feel like I dont belong in church

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goth4god

Guest
#1
#1
it has been about 2 years since I have gone to church.
I stopped going cuz I graduated high school and went to work at a Christian summer camp.
but before I went off I helped out at my church a lot and actually felt like I kinda fit in. It took me a while to finally feel like that, and now I dont feel like I belong there at all.
I am at that awkward age where i am not in the youth group, but feel out of place in the adult groups. and the college group I used to go to disbanded.
when I came back from working at the summer camp lots of things had changed in the church I went to, and I didnt have any friends there (I only had 2 to begin with)
I hate going alone cuz I will just sit in the back alone. I am not the type to go make friends.... especially in a big church.
I was thinking about going back, but on June 1st I am just going back to work at the summer camp and I dont want to just start going and then leave again.
but also I feel that I just dont fit in, at all. I kinda know a few people, but I dont consider them to be friends, and I just cant explain it. I just feel like church isnt for me =/
I know it is good to go and hear the word of God, but I can get that from TV or whatever, and I think the real reason for church is to fellowship... but how can I fellowship when I dont know anyone there and am too shy and awkward to make friends 0.o
if you could give me any tips that might help that would be great, and of course I would love it if you could pray for me. thanks.
 
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Feelthebeats

Guest
#2
#2
First of all Ill pray for you. And second, you should not feel shy in church. I am sure you have heard this before. I used to feel shy in church, until i talked to my youth pastor, and he totally is cool about it. He gave me some help and it worked. Maybe to solve that awkwardness, try to see if you can volunteer at the local youth group or something. I think that would be fun, if I am still here when I go to college I might try to. But yea, just work through it.
 
pickles

pickles

Senior Member
#3
Apr 20, 2009
14,479
182
63
#3
Praying for you.
God bless, pickles
 
resurrection33

resurrection33

Banned
#4
Dec 19, 2009
27,513
128
0
71
#4
goth4god said:
it has been about 2 years since I have gone to church.
I stopped going cuz I graduated high school and went to work at a Christian summer camp.
but before I went off I helped out at my church a lot and actually felt like I kinda fit in. It took me a while to finally feel like that, and now I dont feel like I belong there at all.
I am at that awkward age where i am not in the youth group, but feel out of place in the adult groups. and the college group I used to go to disbanded.
when I came back from working at the summer camp lots of things had changed in the church I went to, and I didnt have any friends there (I only had 2 to begin with)
I hate going alone cuz I will just sit in the back alone. I am not the type to go make friends.... especially in a big church.
I was thinking about going back, but on June 1st I am just going back to work at the summer camp and I dont want to just start going and then leave again.
but also I feel that I just dont fit in, at all. I kinda know a few people, but I dont consider them to be friends, and I just cant explain it. I just feel like church isnt for me =/
I know it is good to go and hear the word of God, but I can get that from TV or whatever, and I think the real reason for church is to fellowship... but how can I fellowship when I dont know anyone there and am too shy and awkward to make friends 0.o
if you could give me any tips that might help that would be great, and of course I would love it if you could pray for me. thanks.
Click to expand...
I don’t know what I would do without my church. It doesn’t matter what age you are. The adults should accept you, and if they don’t, that’s THEIR problem, not yours. Go there and have fun.
 
D

distinctiveministry

Banned
#5
Mar 2, 2010
537
3
0
#5
If you can take an attitude with you to church that says "I'm going to see what I can supply for the growth and betterment of others," then feeling comfortable in church shouldn't be too much of a challenge. I'm not saying you, Goth, but in general, too many people go to church to see what they can walk away with. That isn't the attitude God desires for His children.
 
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Elijah3

Guest
#6
#6
I pray that God leads you to where He wants you to go. God bless you.
 
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Loloy

Guest
#7
#7
i will pray for you...
 
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SeekinHIM

Guest
#8
#8
Dear Goth,

WOE............7,114 POSTS, MAYBE THIS IS YOUR CHURCH.............ANY WAY, CONSIDER HAVING A HOME GROUP TO START, AND PERHAPS THIS COULD CONTINUE AT CAMP.......

This is happening all over the Nation, large Churches are starting to empty out some, and more home groups or home meetings are starting up......

Either way I am praying for you .........

Be encouraged, The LORD will show you......

SeekinHIM
 
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Dread_Zeppelin

Guest
#9
#9
distinctiveministry said:
If you can take an attitude with you to church that says "I'm going to see what I can supply for the growth and betterment of others," then feeling comfortable in church shouldn't be too much of a challenge. I'm not saying you, Goth, but in general, too many people go to church to see what they can walk away with. That isn't the attitude God desires for His children.
Click to expand...

Wow, it's not her fault she doesn't feel like she fits in. I haven't ever fit in a church all my life and it wasn't because of my "poor attitude" but because people have either ignored me completely or gossiped about me behind my back. I have been friendly, asked people to do things with me, and gone to youth groups with nothing but smiles and postitive things to say. I have come out with people thinking that all I want is a boyfriend (not true at all, i was so desporate for Christian friendships) and that i'd be prettier without my nosering.

Part of the reason that I rebelled against God 3 years ago was because I felt that if "His people" in church rejected me that God must have rejected me too. A tattoo and drugs later, I went back to God and realized that it was really the church that had a wrong attitude and not me. So...no. I dont agree with you at all. And it is hard for shy people who want to form healthy loving Christian relationships when they're not interested in doing the same. I completely disagree with you 100%.
 
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Dread_Zeppelin

Guest
#10
#10
Goth, by the way I'm praying for you!
 
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SeekinHIM

Guest
#11
#11
Hey Zepp,

I am still waiting for that picture of the UH.... BEARD..............Do you remember, ..............oh ok a uh, little off topic, but it just popped into my mind, and uh,,, oh ...........sorry.

SeekinHIM
 
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Dread_Zeppelin

Guest
#12
#12
SeekinHIM said:
Hey Zepp,

I am still waiting for that picture of the UH.... BEARD..............Do you remember, ..............oh ok a uh, little off topic, but it just popped into my mind, and uh,,, oh ...........sorry.

SeekinHIM
Click to expand...

LOL I backslid so my beard started to recede ;)


...kidding of course.
 
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SeekinHIM

Guest
#13
#13
ahhahahahahhhahhahahahaaaa wow, THANKS FOR THE WHISKERS AND THE SERATONIN...............LOL
 
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SeekinHIM

Guest
#14
#14
FEAR NOT SIS, I AM PRAYING FOR YOU, HE WILL NEVER LET YOU GO.............


CONTACT ME IF YOU NEED PERSONAL PRAYER......

SeekinHIM
 
Moviefan2k4

Moviefan2k4

Banned
#15
Mar 18, 2009
190
2
0
#15
Goth4God,

Have you considered that maybe you're going to the wrong church? I can't speak for Him, as i don't know your exact situation, but sometimes God has different congregations for people. If the church you're going to doesn't welcome you, or causes you to feel uncomfortable, then privately address one of the pastors. If that doesn't solve anything, pick a new church. I was raised in the "turn or burn" environment, and there were many churches i hated as a kid. But now, I'm 29 years old, and I'm finally attending one where I really feel at home, more often than not.

Whatever your choice, my prayer is that God brings you closer to Him, and helps you to form relationships with people who will lift you up and encourage you. People will let you down, and so will your own mind and emotions...but God won't. It may feel like He is, but that's a lie from the pit of hell, and you as a believer are strong enough in christ to renounce it.
 
cookie39

cookie39

Senior Member
#16
Oct 5, 2009
616
12
18
#16
This is what God had to teach me about finding a place to fellowship as well as worship. IS GOD THERE!!!, I had to lear that no matter where I go, the first thing I look for, Is God. I had to learn that everyone in the church is there for the same reason I am, but have different situations,,, We are all there to seek God, The Word of God, which will lead us and guide us, The Word of God is the Spirit of God... and all the time; The Lord will allow me to see that the first or second time I visit. Once I know that a ministry is opporating under the power of God, then I need to know where are they in their teachings, are they giving only milk, or meat, or the both. I am well beyound milk... and I am at the growth where I can receive strong meat. so I, personally get bored with the fondamentals, but if that is what you need then choose a place where you can grow in the things of God, (spiritually) and the rest will follow. I say: when you walk in the doors of a ministry... ask God to show you if he is there first, ( for God is not at every church) and if the Lord is there, then ask the Lord , is this the place where I will learn of you and help me grow closer to you in relationship, in knowledge, and Godly wisdom. Because God knows what you need spiritually from him, and as you seek the Lord no matter where he have you at he will give you a family as well as friends. But if we go to church seeking people, we will always be disapointed.... I have learned as long as the Lord Is with the pastor of the church I attend so will he be with the full ministry... and that all people in the church need deliverance from something as well as I do, so to keep me from judging the full ministry on how some people act... I just look for God.. and he will allow me to discern who is ready for friendship and those who are not ready "yet" . and remember this one thing even satan put people in the church.... if not to destroy that ministry... but discourage many from the fellowship and the coming together to worship the Lord God.... so instead of us running from ministry because of how people act... Lets run to God in prayer for them..
so if you know that what the pastor teaches is of God and from God.. and it will help you grow closer to God.. then I would stay there.. until , or if God tell you you have out grown that ministry, and there is somewhere else he want you to go.

there was one chuch I went to i was only there for a year, I had stop growing in God, never made a friend there, not what I was there for in the first place, never thought once about it not happening, then I went to many churches seeking God, many was not where he wanted for me. Then I went to a church where I grew so fast, there for 5 1/2 years, out grew them... the co-pastor said they only teach the funamentals there... so God had to move me on.. I am now as well as then well past the fundamentals, and my relationship with God is one that many never have had. so now the Lord is preparing me for ministry... so please Look for God, not man... in doing so God will give you the friends that are just for you.. we can't be close friends with everyone, but God will make everyone treat you friendly.... Hope you can see what I am saying here. with so much Love... I see you blessed.
 
C

corkbeliever

Guest
#17
#17
Goth (and everyone),

I know I didn't see this message until six years after it was posted but I decided to post in case it would be of benefit to someone.

Do not feel bad about not fitting into church. The reason is because church as we know it is not operating according to scripture. Church in scripture is all about family and community, not run like a business or a school. There are 57 "one another" commands in the New Testament that are neglected by today's church. Where is the "love one another", "build one another up", "edify one another"? We have missed much of the good the Lord has meant for us and are living in an empty shell instead. It is only over the last few years I realised how far we have gone from what is written in scripture. Jesus said you will know His disciples by their love for one another. The "one another" is absent and that is why people don't belong. Just imagine how powerful it would be if we got back to what scripture meant things to be.

People are leaving church and feeling like they don't belong, because the church of today is far from the church of scripture. People want the real thing, and the Lord wants us to have it too.

I'm surprised nobody has posted this yet. I hope my words are an edification to somebody.
 
cate

cate

Member
#18
Apr 26, 2009
84
16
8
#18
Thanks for reposting this its true the has lost focus most them and failing to be an encouragement to believer let us keep praying for the church
 
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corkbeliever

Guest
#19
#19
We have to be continually reminded that church is not something we go to, but it's something that we are. It is only by stripping off the extras and looking to what scripture says that we can see what we're looking for. I don't like the question "where do you go to church," because I'm there 24/7. I hope and pray the Lord will reveal Himself more to His body, and the distinction between what scripture knows as church, and what church has become will be apparent. It is only by pursuing the real thing that we will find fullness.
 
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