It's like I'm watching a movie...

You know what?

I'm just going to "spill the beans"...well, some of them, anyway...so that those of you who are praying might better understand exactly what it is that I need or desire (I believe that my desires are godly...you can judge for yourselves).

My trials pretty much began to intensify about 5 years ago when my wife conspired with one of my sisters and they pressed totally false charges against me with the Police (alleged multiple incidents of domestic violence and child abuse...nothing could be further from the truth). I had a temporary restraining order placed against me back then and I was unable to see my own three children for 6 days until after I appeared in court to defend myself (I've been guilty of just about everything in life, but in this instance I was beyond innocent and I therefore refused to appear in court hiding behind a lawyer, but I did consult two lawyers before going to court that day). To make a long story short and avoiding basically all of the gory details, there were 27 cases heard that day, with mine being the 27th, and all 26 defendants who appeared in court before me lost their cases and I won mine by a landslide. In fact, at the end of my trial, the Judge, having seen and heard firsthand what a deceitful woman my wife is, recommended that I divorce my wife (I haven't) and one of the lawyers whom I had consulted wanted me to press criminal charges against my wife and have her arrested in that she lied to Police Officers, the Judge (she perjured herself more than 60 times in just her opening comments...I was making a list) and, more importantly, from my point of view anyway, to her alleged "God" after swearing with her hand upon a Bible. That's all that I have to say about that for now except that if my wife had won her case in court that day, then I would have unjustly had a permanent restraining order (which is what my wife was seeking) placed against me and I would have never been able to see my own three children, whom I love more than my own life, again. I'm not looking for sympathy, friends...I'm just explaining what I'm up against.

Shortly thereafter, my wife and I determined that we needed to move because our original house was purchased (we hadn't paid it all off yet) when we only had one child and we now had three and we simply needed a bigger house. As such, I invested almost all of our savings in remodeling the house (new floors, new bathrooms, etc., etc.) to make it more sellable and my wife was basically hell bent on buying new furniture. I repeatedly insisted that then was not the time to buy new furniture (for starters, we didn't even need it) because we were planning on moving and it made more sense to just wait until we moved before thinking about new furniture. Well, of course, my wife started buying new furniture...and she doesn't work. She does, however, attend college online and being a minority (she's a black woman from Panama), she receives different grants to pay for her schooling and she's basically allowed to spend her money however she wants to. As such, when I asked her where she was getting the money to buy all this new furniture and she told me that she had some money, I initially assumed that she was using her school money...until I got my next credit card bill. Yes, she had been charging everything to my credit card, so that was a financial setback. To make matters worse, she insisted on hiring a man to do the renovations around our house who basically looked like a crack addict. As it turned out, he was on drugs and he not only basically destroyed our house instead of renovating it, but he also made off with about $800.00 that I had paid him in advance for some materials and stuff. Needless to say, that was another setback. When we finally got some people in to actually do the renovations, I noticed a spot of black mold in the ceiling of our downstairs bathroom as I was showering one morning and when looked into, it was discovered that there had apparently been a slow leak in a pipe from our upstairs bathroom which had not only damaged the ceiling of our downstairs bathroom, but which had also apparently leaked under the wall and into the floorboards of our son's bedroom (this was discovered as his carpet was taken up). Again, to make a long story short, we contacted our home owner's insurance company and they in turn brought in a mold remediation company. Well, far from remediating the mold, these people did nothing according to industry guidelines and they wound up spreading three different types of TOXIC MOLD throughout our entire house. In fact, they did no post-testing (we hired another company to do post-testing and there were not only three different types of TOXIC MOLD in our house, but they were at TRIPLE THE LEVEL OF WHAT WILL KILL YOU) and they told us all to move back into the house and my wife had to be taken to the hospital ($25,000.00 in bills) as she had an immediate reaction to the mold and now has respiratory/lung problems as does our son. Anyhow, that house has basically been condemned, along with all of its belongings, so we not only lost everything that we owned in one moment of time, but also all of the money which we had invested in the renovations AND $27,000.00 IN MERCHANDISE WHICH I USED TO RUN/MAINTAIN MY BUSINESS IN THAT MY HOME DOUBLED AS MY WAREHOUSE. IOW, in one moment of time, we lost our past (our savings), our present (everything that we owned except for the clothes on our backs and whatever merchandise I had in my work van) and our future in that I lost the merchandise which I use to generate revenue.

It gets worse...

Our homeowner's insurance company, being the snakes that they are, wrote out a big check for us in BOTH our names AND the name of our mortgage company. IOW, we could only cash the check with our mortgage company's co-signature and the monies had to go into repairing our home WHICH WAS CONDEMNED DUE TO THE TOXIC MOLD. As such, we've never received a dime from them except for the couple of days that they put us up in a hotel when the mold remediation was being done.

How could things get any worse? Well, here's how:

We hired a lawyer, the number one lawyer in this field of dealing with mold cases (he won a case for 4.5 million dollars less than a month before we hired him), and we sought to sue the mold remediation company. Mind you, this process began almost 4 1/2 years ago and there are statutes of limitation involved in such cases. Anyhow, we basically had a two year window in which to notify the mold remediation company that we were going to sue them and our lawyer instructed us to "set all of our ducks in a row", so to speak, or to gather together all of our receipts, photographs, medical bills, etc., etc. so that we could properly present our case. Oh, I forgot to mention that we live in a resort area in the Poconos of Pennsylvania and that we LITERALLY moved every Saturday, for 8 straight months, when we lost our house because we were only able to rent different places for one week at a time at exorbitant rates (anywhere from $800 to $1000 A WEEK) while we looked for another house. I also forgot to mention that two different realtors tried to swindle us during this timeframe of looking for a new home and one of them LITERALLY threatened to kill me (I had to call the Police and press charges against him) after we demanded our deposit back when we found MOLD in the home that we had left a deposit for (they had tried to cover it up, but, again, my wife had a reaction and we had the place tested). Anyhow, after we handed all of our documents over to our lawyer, he ensured us that he had notified the mold remediation company and we regularly had contact with our lawyer via phone and in person at his office...until this past May, that is, WHEN WE READ IN THE NEWSPAPER HOW THAT OUR LAWYER HAD BEEN BANNED FROM PRACTICING LAW FOR 18 MONTHS (friends, you can't make this stuff up) because he apparently hadn't been properly filing paperwork for several different people who then filed complaints against him. Well, needless to say, we immediately began checking up on our lawyer in regard to whether or not he had ever properly filed our own paperwork and, as I type, our new lawyer has still been unable to properly assess the same. As it presently stands, there's a distinct possibility that our case might be dismissed and that we might have to then sue our original lawyer for malpractice instead.

On top of this, although I was able to maintain my family/our finances during the first 2 or 2 1/2 years of this ordeal in that I work in retail sales (I have my own business) and in that I was generating decent revenue daily, a whole host of things have similarly conspired against me and my business has basically tanked.

"Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play?"

lol...that's basically just an introduction. IOW, I could easily add to the list of things which I just described.

Here's the deal:

In the natural, I'm basically in financial ruin as a direct result of these and other things which have come upon me. To make matters worse, I've got an ever growing list of people who are SUING ME. For example, our old house which we lost was in a gated community where we paid yearly dues for maintenance and they're SUING ME for more than $10,000.00. Quite frankly, I'm about a week or so from getting evicted from the house which we're presently renting and I have a wife and three young children (my eldest will be 12 next week, the next is 9 and the last is 7). If these things ONLY involved me, then I would happily live in a cardboard box if I had to and sing praises to God while doing so. However, as a man who loves his children, my heart rends as I think of how all of this might negatively affect them. We have received help from different organizations at times and I've even considered declaring bankruptcy, but, in all honesty, that would only be a band aid of sorts. IOW, I really need to hear from God in relation to what I'm supposed to do with my life from hereon.

In the spiritual?

Well, I'd like to say two things...

1. I'm not Prince Charming. Well, what does that mean? It means that although I've documented how OTHER people and OTHER things have conspired or worked against me, I have had to make some changes of my own throughout this long ordeal. Again, "fiery trials" will expose whatever "dross" is in our own hearts and I've had to deal with quite a few things in relation to MY OWN CHARACTER in the midst of this, but I have dealt with and will continue to deal with the same.

2. I want to live for God.

Seriously, I genuinely gave my life to Christ more than 26 years ago and it's my sole desire to live for Him and His purposes. I've diligently sought the Lord since day one and I genuinely have a heart/burden for the lost and I'm hoping that I can still be useful in the Lord's "vineyard" before my life on earth is through.

Please pray that God shows me what to do next. Again, I've seen/experienced/witnessed THE MIRACULOUS POWER OF GOD, in more ways than one, many, many times over the last 26+ years so I know that God is able to get me out of this "bottomless pit" that I described in my OP. I really need a Word from Him...please continue with me in prayer that I get it.

Thank you and God bless you.

Wow, what a ride. Not sure what to say here but I'll pray on it. Hell is definitely working overtime on your case.

Just out of curiosity, what sort of retail business do you own, and do you have any formal Bible schooling?

Good news. . .God is refining the dross. . .and he does so only in his sons.

The mold in your house is the dross in your life.

But refining is in the fire, and it looks and feels like a refining in fire.

It will be over when the dross is refined, and the house is washed clean, not just swept clean.

Pray, trust and obey. . .

Hi, Elin.

If such a similitude is in effect, then I can assure you that I'm no stranger to repentance. Yes, God does chasten those whom He loves and scourge those whom He receives, so
I actually view correction/chastisement as a good thing.

Incidentally, I have had dreams and visions over the years and they were almost always SELF-corrective in nature and I regularly ask God to correct me by whatever means are necessary and that even includes while I am sleeping:

Job chapter 33

[14] For God speaketh once, yea twice, yet man perceiveth it not.
[15] In a dream, in a vision of the night, when deep sleep falleth upon men, in slumberings upon the bed;
[16] Then he openeth the ears of men, and sealeth their instruction,
[17] That he may withdraw man from his purpose, and hide pride from man.
[18] He keepeth back his soul from the pit, and his life from perishing by the sword.
[19] He is chastened also with pain upon his bed, and the multitude of his bones with strong pain:
[20] So that his life abhorreth bread, and his soul dainty meat.
[21] His flesh is consumed away, that it cannot be seen; and his bones that were not seen stick out.
[22] Yea, his soul draweth near unto the grave, and his life to the destroyers.
[23] If there be a messenger with him, an interpreter, one among a thousand, to shew unto man his uprightness:
[24] Then he is gracious unto him, and saith, Deliver him from going down to the pit: I have found a ransom.
[25] His flesh shall be fresher than a child's: he shall return to the days of his youth:
[26] He shall pray unto God, and he will be favourable unto him: and he shall see his face with joy: for he will render unto man his righteousness.
[27] He looketh upon men, and if any say, I have sinned, and perverted that which was right, and it profited me not;
[28] He will deliver his soul from going into the pit, and his life shall see the light.
[29] Lo, all these things worketh God oftentimes with man,
[30] To bring back his soul from the pit, to be enlightened with the light of the living.

It is a good thing, given only to his sons. . .you are versed well enough in Scripture to know that.

The problem with refining by fire is that it feels like you're in the fire.

Hey, Ricky.

Speaking of "a ride", I've had a recurring dream (although I haven't had it recently) for years in which I'm driving a car (once it was upgraded to an 18-wheeler) downhill on a twisty, curvy road WITH NO BRAKES WHATSOEVER!

Amazingly, I've never been hurt in said dreams (and I've had that same dream numerous times), but I've always been able to handle the curves without crashing. At my end, I've taken that dream to mean to just keep going forward and I'll somehow survive. Hopefully, that is what the dream means.

As far as "hell working overtime" is concerned, believe me, I'm not ignorant of the devil's devices and I'm quite sure that he would like nothing better than to "sift me as wheat" or for me to "curse God and die"...especially in that I've been effectively used of the Lord for more than 20 years in the area of deliverance or the casting out of demons in Jesus' Name. Anyhow, I know the voice of the Good Shepherd (even though I seem unable to hear it in regard to this ongoing situation) and I'm not about to follow "the voice of a stranger" or the voice of Satan. I don't mean this to sound "cocky" or anything, but Satan's really not my concern here. IOW, I counted the cost early on and I know that I'm in a spiritual war which is going to continue until my dying breath. That's a given, so I just deal with the same accordingly. What is my concern, however, is that I desperately do need to hear the voice of the Good Shepherd, so thank you for any prayers in regard to the same. Apart from Christ I can do nothing...but I can do all things through Christ Who strengthens me.


I'm basically a transient vendor which is a glorified way of saying a travelling salesman. For the most part, I work in different VA Hospitals across the country and sell my wares to both Veterans and hospital employees alike. My wife and I do homeschool our three children, so I started my own business early on in our marriage so that I could have flexible hours and spend as much time as possible with my children.

Regarding "formal Bible training"...lol...that's almost more disastrous than what I described in relation to my other trials. IOW, I have been enrolled in two different Bible schools in the past (it's been years now), but I was basically run out of both. In the second instance, a false witness (he was actually a student there, too, and he used to be in a Wendy's hamburger commercial) rose up against me and I was put "on trial" and I basically just left as the Holy Spirit obviously wasn't in operation in that place. Believe me, I'm not the type of man who runs from opposition, as ought to be obvious from what I just disclosed, but when it comes to the things of God, I simply don't play games.

Anyhow, the vast majority of my "training" is the direct result of years of prayerful/careful studying of God's Word and fellowship with Him.

Why do you ask?

I'm just trying to get a better sense of what's going on here.

You do have gifts and the way you have presented things tells me you have a level of understanding few reach.

To achieve that without any real formal Bible schooling is a sign in itself.

I'm not concerned with you following the voice of the enemy, and he is indeed sifting you. A lot of what you say and are going thru resonate in me. God spent decades going out of His way to present me with an education and experience in the spiritual realm that up till now I don't think many people were privilege to (I hear people now speaking understandings that I first came to 30+ years ago, and many of which nearly got me kicked out back then). This has been accompanied by an equally efforted attack by the enemy to keep me as stymied, stonewalled, and irrelevant as a human can be. It's hard to spread the power of the gospel when you're being depowered in the world, if you will. The more satan can fill your time with handling worldly things, the less time you have to fight him with.

I don't have an answer as of yet (maybe I was hoping to find one in you that would help both of us). But I do sense that you are about to turn a corner, a huge one.

Life won't be what it has been up 'till now, but the pool has to be drained - completely - before fresh water can be brought in and not be tainted by the old. God says the key is perseverance. You will persevere, and this will all change for you because of it. I'm just not sure about when and how

I wish I knew more about your deliverance ministry, and the theology behind it. I assume you're a big believer in the Spiritual Gifts (all of them). But what you're doing has to be right, because satan doesn't waste attacks upon people who are powerless against him.

Merciful LORD,

I come today to pray again for this brother. We know Your plans are perfect and we pray that You instil in this brother the assurance in his heart to rest in Your finished Work. Teach him not to question in his obedience and remind him that having faith is not only declaring on his lips, but to also have to faith to NOT SPEAK if it is not in accordance to Your will.

Remind him, Jesus, that You declared on the cross- "IT IS FINISHED!" And what our Saviour declares finished, is finished indeed! We know LORD, that you will not tempt us beyond what we can bear, and we know that Your Strength and Your Grace overflows in us daily to face the new waves of struggle.

Send him earthly angels, Father, to guide him on his way and encourage his heart and mind with GOD-given words. Teach him the true meaning of resting in You, which sometimes means to let go and sit back in inactivity fully leaning on Your presence.

Remind him that to let go of the situation and to give You full control may be scary, as we are human, and all of us crave some sort of control, Father. But teach us that to let go is not to do nothing, but to do everything that is needful- which is to rest at Your feet and receive from You.

Abba, use Your Word to nourish him, and remind him that as long as he looks to the cross and not at the turbulent sea, he too, like Peter, can run to Jesus above the storms.

We are confident, that we will see the goodness of the LORD in this lifetime, and I claim this for my brother.

In Jesus name,

Amen

There is an old Jewish saying that goes something like this “If the demons of Satan attacks you drag them into the study hall”… if you think about it, if we are attacked by the enemy just give him Word. Yeshua did it when He was tempted and if it is good enough for our King it should be good enough for us. Also we should ask Abba Father that His will be done. Difficult sometimes to understand God’s will but we keep on praying that He will guide you my friend.

Abba Father, our brother in Christ are feeling attacked and sometimes we feel alone in these situations. Father make him calm and guide Him. Use the Holy Spirit to comfort our brother in this difficult period in his life and Father give him strength to carry his cross like you gave the strength to your son Yeshua the Messiah. We ask this in the name of Yeshua our deliverer. Amen

I love the poem you had just shared, you had shared another with me way back I loved also. I dont believe it was the same one, and was much lengthier (if I recall)

You can write well, you actually surprised me there.

And again, knowing your situation the door is still open to that offer if we can assist in any way beyond a "peace be warm and filled" reply.

Even still, "peace be warm and filled" (along with anything we can do to asist you in that)

God bless you

I love the poem you had just shared, you had shared another with me way back I loved also. I dont believe it was the same one, and was much lengthier (if I recall)

Leviticus 14:33-53
Mold is mentioned here as sort of a "plague of leprosy of the house". Feel the need to mention this to give clues and discern better the spirit we are praying against. I just feel God might speak to you somehow while you read that part.
Praying that God's justice will kick in and swiftly so, brother. amen

Hi, SoulWeaver.

I'm sorry that I didn't respond to this sooner, but I was contemplating whether or not I should ask the following question:

Do any of you believe that we go through trials at times not just because of ourselves, but also because of others?

IOW, my own spiritual house, which includes my wife and children, is DEFINITELY out of order and I could easily see how God could use "mold" to illustrate such a reality, but here's the thing...

I've known for years that my house is out of order, but I only can control my own actions.

IOW, as I said before, I'm NOT "Prince Charming" in that God has dealt with me in several areas during this whole ordeal, but, quite frankly, I've long time believed that God is trying to get a hold of MY WIFE AND MY CHILDREN, TOO, and they're simply not getting it. If such is indeed the case, then is it possible that this situation isn't going to get rectified until they, figuratively speaking, start dealing with THEIR OWN "mold" or their own sin?

I'm truly curious as to what you and others think in regard to the same. I mean, on the one hand, I know that God holds us accountable for our own actions, yet, on the other hand, I know that the sin of Achan, for example, affected all of the Israelites and also that "a little leaven leavens the whole lump".

Just asking...

As we've discussed before, I actually hate (well, probably not the right word, especially since God helps me to do the same) writing and I would much prefer to speak. My ability to write DEFINITELY came from God as I've really never had any interest in the same. In fact, aside from typing on a computer keyboard, the only time that I ever write is to sign my name on checks and things like that or upon notes that I sometimes leave for my children expressing my love for them. Other than that, if I never saw a pen or pencil again, then I'd be in Paradise. lol. Furthermore, I never liked reading before, but that all changed when I got saved in that I've pretty much devoured my Bible. I think that I might have shared with you once before that the last two years that I was in High School, I got my school books the first day of the school year, placed them in my locker that day and didn't take them out again until the last day of school. How did I do my homework? Well, I either didn't do it at all or I copied it from others. I somehow managed to get a full scholarship for college, but, even then, I dropped out after about only two weeks. Do you know which class delivered the death blow to me?

ENGLISH LITERATURE.

Again, I never liked reading or writing...but God's will be done.

As far as your offer is concerned, I still feel bad that you helped me once before and please believe me when I say that my problem is much deeper than financial in nature. Again, I need to hear from God as to what to do with my life from hereon. My business has basically tanked and I hate it anyway. You know my normal hours:

Up at 1:00 a.m....on the road by 2:30 a.m....work all day and get home around 6:00 or 7:00 p.m....shovel some food down my throat...spend a little time with my children and online....sleep about 4 hours...and start all over again...AND FOR WHAT?

Granted, I'm not lazy and I know that I need to provide for my family, but if this is my ultimate lot in life, then I'm really confused. I'm still hoping that my time and energy can be better spent in ways that pertain more to that which is eternal, but, again, God's will be done. In any case, I'm basically lost as to what my next step is to be and that's why I feel like I'm just in some sort of free fall. One way or another, something's gonna give very soon...