at my rock bottom and hurting terribly

I'm in a long distance relationship with my girlfriend of 7 years. We've never met in real life, and have only communicated through text, Skype, mail, and email. It has been great except for this past year. In March she had sex with another man, and since then has regretted it but has tried to end this relationship several times. I know she's the one that God gave me. We're both christians, but she's just been hanging with the wrong crowd and doing things she shouldn't be doing. She hardly texts me anymore unless I try to contact her several times in a row. She's become very stubborn and cynical, and I just can't take it. She lives several states away, and I'm planning on driving up to see her in a week and a half. My parents don't know yet though, and I'm very worried about what my mom has to say about it. While I'm planning on this, I'm also going through the stress of finding a job since I'm out of college now. There's also the stress of having to drive up there, and have a plan for all of it. I'm stressed to the max about finding a job, making this relationship work, about my parents, and my girlfriend's parents. For a couple days now, I just find myself in a dark pit where my heart physically and emotionally aches to the point I can't take it anymore. I've cried I don't know how many times, and I'm crying while typing this out. My dad kind of knows about the relationship, but hasn't said much about it. One of my brother knows, but not many more of my family knows or they have their own suspicions. I've never felt this unimaginable pain in my heart and body before, and it's killing me inside to the point I can hardly function in life. I really need prayer so that I can feel better and this relationship last...and also find a job...I'm at my lowest point in my life now.

I typed this up before hand, and right now my heart is still physically aching from all of this. I'm scared, stressed, and lonely feeling in my heart and mind.

I am sorry you're going through this. It sounds to me like you need to give her a little of space. I highly suggest you focusing on your relationship with the Almighty God more than your relationship with her. If the relationship is meant to be with her, it will be. Strengthen your relationship with Him, and let Him strength you. Cast all your cares on Him because He cares for you. (1 Peter 5:7). You CAN do all things through Him who strengths you (Philippians 4:13), including make it through this situation.

Pray. Pray. Pray.

Crossfusion, welcome dear brother.

I want to ask you a serious question. First, just imagine that everything goes exactly as you hoped and planned with this woman. And just say you two were married and you had a great job. And one day in the midst of this lovely perfect life, you found out this woman (whom we are now imagining is your wife) is cheating on you again. Down comes your world, crashing in and breaking your heart. How would you be any better off than you are right now?

What I'm saying is if you put your life in the hands of mankind (friend, family, girlfriend, whomever) for your happiness, you are setting yourself up for disappointment over and over again. There is no hope for genuine peace and happiness if you rely on people to give you life. Only Jesus can satisfy our every need.

I don't doubt you have great feelings for this woman and that you are hurting badly. But I can tell you of a surety that you are giving away all of your strength and life by allowing her to crush you to the point of your heart hurting. I recommend you get wise counseling quickly, someone who is mature in Christ and who can help you. Talk to a pastor or counselor soon BEFORE you make this trip. Do not go on this trip if your mind is heavy with anxiety or your heart is hurting. It will only end in disaster and disappointment because you will not be able to reason with wisdom.

Lord Jesus, open this young man's eyes to the true reason for his heartache and fear. God, only You know our hearts, the depths of our thoughts. Make our brother Crossfusion see what his real fears are and deliver him from anxiety. Touch his heart and strengthen him in Your Truth and Your Spirit. Lead him to someone who can instruct him and help him in this situation. Father, keep this man from making a huge mistake by taking a hasty, anxiety-fueled trip and put Your rest in his heart. Stabilize his mind that he will soon seek mature counseling that glorifies Your Word. Your perfect will be done in this brother's life, Lord Jesus. Thank You for hearing his heart's cry and for meeting his need, Father.

I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your prayer. It's not about giving her space, but closing the gap between us that has been there for so long. I should add I'm not trying to make her look like a bad person, it's just there's a lot going on between us and in both of our lives.

Dear brother, I understand and have been where you are. It is excruciatingly painful to go through such heartbreak and anxiety. My heart hurt like that at one time as well.

But I praise God the Lord taught me not to give my heart fully to anyone but Him. You can love someone without giving up your very being to them. Only Jesus deserves such devotion. Please rest in Him and search His Word for comfort and strength. And counseling is great as I have had plenty of it throughout my walk in Jesus.

Keep in mind, too that if God meant for you to be with that young lady, nothing will stop God's will. If she is not meant to be yours, nothing you do will be sufficient to hold her heart. So you may as well rest in Jesus and give her completely to Him.

I will continue to lift you up in prayer and believe God is doing excellent, mighty things in your life. Glory to His name!

Thank you for that. I really needed to hear that. I do believe it's His will, but as my pastor said it's not about us asking what our will is from Him, but knowing what God's will and joining Him in it.

Lord Jesus, if anyone can help crossfusion, than it is only you Lord Jesus , please come in his life, and make things to go in the right direction, and all things happen according to your will, give your peace and understanding, and you be glorified in this situation, Amen

I'm praying for you and your girlfriend. What I would do is just focus on getting closer to Christ, he is our first love. While you are getting closer to him you may need to distance yourself from her and any other distraction. I say distraction because when our hearts are set on Jesus we won't feel so low and without hope. Keep your mind set on him, and when ever you think of her just pray that she'll come to know him as her personal savior and give it to him.

crossfusion,I'm in a long distance relationship also,I'm so sorry that you are going through this,I'm praying for you,Lord Jesus,please hear crossfusion's prayers for his gf and for his job,in Lord,Jesus name,Amen.

Thank you all for your prayers. I told my mom today my plan, and she didn't really like the sound of it. They're going on a cruise so I wouldn't have contact with them and boarding the dog would be a problem too. It would be a 12 hour drive for me to get her. So right now my trip is "canceled". My girlfriend seemed to be kinda relieved about it since she wasn't too thrilled about me springing it on her. She lives in a dorm though with a roommate, and she's an RA so I can understand her point of view. I'm still disappointed though, and I wish she felt as excited as I was to see each other. So right now there isn't a time I can go up to see her this year, but she is thinking of going on a trip to a state near me in the next month. If people are still watching this thread then please pray that she can go on this trip so we can meet each other. It's the only possibility right now for us to meet unless we find another time next year. I really just want to meet her.

To crossfusion, I think you KNOW, that this trip is not the will of God. I had a women picked out to marry, bought the ticket to the Philippines, : But then I learned, she lied to me, never asked for my forgiveness, I dropped her like a HOT potato. Now I am married to another Philippine Christian lady and in a great ministry here in the Phil.. I am afraid ,you would come home in a box. Don't talk to this women again. Let God lead you to His choice for you. Love to all, Hoffco