Embarrassing Situation but It's Reality!

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roxxyroller

Senior Member
Mar 16, 2015
1,300
65
48
#1
What do I do? My hubby is VERY addicted to porn! He loves it and it never bothered me before, but now that I have given my life to The Lord, I find it offensive and hate it! He also wants me to talk 'dirty' to him cuz it 'turns him on'. I used to, however again ... I gave my life to the Lord and find it so trashy! We are supposed to please one another in marriage, but it feels so wrong. I don't want him to leave me if I won't 'please' him ... I am praying but don't know what else to do. I don't see him stopping anytime soon. :(

help.jpg
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
9,601
113
#2
Tell him that "talking dirty" to him makes you feel uncomfortable now that you've your life to God. Tell him how tacky and tawdry it is. Tell him looking at porn and lusting after it is a sin, AND it pretty much violates your wedding vows cuz he's looking at other women naked.. He is supposed to honor and cherish YOU, not these floozies who bare all to make a buck..Tell him he needs counseling or you'll leave him.. sometimes scare tactics like that work..lol..
 

SoulWeaver

Senior Member
Oct 25, 2014
4,889
2,534
113
#3
Pornography is deviation of natural and an addiction, but not just that. It is also infidelity. Remember Jesus said, whoever looks upon another woman with desire has committed adultery through his heart! I am sincerely praying that Jesus will open your husband's eyes to the full truth on this destructive behavior. And everything in marriage should be with mutual consent. If you are not comfortable with something and he demands it, then his gratification is being put above love.

Pornography also abuses everyone involved in the industry, and most people involved have been victims of abuse who get involved into it to cope with abuse. So any time he watches this, he is supporting abuse and often human traffiking with his clicks or money. Maybe this is something your husband should know:

[video=youtube;pIxdnnxqK6o]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pIxdnnxqK6o[/video]

I also suggest that the thread is moved into Ladies' forum so you will feel more comfortable discussing this problem. You might request this from a mod or admin on chat... God bless Sis and hoping your husband is set free from this addiction as your marriage is being restored.
 

roxxyroller

Senior Member
Mar 16, 2015
1,300
65
48
#4
He watches it on tv ... there is a free late night porn station here in Canada, and it's disgusting! He pvr'd a bunch of it unfortunately ...
 

levi85

Senior Member
Jul 2, 2013
8,578
2,180
113
#5
Lord we pray for roxyroller husband, let your thoughts flow in his mind, let his body be your temple. Break this yoke of satan from him Lord you have chosen roxyroller and her husband to glorify you, Lordyou can change season and times change her husband . IN Jesus loving name, Amen!
 

Jimbone

Senior Member
Aug 22, 2014
2,710
825
113
44
#6
Pornography is deviation of natural and an addiction, but not just that. It is also infidelity. Remember Jesus said, whoever looks upon another woman with desire has committed adultery through his heart! I am sincerely praying that Jesus will open your husband's eyes to the full truth on this destructive behavior. And everything in marriage should be with mutual consent. If you are not comfortable with something and he demands it, then his gratification is being put above love.

Pornography also abuses everyone involved in the industry, and most people involved have been victims of abuse who get involved into it to cope with abuse. So any time he watches this, he is supporting abuse and often human traffiking with his clicks or money. Maybe this is something your husband should know:

[video=youtube;pIxdnnxqK6o]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pIxdnnxqK6o[/video]

I also suggest that the thread is moved into Ladies' forum so you will feel more comfortable discussing this problem. You might request this from a mod or admin on chat... God bless Sis and hoping your husband is set free from this addiction as your marriage is being restored.
Man our God is so great. It's really amazing how He works in us to bring us to truth. I have only been regenerated for right at 18 months now, and was delivered from my own porn addiction overnight by His power. I never thought of porn as "bad" at all before. The men & women made the decision to make these videos, and no one was getting hurt, and it’s not like I’m cheating, or so I told myself. The day after I was reborn I tried to pull up some porn to watch, but ALL I could think about were the points in this video. "What lead this girl to have to make money like this?, How would her parents feel about her doing this?”, and the biggest on in my opinion was “What does she tell her children in the future if they ever happen across mommy's movies?". I turned it off that day, and by His power and ALL glory to Him, I haven't partook in it since then.

Roxxy in my case it took God changing me via rebirth for my addiction to be broken, I never thought of porn as wrong before. That is likely still the way he looks at it as well, you seem to have not felt this way about it before, and only feel different now because of Gods Spirit indwelt in you, something he probably doesn't have yet so may have trouble understanding this sudden change in you. Even more frustrating is you can't make him accept Jesus. My only suggestion is to talk to him and explain what's going on in you right now. Just take it slow and easy and try to be patient with him. I will pray God gives both of you the wisdom you need to come to a common understanding, and that God works through you to point him to God as well. Thanks for sharing sister, I hope it goes well.
 
P

psalm6819

Guest
#7
Father, thank You for your goodness to us. Please help roxxy roller to deal with her husband in a compassinae manner, help her husband lose this desire to watch unsuitable material. Give her strength to endure ans be a good example to her husband. In the name of Jesus. Amen

HI, this may sound goofy but try it. Praise your hubby, every single time he does something right. Let him know that he is still attractive to you. It's odd but men REALLY need that positive encouragement. Knowing you respect and love him will absolutely make a difference in his mindset and he will want to please you, deal gently with him because you are his example of God's love.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
9,601
113
#8
He watches it on tv ... there is a free late night porn station here in Canada, and it's disgusting! He pvr'd a bunch of it unfortunately ...
call your cable provider and request that they remove that channel..or even have your cable shut off altogether..
 

roxxyroller

Senior Member
Mar 16, 2015
1,300
65
48
#9
call your cable provider and request that they remove that channel..or even have your cable shut off altogether..
Yes we no longer get those stations hun, but he still has some to them taped. I may wait til he's out and go in and erase them ...
 

roxxyroller

Senior Member
Mar 16, 2015
1,300
65
48
#10
Pornography is deviation of natural and an addiction, but not just that. It is also infidelity. Remember Jesus said, whoever looks upon another woman with desire has committed adultery through his heart! I am sincerely praying that Jesus will open your husband's eyes to the full truth on this destructive behavior. And everything in marriage should be with mutual consent. If you are not comfortable with something and he demands it, then his gratification is being put above love.

Pornography also abuses everyone involved in the industry, and most people involved have been victims of abuse who get involved into it to cope with abuse. So any time he watches this, he is supporting abuse and often human traffiking with his clicks or money. Maybe this is something your husband should know:

[video=youtube;pIxdnnxqK6o]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pIxdnnxqK6o[/video]

I also suggest that the thread is moved into Ladies' forum so you will feel more comfortable discussing this problem. You might request this from a mod or admin on chat... God bless Sis and hoping your husband is set free from this addiction as your marriage is being restored.

Thank you sou.gif
 

roxxyroller

Senior Member
Mar 16, 2015
1,300
65
48
#11
Father, thank You for your goodness to us. Please help roxxy roller to deal with her husband in a compassinae manner, help her husband lose this desire to watch unsuitable material. Give her strength to endure ans be a good example to her husband. In the name of Jesus. Amen

HI, this may sound goofy but try it. Praise your hubby, every single time he does something right. Let him know that he is still attractive to you. It's odd but men REALLY need that positive encouragement. Knowing you respect and love him will absolutely make a difference in his mindset and he will want to please you, deal gently with him because you are his example of God's love.
Much appreciated! Thanks ps.gif
 

roxxyroller

Senior Member
Mar 16, 2015
1,300
65
48
#12
Lord we pray for roxyroller husband, let your thoughts flow in his mind, let his body be your temple. Break this yoke of satan from him Lord you have chosen roxyroller and her husband to glorify you, Lordyou can change season and times change her husband . IN Jesus loving name, Amen!
Thanks for your prayers, levi.gif
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
9,601
113
#13
Yes we no longer get those stations hun, but he still has some to them taped. I may wait til he's out and go in and erase them ...
forget erasing them..he will probably just re-record them again..throw them out and get rid of them entirely..that's what I would do..
 

roxxyroller

Senior Member
Mar 16, 2015
1,300
65
48
#14
Man our God is so great. It's really amazing how He works in us to bring us to truth. I have only been regenerated for right at 18 months now, and was delivered from my own porn addiction overnight by His power. I never thought of porn as "bad" at all before. The men & women made the decision to make these videos, and no one was getting hurt, and it’s not like I’m cheating, or so I told myself. The day after I was reborn I tried to pull up some porn to watch, but ALL I could think about were the points in this video. "What lead this girl to have to make money like this?, How would her parents feel about her doing this?”, and the biggest on in my opinion was “What does she tell her children in the future if they ever happen across mommy's movies?". I turned it off that day, and by His power and ALL glory to Him, I haven't partook in it since then.

Roxxy in my case it took God changing me via rebirth for my addiction to be broken, I never thought of porn as wrong before. That is likely still the way he looks at it as well, you seem to have not felt this way about it before, and only feel different now because of Gods Spirit indwelt in you, something he probably doesn't have yet so may have trouble understanding this sudden change in you. Even more frustrating is you can't make him accept Jesus. My only suggestion is to talk to him and explain what's going on in you right now. Just take it slow and easy and try to be patient with him. I will pray God gives both of you the wisdom you need to come to a common understanding, and that God works through you to point him to God as well. Thanks for sharing sister, I hope it goes well.
A huge thank you to you as well jim.gif
 
P

psalm6819

Guest
#15
Thank you for the lovely sparkles, I'm still enough of a kid to go ooooohhh!!! look how cool!!
 
Feb 7, 2015
22,418
413
0
#16
What do I do? My hubby is VERY addicted to porn! He loves it and it never bothered me before, but now that I have given my life to The Lord, I find it offensive and hate it! He also wants me to talk 'dirty' to him cuz it 'turns him on'. I used to, however again ... I gave my life to the Lord and find it so trashy! We are supposed to please one another in marriage, but it feels so wrong. I don't want him to leave me if I won't 'please' him ... I am praying but don't know what else to do. I don't see him stopping anytime soon. :(

View attachment 102768
To start with, buy him THIS BOOK I have bigger guns, too, but they would take a lot more commitment from him than even just reading this book.

But, if he cares at all, and wants to stop, this book is excellent..... the best I have found yet.

You should read it, too. Especially the third part.
 
Feb 7, 2015
22,418
413
0
#17
The smartest thing you have done is to have posted this openly. Besides God, only men can seem to reach men about this sad sickness.
 

roxxyroller

Senior Member
Mar 16, 2015
1,300
65
48
#18
I love all of you, you are all so supportive ... makes me so happy inside you have no idea! :)

w.gif
 
May 3, 2013
8,719
75
0
#19
What do I do? My hubby is VERY addicted to porn! He loves it and it never bothered me before, but now that I have given my life to The Lord, I find it offensive and hate it! He also wants me to talk 'dirty' to him cuz it 'turns him on'. I used to, however again ... I gave my life to the Lord and find it so trashy! We are supposed to please one another in marriage, but it feels so wrong. I don't want him to leave me if I won't 'please' him ... I am praying but don't know what else to do. I don't see him stopping anytime soon. :(

View attachment 102768
just a thought:

If I had someone, with me, who likes it, I will feel my fears... What if she likes more another, than me?

What if she likes to do things I never tried and she believed certain tricks (and lies) porn made viewers to believe?

There are a lot of lies on those videos and, personally, when I was married, I made the mistake to show her some "things" I wanted to improve her "drives"... I hurt myself and, very probably I hurt her spiritually.

I consider there are few things that can be learnt there (I have learned by watchng lesbians) but once a person learned, it is enough of it.
 
Feb 7, 2015
22,418
413
0
#20
just a thought:

If I had someone, with me, who likes it, I will feel my fears... What if she likes more another, than me?

What if she likes to do things I never tried and she believed certain tricks (and lies) porn made viewers to believe?

There are a lot of lies on those videos and, personally, when I was married, I made the mistake to show her some "things" I wanted to improve her "drives"... I hurt myself and, very probably I hurt her spiritually.

I consider there are few things that can be learnt there (I have learned by watchng lesbians) but once a person learned, it is enough of it.
NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just kidding yourself and playing with fire.