Hi sounds like the enemie is seeking to draw you deeper and deeper into sin and since you fell with the other guy you willpower has been weakened and if your not careful you will fall into the same thing again.You marriage is in grave danger and whatever pleasure you experienced via these guys,belive me...it will only end in pain,loss,regret and your marriage could fall apart.
You say even thought nothing's happened with this other person but you say the conversations aren't about good things which makes me think that your potentially playing with fire and even though if feels kinda nice..satan is deceiving you through all this and is after your marriage and your sanity.
God doesn't want you to loose everything and he truly wants to set you free.I have been in situations myself like this and I have just cried out to god and was completely honest with him and he has delivered me from the wicked plans of the enemie.
You say your husband is awesome?..well try to think how you would feel if this awesome husband founded out?How would you feel if this awesome husband looses respect for you and decides to leave you because he just cannot be with you anymore?How would you feel if this awesome husband was no longer in your life and you have to deal with the aftermath of in laws,friends and family members finding out what had happened?The pain,regret,shame!!!
I get the sense that you really don't want to fall into sin again and want to be free,yet at the same time you're finding yourself slipping down this same party again and only you know what it feels like to be you at this time.I have seen this same patten before in the lives of others and this is clearly the work of the enemie,so it's not by chance that your finding yourself being tempted in this same area again.
Even though you say your husband is awesome are you feeling fofilled in this marriage?..bored?..lacking intimacy ect..coz if you were feeling for filled ect in your marriage then you wouldn't fall in the first place!..Yet I know that a married woman can fall into sexual sin more easily if she is receiving something from outside her marriage ie affection,love,excitement,care..ect ect..which she perceives as not getting from the marriage.So what's the status quo?
Please please think carefully about the long term impact of it all and not just the short term.Remember god and satan knows what's going on even if your husband doesn't and satan wants to destroy everything but god wants to prevent you from falling and save you marriage,your reputation among your friends and family ect.
yet practically why don't you cut all ties with this person and cease to engage in conversation with them?(u may struggle with this)
This person has been sent by the enemie and is being influenced by him and their only purpose it to tempt you and draw you into sexual sin which will become a trap for you!
God understands what you're going through and wants to set you free and listens to your cry.I am sure you would rather not fall into sin again but be set free from the trap being laid before you.
read John 8 1-11
i will pray that god delivers you in Jesus name.
stewart
