falling apart.

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deesandpooh

Guest
#1
#1
My husbands been gone to the hospital for over a week and a half now.hes been diagnosed with scizoaffective disorder and bipolar.He thinks he has put me up as an idol in his life and Gods takeing me away from him.The doctors wont tell me anything because of policys and any imformation i get i get from his mom.i had to quit my job and dont even know how anythings going to get paid.its hard when your trying tk keep everything together and you dont know weither to stay at a place where you have no friends are try to find a way back where i came from wich is over 3,000 miles away.I dont even know if my husbands comeing back are if he is leaveing forever.I know your sjppose to be with each other to sickness and health richer are poorer but i dont even know if he plans on bieng with me when he gets back and we have a two year old son together.Its been 5 days and the medicine they have been giveing him isent even helping.when his motber mentioned me to him he just got upset and told her she knows he cant have anything to do with me are he will be punished.He was my best friend and know im left all alone with no help...no friends... no job...no car...i know people are like stop complaning blah blah blah but i dont need that.i already feel like low life piece of crap and i dont need the maby Gods trying to teach you to rely on him cause im actully relying on my self more than ever cause all anybody wants to do is pray.oh ill pray for you but i wont ask you if i can take you anywhere because its raining and you and your baby has to walk in the rain,but i will judge you for takeing your baby out in the rain.Im so sick and tierd of all the fake people out there.tney care but you havent talked to any of them in a week and when you do its cause they need something from you.I hate life...if it werent for my son i swear i would just kill myself.i dont always feel this way but rightnow im so lonly inside i just want to die,and scream and hide.
 
B

blondieindahouse

Banned
#2
Jun 23, 2015
1,990
37
0
#2
The doctors wont tell me anything because of policys and any imformation i get i get from his mom.
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Are you currently his wife according to law of your state? Why would your mom be privy to info ? How old are you?
 
S

skylove7

Guest
#3
#3
Lifting you in prayer deesandpooh

God she needs you now in this troubled time in her life. Please give deesandpooh the courage and understanding to be strong. We all have hardships and sorrows sometimes....but God please show her what you showed me
To trust in you completely....to concentrate on the blessings more than troubles.
I will continue prayers for you deesandpooh...but please hold on because that little 2 year old you have needs mama and instead of worrying about what you can't be now....remember what you can be....and that is an amazing mom to the child!
God bless you deesandpooh
Please hold on and remember the rainbow after the storm
That is God#

I will keep your troubles in my heart and prayer
Cuddles to that little toddler
God keep you safe and holding on
Amen
 
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deesandpooh

Guest
#4
#4
Yes i am we got married jan 2013.He has to sign a paper to release any imformation to me,which he wont cause he thinks God told him not to communicate with me.im 30 years old.
 
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deesandpooh

Guest
#5
#5
How can i be an amazing mom when i cant even pay the electricity bill.
 
GuessWho

GuessWho

Senior Member
#6
Nov 8, 2014
1,227
34
48
#6
I don't understand everything you wrote.

Why did you quit your job? How did you lost the car?
 
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deesandpooh

Guest
#7
#7
I had to quit my job because my husband got put in a mental instutition and i had no one to sit for my son.our car just stopped working.
 
Born_Again

Born_Again

Senior Member
#8
Nov 15, 2014
1,583
128
63
#8
deesandpooh said:
My husbands been gone to the hospital for over a week and a half now.hes been diagnosed with scizoaffective disorder and bipolar.He thinks he has put me up as an idol in his life and Gods takeing me away from him.The doctors wont tell me anything because of policys and any imformation i get i get from his mom.i had to quit my job and dont even know how anythings going to get paid.its hard when your trying tk keep everything together and you dont know weither to stay at a place where you have no friends are try to find a way back where i came from wich is over 3,000 miles away.I dont even know if my husbands comeing back are if he is leaveing forever.I know your sjppose to be with each other to sickness and health richer are poorer but i dont even know if he plans on bieng with me when he gets back and we have a two year old son together.Its been 5 days and the medicine they have been giveing him isent even helping.when his motber mentioned me to him he just got upset and told her she knows he cant have anything to do with me are he will be punished.He was my best friend and know im left all alone with no help...no friends... no job...no car...i know people are like stop complaning blah blah blah but i dont need that.i already feel like low life piece of crap and i dont need the maby Gods trying to teach you to rely on him cause im actully relying on my self more than ever cause all anybody wants to do is pray.oh ill pray for you but i wont ask you if i can take you anywhere because its raining and you and your baby has to walk in the rain,but i will judge you for takeing your baby out in the rain.Im so sick and tierd of all the fake people out there.tney care but you havent talked to any of them in a week and when you do its cause they need something from you.I hate life...if it werent for my son i swear i would just kill myself.i dont always feel this way but rightnow im so lonly inside i just want to die,and scream and hide.
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My heart goes out to you.

Gracious, Heavenly Father, I pray for this young woman and her family. Lord I lift her cry to you. We don't always understand why you put us through the trial we face but we have faith that is all for your glory. Lord, your child is hurting and needs you now. I pray that you would place your hands upon her, pick her up and carry her. And Lord, place your hands on her husband. He is tormented with terrible thoughts that we know are not your will. Tears flow from your child. Father, I pray that you walk with her. Fill her with the Holy Spirit and let her know you are control and you will not fail her.

I pray this in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

This is the best I can offer. But the best Christ can offer you is yet to come. He will raise you from these ashes in glory. Be still and know that He is God. We don't always see it, but He works in our lives everyday. Trust in Him and know He is in control. Please hang in there. You are doing everything you can for your son. And for that reason, you are an amazing mother! May the Lord bless you greatly!

God Bless,

BA
 
RickyZ

RickyZ

Senior Member
#9
Sep 20, 2012
9,635
787
113
#9
James 4:4
Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? Whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God.

1 John 2:15
Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.

John 15:19
If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you.

John 12:25
Anyone who loves their life will lose it, while anyone who hates their life in this world will keep it for eternal life.

2 Corinthians 10
That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
 
I

iveseenworse

Guest
#10
#10
you are going through a lot right now, but you sound like a strong person. the people talking to you seem, idk, uncaring, detached. but God doesnt give up, keep talking to Him. i pray for you, your husband, and son. i pray an encourager come into your life. ty Lord.
 
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Depleted

Guest
#11
#11
deesandpooh said:
My husbands been gone to the hospital for over a week and a half now.hes been diagnosed with scizoaffective disorder and bipolar.He thinks he has put me up as an idol in his life and Gods takeing me away from him.The doctors wont tell me anything because of policys and any imformation i get i get from his mom.i had to quit my job and dont even know how anythings going to get paid.its hard when your trying tk keep everything together and you dont know weither to stay at a place where you have no friends are try to find a way back where i came from wich is over 3,000 miles away.I dont even know if my husbands comeing back are if he is leaveing forever.I know your sjppose to be with each other to sickness and health richer are poorer but i dont even know if he plans on bieng with me when he gets back and we have a two year old son together.Its been 5 days and the medicine they have been giveing him isent even helping.when his motber mentioned me to him he just got upset and told her she knows he cant have anything to do with me are he will be punished.He was my best friend and know im left all alone with no help...no friends... no job...no car...i know people are like stop complaning blah blah blah but i dont need that.i already feel like low life piece of crap and i dont need the maby Gods trying to teach you to rely on him cause im actully relying on my self more than ever cause all anybody wants to do is pray.oh ill pray for you but i wont ask you if i can take you anywhere because its raining and you and your baby has to walk in the rain,but i will judge you for takeing your baby out in the rain.Im so sick and tierd of all the fake people out there.tney care but you havent talked to any of them in a week and when you do its cause they need something from you.I hate life...if it werent for my son i swear i would just kill myself.i dont always feel this way but rightnow im so lonly inside i just want to die,and scream and hide.
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Your husband suffers from two very-real illnesses. He is in there. He is also dwelling with the two illnesses, so some of what he says is him, and some of it is the illnesses. Be thankful he is in a hospital being treated. My dad has dementia, and because of the stupid laws in our land, he isn't being treated for it, because he doesn't want to be. Or, really, his illness doesn't want to be. That is something like my dad and yet not entirely my dad, so I have to sort who is doing the talking -- Dad or the dementia.

Yeah, I know. I don't always know which it is either, so I do know I'm telling you that, and yet that doesn't really completely answer your question. But your husband is getting treatment, so that's a good thing.

But, you're bad for him? Does that make any kind of logical sense to you? Sure, emotionally, part of you is thinking it might have been something you said or did that drove him there, but logically speaking, does that make sense? He has two very real diseases. You can no more cause them than you can cause the Titanic to reemerge from the bottom of the ocean. You're just not that powerful to cause such things, so keep thinking this our intellectually, not emotionally.

As for what he says now, dismiss it. Don't take it to heart anymore than you would take it to heart if you saw him in delirium and he said there was a scarecrow and tinman in the room talking to him. He is in delirium. Until he gets out of it, nothing he says should be taken to heart.

And, yes, I know that's easier said than done, but aim for that.

The medications aren't working yet. So, then you know what he is saying doesn't count. You ARE his wife. Did he love you before all this happened? That's the man you married. This is that same man but very sick. Until the medications work, assume he still loves you and live accordingly.

Sure, panic. But panic constructively. Right now you're married and with a two year old, but your husband is away for a while and unable to help. Keep what you need -- your two year old, a dwelling place, everything you and your daughter need -- but hunker down for the long haul. You were before. You were aiming in the right direction before -- Welfare.

It's a good thing. They'll pay for the healthcare, so that's off your back. They give food stamps, so you're okay with food. Apply for WIC, so your two-year-old has all the food she needs. Contact your electric company. You know this. You've been broke before. They will work out a payment plan. I don't know about where you live, but where I live we have a program to pay for a month's worth of heat for free. It's called LIHEAP. It's a grant, so it doesn't have to be paid back, but it's for people who cannot pay their heating bills during winter. And we actually had something called "an energy audit" for free from our electric company. It was part of their strings to put us on a program for the poor, so our electric bill didn't fluctuate with the seasons, but it was affordable every month. Added bonus -- because of the energy audit, out electric company gave us a free frig and a free a/c. (Downside, they were both cheap pieces of junk, so only lasted two years, but, hey, two years was the length of time it took us to get on our feet again, so it was still a good deal. lol) The energy audit also taught us how to use energy more efficiently, so cut our bill by 25%. REALLY good deal!

(And, yes, people who cannot pay for their own electricity are still amazing people. Take care of yourself and your toddler and that IS amazing.)

If you need stuff -- stuff for the house or clothes or toys or anything else you might need -- go to Freecycle Network and see if anyone is giving it away. And if no one is, then ask. The downside is, you need to pick up whatever the person is giving away, which might be tough without a car, but if it's worth it, it's worth figuring out how to bring home. I live in a city, so I have two other options -- taxis or carrier services. I've used both in my lifetime. (Oddly, the carrier services is usually cheaper, if you just want something to be picked up.) And, just so you know, on a very rare occasion people are giving away their cars. I have no idea how good the cars were, since I didn't need one, but I've seen cars on there on a very rare occasion.

This is not the time to be too proud to ask for what you need. Get to know your neighbors for rides to the store. Ask your church for help when you need it.

My husband had a bad heart attack right before Thanksgiving, so I'm in hunker down mode too. I do what I have to, don't worry about what I don't have to, and will call a church I don't even belong to when the time comes, because when hubby comes home, he'll need a bed in our living room, and I can't bring down his full-sized mattress, nor can I carry our sectional sofa upstairs on my own. He HATES asking others for help, but tough-nookie! I have to do what I have to do to get ready for his return. (Both of us are disabled, so our home is a mess because we haven't been able to treat it good since we've both been disabled. That's why he hates people coming in. I do too, for the same reason, but, he's more important than my embarrassment.)

You need to get ready for his return too, but while he's gone worry about what you need first.

In 2002-2003, hubby got sick and got chemo. I'm already disabled, so at that time we lived on $839 a month with a $550 mortgage and we made it, (and, yes, we got to keep our house too), because I learned quick how to get what we need when we needed it. And I've learned how to make-do when we have no other choice. So, if you need help with anything that hasn't been covered here, feel free to PM me.

But, yes, you're still his wife, what he says doesn't count, and he's out of the picture for a little while, so start doing what you need to do to take care of you and your toddler. You can have the pity party when you have some down time. (And, oh yeah. Really scheduled in the pity party. You do deserve it, but you are Mom so have to schedule it after your toddler is soundly asleep with a light that can be turned off, a full tummy, and a warm place to live. Deal with needs before having the well deserved pity party.)
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#12
#12
blondieindahouse said:
Are you currently his wife according to law of your state? Why would your mom be privy to info ? How old are you?
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Because the US has enacted laws that says the person who mentally cannot make his/her own decisions still has full rights to make those decisions. The same reason families cannot force crazy people ready to go on a shooting spree into a mental hospital and the same reason my father -- who has no idea he's not eating, he's drinking two dozen beers a day for nourishment, who hasn't taken a shower in half a year, or changed his clothes in several months, who has no idea his house is leaking like a sieve because he's not maintaining it, so he has black mold, who has very little room to walk because of his hoarding, who just bought a new lawnmower because he used the last one to run over logs he burnt up unaware when he set the wood pile on fire, and then he destroyed the new one by running over door mats, is still allowed to stay in his house.

While everyone was sleeping the lawmakers created some very stupid laws. Oddly enough, no one still wants to deal with that fact even after the evidence is in how dangerous these crazy people are when left alone. Don't blame her. Blame yourself and the government! Blame all of us for not doing anything about this crap long time ago.
 
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Depleted

Guest
#13
#13
deesandpooh said:
I had to quit my job because my husband got put in a mental institution and i had no one to sit for my son.our car just stopped working.
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Ask your pastor if he knows anyone who can check out your car for free. (Or, if you can afford it, maybe a nice lunch.) I spent 6 months walking to and from the grocery store in winter time when our car broke down. Worse yet, it broke down across the street from our auto service people, and, had I known, all it needed was a new battery! (I hate carrying groceries through snow! lol) It doesn't hurt to get someone to look at it.

Don't have a pastor? Then get one! Join a church quickly, because you'll need God and the church through all of this.
 
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deesandpooh

Guest
#14
#14
My hubby called today.first time he called in the two weekshes been gone.definatly an ansered prayer.
 
Tinkerbell725

Tinkerbell725

Senior Member
#15
Jul 19, 2014
4,216
1,179
113
Philippines Age 40
#15
God will make a way when there seems to be no way. Be strong, you are young and healthy. Let the storm take its time, meanwhile, ask for helping hands and just do your best ,and you will see that God is our rainbow in the storms of life. This is turning point, embrace it and accept it with open arms for it will only make you stronger. God's grace is sufficient for you. In your weakness, His power is made perfect. Praying for you. God bless
 
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deesandpooh

Guest
#16
#16
Thanks for your prayers everyone.my hubby is doing much better now.
 
I

iveseenworse

Guest
#17
#17
sounds better but ill keep praying, you still have needs. i gave up my car due to my MS or i'd give you a ride, ha. i pray for your marriage, car, son and overall well being.
 
S

skylove7

Guest
#18
#18
deesandpooh said:
Thanks for your prayers everyone.my hubby is doing much better now.
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Wonderful news Deesandpooh!
Praise God! Praise God!

Also Iveseenworse....I am so sorry to hear of your MS. I will be praying for you.
God bless you all!
 
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Depleted

Guest
#19
#19
deesandpooh said:
Thanks for your prayers everyone.my hubby is doing much better now.
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How about you? You still have little to no money and a two year old daughter to take care of. How are you two doing?
 
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