? To give her more coal? The coal came in handy these days, though, hence the energy crisis, and coal was as good as anything in Jennymaesia. No green treaties had been signed yet.
She found a postcard in her drawer, and a pen.
She wrote:
“Dear Mrs Santa,
Thank You for your nice words.
I think there has to be a misunderstanding because as You know, or do not know, I am on Your husband’s naughty list. Last year I received 1,000 lbs of coal for Christmas. I doubt it that Your husband will allow me entrance into Your home.
Furthermore I will inform You that I will not be behaving any better this year and I am looking forward to getting more coal come Christmas.
Yours Truly,
Jenny I”
Ms Jenny read the postcard carefully. She wouldn’t risk getting anymore of the coal she got for Christmas last year. It said “wish you were here”, but why’d Mrs Santa have a coal miner over? To give her more coal? The coal came in handy these days, though, hence the energy crisis, and coal was as good as anything in Jennymaesia. No green treaties had been signed yet.
She found a postcard in her drawer, and a pen.
She wrote:
“Dear Mrs Santa,
Thank You for your nice words.
I think there has to be a misunderstanding because as You know, or do not know, I am on Your husband’s naughty list. Last year I received 1,000 lbs of coal for Christmas. I doubt it that Your husband will allow me entrance into Your home.
Furthermore I will inform You that I will not be behaving any better this year and I am looking forward to getting more coal come Christmas.
Yours Truly,
Jenny I”
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