Starting over with nothing

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
G

gods_kid

Guest
#1
I'm new here. I am a single mom of two college age kid. I've been divorced for ten years. I need prayer, or maybe just direction, or conversation....not sure. I've been praying for three years and things still continue to slide. Since 2011 I've lost my brother, my dog, my fiancee, moved with my kids four times, have been in two serious car accidents, one almost fatal, got a DUI in 2012 (out of character for me, and the first time anything remotely like that has ever happened to me - and no, I don't drink now). As the DUI case was going through the courts, my sister and the only person I had to turn to with all my legal storms, died. A month later the DUI was filed in court. I spent months going to court appearances and always alone, and each time took all my strength to walk through those doors and be told again by strangers what a horrible person I am. When I pled guilty, I lost my job. I'd spent all my savings on transportation costs getting to and from work, trying desperately to keep my job. I went to jail for two weeks. When I came out my mom was showing marked signs of dementia, and I couldn't help her - no money, no car, no job - and in November of 2013 my employment ran out. I could not find a job, even with a college degree and sending between 80-100 resumes a day. I struggled and fought so hard to hold on to mine and the kids home - sometimes i didn't even buy groceries for myself so I could make my payment on my house. I had nowhere to go, no money or job, so no one would've rented to me. In February of 2014 I lost our home. I was totally, utterly devastated. Heartbroken. I truly had believed God was going to save our home, spare us from going through this and being separated. I honestly believed God would not allow us to be separated after everything we'd gone through as a little family. My belongings and furniture went into storage. My son moved in with my ex-husband, my daughter moved there also, and then onto campus. I moved in with my mom. Into a tiny tiny cramped and cluttered house where there wasn't even room for just her, let alone her and me. I've lived this past year out of a laundry basket and a box. I have to pay $140 a month to the court, $70 a month for my storage facility, and until recently had to pay $50 a week for a DUI class. I'd gotten a tax refund last year and have been living off of that. It's gone. I've applied to every place I can think of for a job, and it's not even getting to the place where I tell them about the DUI and they don't hire me, I'm not even getting responses on applications or on my resume. I've never had this happen before. I have a degree and good experience. I have no car, no money, and now my mom cant be left alone, so the difficult job of finding a job has just gotten even more difficult. I am having to look for work at home jobs. I am basically alone 24/7 in this bedroom because my mom and I do not get along, try as I do, we just dont' get along. I can't talk to her about any of this, I can't talk to her about how scared I am to have no money, how heartbroken I am to not live with my kids anymore, how disappointed I am in myself and the place my life is now. I lost my best friends thru this, they just didn't want to deal with all of my storms and battles. I've even lost the support (emotional) of some family members. I am trying to believe there is a reason for all of this beyond just punishment. I've been punished a thousand times over for that mistake. I lost everything because of that mistake. And the irony is I'm not a drinker. If I was a drinker, then these past three years would've probably been a bit easier to get through. You can't numb your pain or your fear with Pepsi. My relationship with God has just been up and down. I am still so hurt and heartbroken that I had to lose my home, and my kids. Being apart from my kids like this is just draining me and I just feel pain. I miss my siblings who have died. Even my brother-in-law died eight months ago, and I've known him all my life pretty much...he'd been a brother and a substitute dad for me. I've just lost so many people and so many things, and I feel homeless, penniless, and worthless. I've somehow held onto my faith, meaning I've not turned away from God, but so many times I've started to pray and thought "things always go wrong after you pray, why are you praying? You want more things to go wrong??"....I'm afraid of God and not in a good way. In a way that tells me I could lose another person I love in a split second, and it doesn't matter how I feel or how it affects me, God will do what God wants to do. I feel abandoned by God, I feel this way a lot. I have already had many conversations with God about all of this, and I'm always totally honest with God about everything I'm feeling and thinking and doing and struggling with. I am struggling with such depression and loneliness and grief. I don't know who I'm supposed to be now. The person I was is totally gone. The person I'm maybe supposed to be is nowhere in sight. And so I'm i between and I'm basically no one right now. This isn't self pity, please don't say it is, I don't feel sorry for myself. I blame myself. I'm angry with myself. Being a parent is the most important thing I've ever done and I feel I've failed that. My kids tell me I haven't failed, that I've shown them how to be strong and deal with mistakes and pain, and for that at least I'm glad. But so many sides of my identity have been destroyed. I just don't even know what direction to even turn in now. I'm sorry this is so long.....just a lot on my heart.
 

levi85

Senior Member
Jul 2, 2013
8,578
2,180
113
#2
Lord help gods_kid to know your plans in her life.God let you be visisble to her instead of all her problems and bad conditions bless her and make her a blessing in the family, in Jesus name, Amen!
 
B

BibleReader

Guest
#3
Dear Lord,

First of all, Lord, thank you for the wonderful gift of gods_kid. Thank you Lord for giving her the strength to express her confusion and her needs.

Help her find the peace in this tough time, and give her the strength to endure, to let go of her anger and give her the humility to look to the cross and remember Jesus. "For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."

Jesus, Son of God, helped people, healed people of their sickness or disability, but even more important, Jesus did deliver people from their isolation, their guilt, and their sin! "Behold, I am making all things new." Let her know that undeniable truth. God, you are not only creator, but savior!

Be with her, help her, as she tackles all of these things, Lord. Lift her up, comfort her, be with her as I know only You can.

In Jesus name I pray, Amen!
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,862
9,579
113
#4
I found it hard to read your post because it's a wall of text. Please use paragraphs to break up your replies.. :)

Lord, please be with gods_kid right now. Help her know what to do and where to go from here. Give her some peace and free her of any worries..amen.
 

roxxyroller

Senior Member
Mar 16, 2015
1,300
65
48
#5
God please help this lady, and help her to know and see that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Turn her sadness into gladness, and show her the only way, Your way. Let her get out of this funk and pray whole-heartedly every chance she gets. Help her God, please help her as you know exactly what she is going through. In Jesus name we pray, Amen.
 

SoulWeaver

Senior Member
Oct 25, 2014
4,889
2,534
113
#6
God, I have not experienced the trouble as hard as our sister gods_kid so I cant give her counsel. Please help me help her somehow by interceding through me by Your Holy Spirit. I hurt for the pain she feels. Strengthen her and make an opportunity for her, open the doors in her soul and life so she doesnt feel so imprisoned and hopeless. Make Yourself intimately known to Your child so she will find comfort in the beauty of Your face. Show her your salvation and make her rejoice again in her life. amen

God.jpg
 
Dec 1, 2014
9,701
251
0
#7
It all turns around for you today. According to your faith let it be done in Jesus Christ.
 

SoulWeaver

Senior Member
Oct 25, 2014
4,889
2,534
113
#8
It all turns around for you today. According to your faith let it be done in Jesus Christ.
Yes Jesus, lend her YOUR perfect faith! We thank You for having the faith for us all because we are all lacking, You even scolded the apostles for the lack of faith. Thank You Lord for having mercy and perfect faith of Jesus for us that we can hold on to. According to the riches of Your lovingkindness
 
S

skylove7

Guest
#9
I will pray for you gods_kid with all my heart in your time of sadness. But please know....if you did indeed ask God to forgive you and you love God, He has forgiven you! In order to regain your happiness you must let go of the past, and strive toward making each day forward living in Gods light of love.

No one is born perfect, we all make mistakes. But just because you have lost things in life, you haven't lost the opportunity to be a child of God, for he loves you. Heal from your past, and love yourself as God loves you. Don't have breakfast with your regrets...for it makes for an awful indigestion. When you speak that you are sad, because you have one room you stay in, because you don't get along with your mother.

I understand this, for as a child I had a terrible mother and father I should have been adopted, but I made it through much better a woman! My mother would scream at me "Go away you remind me of your father!". I'd run crying to daddy and he'd say "Oh get lost kid...your looks remind me of your mother, and I despise her!"

So when you say this one room you have is so awful. Don't think of what little you have is so awful...but take what little you have and make it beautiful... Just to get you through your sorrows. Fill your room with favorite books, hang your favorite pictures on the wall. Make your room your own little happy place. Its not what we have that creates joy,...its what we are inside when we have it, and that is love and thankfulness.

Keep your heart and mind in God. Things will turn around. The more you love God, above your problems, the more you will notice your life will change to more joy, no matter what you own.

I pray for you, God bless you!
 
Last edited:
P

psalm6819

Guest
#10
God bless you and your family, gods-kid. it seems a bleak outlook but remember you have a Heavenly Father and He says

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Hold onto this verse/promise, when despair threatens to overwhelm say it outloud. You ARE god's beloved kid and He will take care of you. It's difficult with adult children, we always see them as our babies but sometimes we just have to know that He loves them as much as we do and His hand is on them. He's got a plan so do not fret, His will be done. In the name of Jesus. Amen

Father, encourage your daughter, let her know that You love her and will take care of her.
 
S

Sose

Guest
#11
Iv back zero to have nothing to three times not close family member died part. i feel sorry for that happen to you but any i will pray for you . i know the feeling of shame that stun you will in fear that every better than you and you never feel you can get it right to make it work. people know the fear it put in you. im barely starting to get on my own two feet w.. most life iv had not much. this a yime to make you think more to God and his love not to feel about only honor of people is all that matters . im preaching to my self also be thank for what you fdo have you life your kid and. and the biggest is and me is stop think of what people think about you it will drive you to live as a mouse that hide in the shoshadows and never can do what you got to do. to live in fear .
 
S

Sose

Guest
#12
The feeling of im failure is what hold me back in this loop cycle of forget it to make this seemly never feel at least for awhile go away. quit think your a failure and what people think that is my own worst ememy
 
S

Sose

Guest
#13
I had dream once. i wont into all of it but i tell it. i was struggle with one guy in a college setting ( never been to a on campus college and dont have a college degree) well anys way the the dream turn to me with a spider on my arm, i was so stun in fear because it look like it was going to bite me if i move or tried to swipe it off or kill it that i did dare move . how am i going to get the spider off?e.
 
S

Sose

Guest
#14
Ever if i dont do any thing
 
S

Sose

Guest
#15
Soory for keep replying but my Mom be through alot like you and i said the same think she taught to be strongher and she started over from zero no nothing not even a car live in shelter with me many time growing up. Dont give your not the only one. find some that like you that been through alot like youve been through it real help just as long as that some body isnt doing do the oppossite ik drugy friend hang out with other drugy friend no job may make feel better but doesnt help . find some that is try to quit and not give up that in the same as your problem is. well take care hope we both keeping trying and hold on to God love for us
 

Aisaiah

Junior Member
Nov 2, 2013
14
2
3
#16
Omgosh its horrible. Im sad for you.

And how brave of you to pour your heart out, through it all God still draws you close even when the angel of death roams near your loved ones, hold on to this faith, dont forget to pray for your loved ones as well even when you're separated in truth, ya'll can stil be one in spirit.

I pray that the enemy will loose his grip on you or your life, so you will continue coming togheter on sundays, praying togheter worshiping the most high, involve the elders of your church, let them cover you, your mom your children, so all that is left will recieve healing. (hebr10:25) In the mighty name of Jesus. amen

I understand your relationship with the Father is a little rocky but do remember only a thief (satan) comes to steal kill and destroy, Christ came to have life and have it to the full!" (john10:10) Continue to draw close to God and he will draw near to you and your breakthough will come, amen

https://bible.org/seriespage/lesson-60-how-solve-worries-about-money-luke-1222-34

31"Do not worry then, saying, 'What will we eat?' or 'What will we drink?' or 'What will we wear for clothing?' 32"For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. 33"But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.… (matt6:31-33)

May God bless you and keep you (nr6:22-27)
download.jpg
 

Aisaiah

Junior Member
Nov 2, 2013
14
2
3
#17
You are doing a great job, meaning dont give up. The circumstances you are in (going THROUGH) do not define you as a person dear. I also pray God give you the strength to carry on, when we feel we can hardly stand anymore, we kneel (and pray).

"Be on guard. Stand firm in the faith. Be courageous. Be strong." (1cor6:13)

"For I am the LORD your God, who upholds your right hand, Who says to you, 'Do not fear, I will help you.' (isa41:13)

"Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Don't be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand." (isa41:10)

I pray you will be succesful though this testing of faith/ this fire/ the storm, loose faith and you'll sink like Peter. (matt14:29)

Also:
"I will bring this third through the fire and make them pure. I will refine them like silver and purify them like gold. They will call on my name, and I will answer them. I will say, 'These are my people,' and they will say, 'The LORD is our God.'" (zech13:9)

"And I am sure of this, that He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ." (phil1:6)

He will bring you though this.

And never stop pleading for mercy and justice, like the parable of the persistent widow: "
7now, will not God bring about justice for His elect who cry to Him day and night, and will He delay long over them? 8"I tell you that He will bring about justice for them quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will He find faith on the earth?" (luke18:7-8)

Hold on: "
21But examine everything carefully; hold fast to that which is good; 22abstain from every form of evil." (1thess5:21)

"Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise." (hebr10:23)
 
May 3, 2013
8,719
75
0
#18
Hi, God´s kid!

For me, what you wrote, is sad and hard to be understood (and that´s why you came in here seeking prayers).

Since you don´t have someone to share your time (the way you would like) may I be permitted to spur you to read the Bible
(I´m not a teacher, but someone who reads it). There you´d find people who were rich and left abandoned, like Job. You´d see a rich king who became like a beast, living as a poor churcmouse () for 7 years... Their lives and their WORDS would lead you to Christ and His Father (and those words you think of and read, have been talking for 2 milleniums) so they will teach you a wisdom we lacked in loneliness and these struggles.

Once you accpeted God´s plans, your life could change, for the better.

These are not good signs ("...I don't feel sorry for myself. I blame myself. I'm angry with myself... ") but, it is upon you to overcome that situation.

Bunches of people had experienced that (and those). If this is your case, God us NOT playing with you, becasue you could be refined.

May the Lord Jesus, His Father and his saints on CC, help you more than these few words.

:(
 
F

Fubario

Guest
#19
I am completely in touch with how you feel, sometimes it feels like its an endless struggle, but the good news is that God can make you emotionally strong and faithful, and I pray for the God-given gift of faith you are blessed with, and pray over you a blessing in the hard times in the name of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, and that you might perservere and become the fruitful tree God wants you to become. I pray your fear of God might lead to dependency, and recall to you the promise of the Lord in Romans 8 that all things work together for the good of those who love God and that you are not condemned in Jesus name. I pray in the name of the Holy One of Israel future restoration and blessing, with a promise and a dream that will take away your pain. I pray for healing and command the devil one to be removed from your future in Jesus name, and pray you might be given a spirit of love, power, courage, and commit your heart to God. We give thanks to God in Jesus name and praise the Lord and wish you good luck and strength, and pray for forgiveness in your love life and for power over the evil one and sin. In the name of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ or Yahshua we pray and say amen
 
Last edited by a moderator:

KBond

Senior Member
Jun 5, 2013
662
21
18
#20
Deut. 31:6 "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."

Lord, I pray for gods_kid to receive direction and goals. Mend relationships with her family and other people in her life that have been torn apart. Thank You that You are for her and not against her. In Christ's Name, Amen.