suicide .. xo

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LaceyM

Guest
#1
I tried so hard to be okay and to convince myself it would all go away one day and I would not have these bad feelings in my heart and these thoughts in my head but I was wrong .. I will never be okay . As soon as I go two steps forward I'll just go a million times back . Maybe it's not the devil just ****ing me over, maybe God needs me to be an angel for him and he's trying to let me know. I have to do this .. but what if I'm wrong .. what if God doesn't want me and I have to go to hell . I try to say it's not worth the risk but it is . The one percent chance I can go be an angel and get away from this hell of a life is worth it . So I guess I'll do it . Maybe it will work this time . Maybe I can find my happiness in heaven because I sure as hell didn't find it here on earth and I tired of waiting around for something that's not even guaranteed to happen. Guess we're not all blessed .. I guess some of us are just lessons learned instead.
xo
 
Jun 19, 2015
72
1
0
#2
Hi LaceyM,

God is the giver of life and would never want you to commit suicide.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (ESV)
[SUP]19 [/SUP] Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, [SUP]20 [/SUP] for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

God wants us to glorify Him in our bodies. You can't glorify Him if you commit suicide. No matter what you are going through God can help you get through it.
 
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Ugly

Guest
#3
Hi Lacey
Firstly, just know that we do not become angels if we go to heaven. Angels are created beings.
Secondly i know how you feel. I've considered suicide a number of times myself, and i know of quite a few other people who have as well. So i understand the feeling of hopelessness that causes it.

Are you a Christian? I ask because you don't seem to know the bible, based off of your comments here.
Mind sharing some of the issues you're facing that makes you feel the way you do? Many times people don't want to seek help, they want to do it by themselves, in secret, which is not going to help at all really. Most likely you are going to need to express to your parents, or someone else that's an adult, what you are going through so they can get you the help you need.
But maybe if you explain what's going on here people here can begin to help you.
 

jogoldie

Senior Member
Mar 20, 2014
1,616
48
48
#4
Lacey dear sister......what ever your going through........its not forever......suicide is forever....
I have lived a hard life.....my trials are many.......and I have learned along the way .....that nothing lasts forever....
that happiness is not found anywhere but inside you.....just waiting to be used.....happiness is a way of viewing life....
its not an event.....or a person.....it is you.....the girl who God designed for special things....these trials we face...though they
seem to last forever.....but they dont ....time changes everything.....give God the time to develop you....let Him carry the load....
when we speak negatively that is what we claim our life to be..... when you say...."I will always be"....or I never will....
then that will happen.....put positive words in your mouth.....like. ..I will be better.....I will succeed in beating this lie that has been told to me....
My pm is open for you.....we can talk this through.....I will share the secerts to happiness....I care what happens to you...
much love and peace.....jo
 
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LaceyM

Guest
#5
yes, I'm a Christian but have not been very religious for a while now while I have been going through this . some of the issues I guess are just never ever being good enough and just always ****ing everything up and just I just want to find my happy and my purpose like everyone else but I can't ..
 
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Ugly

Guest
#6
Like everyone else? There are a Lot of adults in life that still dont know this. I'm nearly 40 and I don't know. Sometimes we can try so hard we miss the answer because we're rushing so fast we don't get to see what we miss.
Really the ideal way to live is just move forward, do your best to make wise choices, both by common sense and according to how the bible says we should live. Focus on getting to know Christ better. Do these things and relax about knowing what God has for you. You will never discover it being impatient and making bad choices.

Never being good enough for who or what? If you mean God, well, you better get used to that because no one is good enough and that's what grace is all about. The bible says no one is good enough but that Christ died for our salvation regardless. The most respectable and spiritual Christians you know aren't good enough. But God gives us grace and mercy and forgiveness anyways because He loves us that much.
Or if there are other areas you mean then please feel free to share.
 
T

teekay

Guest
#7
Hi Lacey,
You are not alone. I know life can be really hard sometimes but I need you to know this most important fact. God loves you. God brought you here to this site so you had support, so you could talk to other people and know that no matter what you are going through, you are not alone. I know many of us would love to pray for you so that God can bring change and healing to your life. We need each other. When one falls, we pick each other up. So right now you need help, you need to be picked up. Help us to pray for you by sharing what is wrong. Also, seek help. Those best equipped to help are parents, church leaders, school councellors, sports coaches, other family members such as uncles, Aunts, Grand-parents. Ask any and everyone you feel comfortable talking to for help and do not stop asking for help until someone really listens. Do not give up, you can do this. Ask God for Help. Prayers can be simple, God hears them all. example: 'Jesus, Help me with...' I have prayed for you and I will continue to. May God Bless you.
 

levi85

Senior Member
Jul 2, 2013
8,578
2,180
113
#8
Lord be the God of laceym, and bless and guide in your ways, bless this matter for your glory, shine in laceym's life, in Jesus name, Amen!
 

PennEd

Senior Member
Apr 22, 2013
12,820
8,596
113
#9
I tried so hard to be okay and to convince myself it would all go away one day and I would not have these bad feelings in my heart and these thoughts in my head but I was wrong .. I will never be okay . As soon as I go two steps forward I'll just go a million times back . Maybe it's not the devil just ****ing me over, maybe God needs me to be an angel for him and he's trying to let me know. I have to do this .. but what if I'm wrong .. what if God doesn't want me and I have to go to hell . I try to say it's not worth the risk but it is . The one percent chance I can go be an angel and get away from this hell of a life is worth it . So I guess I'll do it . Maybe it will work this time . Maybe I can find my happiness in heaven because I sure as hell didn't find it here on earth and I tired of waiting around for something that's not even guaranteed to happen. Guess we're not all blessed .. I guess some of us are just lessons learned instead.
xo
Lacey, God loves you. We love you. PLEASE watch this video.

[video=youtube;loiGNZTfu6g]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=loiGNZTfu6g[/video]
 
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LaceyM

Guest
#10
Lacey, God loves you. We love you. PLEASE watch this video.

[video=youtube;loiGNZTfu6g]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=loiGNZTfu6g[/video]
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS VIDEO.
 

Jesus4ever

Senior Member
May 18, 2015
783
19
18
#11
I´ll pray for you, sister! May God help you and grant you the strength, peace and His light!


God bless you!
 
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Brighthouse

Guest
#12
Sister LaceyM,I remember those feeling and emotions myself sis,I served two tours in Vietnam,and when I came back, I could not hold down a job! I had no self worth because of what I had done,and I sure never believed Jesus could ever want me!

Please do read my testimony on my profile sis,it is kind of long, so please take some popcorn with you. hehe After Jesus delivered me and saved me i wondered if the Lord ever talked to his children? I was house sitting for my pastor one day sis,ah the weather was cold and rain was falling pretty hard,in the pastors den,i asked the Lord to help me understand his love for me,as still sis,I was somewhat doubtful.

There was a knock upon the door,to which I answered the door and said yes?? may I help you? He said, your name is mark is it not? I said, ah yes it is do you know me,because i sure do not know you! You know me brother he said,for God sends who he knows,and he always knows who he sends, peace be with you,and only believe!

I looked down sis,My mouth must have dropped to my toes! And when I looked back up the man was gone! No car no nothing! It is for this reason my dear sister that I have been sent to you this night, to give you the very same message i received from our Loving Jesus!

Along with this scripture to confirm to you,the Lord himself not only loves you!!! But will help you, just as did me take away all your fear!( Isaiah 41:9-13) It is true sister!! God sends who he knows,and indeed he always knows who he sends for each and everyone of those he cares so very much for!!God bless you sister! Only believe!( mark 5:36) he will take care of the rest sis!
 

Sadkitty

Senior Member
Jun 11, 2015
111
3
18
#13
Lacey I know, in part, of what your feeling. I've had sucidal thoughts and really contemplated doing it. If you ever need someone to talk to or just listen, feel free to pm me. Praying for you.
 

G4JC

Senior Member
Feb 9, 2011
668
6
0
#14
Praying for you, you may also like to read this:

Contemplating Suicide?
While I was on the Sheriff's Department I saw and investigated a lot of suicides. Every one of them was a tragedy. Each person I saw had the potential to give something to this world...
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,862
9,581
113
#15
Lacey, please click the links below in my sig.. Alot of us have been where you are right now.. we know how it feels to feel hopeless and worthless. But God loves you so much!! PM me if you ever want to talk. Please do read the threads below.. :)
 

PennEd

Senior Member
Apr 22, 2013
12,820
8,596
113
#16
Hey Lacey! I pray your feeling better. Remember, people are still praying for you. I hope you have felt God's love and realize just how precious you are in His and our sight. In Jesus name. Amen
 
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Goodgirl77

Guest
#17
Lacey, it may seem impossible, it may feel like you can't take one more day and there are many of us who have felt like that. But please hang on, put one foot in front of the other and keep going.
Suicide is forever and you will never know what could have been just around the corner. Try to picture yourself in 2 yrs time thinking look where I am now; thank the Lord I'm still here to appreciate how far I've come
 
J

Jvb

Guest
#18
I feel the same way, I just wish that Jesus would reach His hand out for me again, and for you too.
 
J

Jvb

Guest
#19
I am in the same shape, will you pray for me too please?
 

mar09

Senior Member
Sep 17, 2014
4,927
1,259
113
#20
I feel the same way, I just wish that Jesus would reach His hand out for me again, and for you too.
Lacey and jvb, i know how you feel. Long ago, i learned not to rely on feelings as we've been taught the saved persn relies on facts. At the same time, we were given emotions, so the feelings sometimes indicate something, like when we feel strongly abt something, or 'feel' against it. I have the sme feeling of wanting to reach for His hand now as we did sing 'the Lord is my Shepherd, i'll walk with Him always...' But seems I can't reach them! I know there were many things i was doing wrong, but even so i ask everyday that i not just feel His presence but know in my heart too. May God have mercy on us, when we have not obeyed as pleases Him, and help restore us. Unlike you i'm unable to use the s word and i never ever imagined to be in this condition thru all the time i lived, but now it's so hard to understand altho we were told we dont have to but rather to lean not on our understanding.