F
I am have been hurt so much by people around me.
Recently in one of the quarrels i had with my mum, she said lots of hurtful stuff to me. I was wrong to have used a vulgarity in our conversation and being disobedient. Many times she said hurtful stuff and have been doing that since my parents divorced and some of the things she say hurt so bad. It scares me to think that i've grown numb to some of them to reduce the emotional impact they have on me.
Many times I feel so lonely and feel that no one understands what i've been through in life. My parents favor my younger brother for being more talented and having a better future than me and pay more attention to my sister, who is studying as well. Its so unfair that sometimes I care so much for the family in many ways in my capacity and yet I'm being treated this way.
Furthermore, I have been struggling with low self esteem because of me being short and ugly. Many people teased me since young and said many hurtful words to me. Many things that happen in my life are really out of my control. Sometimes i'm really afraid of going to church with my family because i don't want to go to church and pretend that everything seems fine. I also do not have close friends in church as many of them have known each other for a long time. In fact i do not have close friends or anyone who understands me. Thinking back, i have been hurt so much and the situation of my life hasn't improved.
I have tried picking up hobbies and activities and failed pretty badly even though i tried hard. My failure in dating, as well as close friends leaving me also hurt me a lot. Sometimes i feel so envious of people who have good friends and family.
I also struggle a lot with sin, especially in lust, anger and being judgemental.
I have prayed and tried many times to improve my situation but things seem to keep getting worse. I feel like a complete failure in life. The feeling of being alone is too much for me to bear.
Thank you so much for reading and bearing with me
Recently in one of the quarrels i had with my mum, she said lots of hurtful stuff to me. I was wrong to have used a vulgarity in our conversation and being disobedient. Many times she said hurtful stuff and have been doing that since my parents divorced and some of the things she say hurt so bad. It scares me to think that i've grown numb to some of them to reduce the emotional impact they have on me.
Many times I feel so lonely and feel that no one understands what i've been through in life. My parents favor my younger brother for being more talented and having a better future than me and pay more attention to my sister, who is studying as well. Its so unfair that sometimes I care so much for the family in many ways in my capacity and yet I'm being treated this way.
Furthermore, I have been struggling with low self esteem because of me being short and ugly. Many people teased me since young and said many hurtful words to me. Many things that happen in my life are really out of my control. Sometimes i'm really afraid of going to church with my family because i don't want to go to church and pretend that everything seems fine. I also do not have close friends in church as many of them have known each other for a long time. In fact i do not have close friends or anyone who understands me. Thinking back, i have been hurt so much and the situation of my life hasn't improved.
I have tried picking up hobbies and activities and failed pretty badly even though i tried hard. My failure in dating, as well as close friends leaving me also hurt me a lot. Sometimes i feel so envious of people who have good friends and family.
I also struggle a lot with sin, especially in lust, anger and being judgemental.
I have prayed and tried many times to improve my situation but things seem to keep getting worse. I feel like a complete failure in life. The feeling of being alone is too much for me to bear.
Thank you so much for reading and bearing with me
