Payback.......

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Bowling300

Guest
#1
#1
I'm so sorry for verbally abusing my spouse horribly over the years I was treated horribly by my Father for many , many years. I now am on the verge of losing my spouse and family. I want God to please forgive me as well as my spouse.
I have recognized my issue and want another chance to prove myself I've done better for 7 days so far and ask for prayers during the process............
 
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thebesttrees

Guest
#2
#2
I will pray for divine confirmations. You have done better for seven days and wherefore must the loved ones of God associate in affectionate fellowship with stranger and friend alike, showing forth to all the utmost loving-kindness, disregarding the degree of their capacity, never asking whether they deserve to be loved. Let them never be defeated by the malice of the people, by their aggression and their hate, no matter how intense. If others hurl their darts against you, offer them milk and honey in return; if they poison your lives, sweeten their souls; if they injure you, teach them how to be comforted; if they inflict a wound upon you, be a balm to their sores; if they sting you, hold to their lips a refreshing cup.
 
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crmvet

Senior Member
#3
Jul 4, 2013
4,651
1,229
113
#3
Philippians 4:13
 
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skylove7

Guest
#4
#4
Praying for you Bowling300
Remember your first step is that you are already sorry.....
Some people in life are not!
May God touch your heart....and you continue on your path in love and Jesus
Best hopes for you
Amen
 
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Depleted

Guest
#5
#5
Bowling300 said:
I'm so sorry for verbally abusing my spouse horribly over the years I was treated horribly by my Father for many , many years. I now am on the verge of losing my spouse and family. I want God to please forgive me as well as my spouse.
I have recognized my issue and want another chance to prove myself I've done better for 7 days so far and ask for prayers during the process............
Click to expand...
If you but ask, God forgives.

That doesn't mean there won't be consequences tough. I'm glad you recognize your issues. There is no hope until that big step. Have you taken the next step -- get help? Get counseling. You've been trained this way and then accepted it as a part of you for so long, the only way of changing is to get counseling to learn how to change. Preferably Christian counseling, since the counselor knows how to live through God. (And that is Christian counseling, not merely a counselor who happens to be a Christian, but still counsels in the worldly ways.)
 
levi85

levi85

Senior Member
#6
Jul 2, 2013
8,578
2,180
113
#6
Lord bles bwling300 and spouse to reconcile. And bless their family life. In Jesus name, Amen!
 
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wwjd_kilden

Guest
#7
#7
I am going to be a bit harsh here:

If you have been verbally abusing her over several years, it it probably not a matter of a "second" chance, but rather a N'th chance. God forgives, but if you keep saying sorry and don't change, that won't help you or your spouse. As the above poster said: Have you asked for help (beyond the internet) ?
 
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iveseenworse

Guest
#8
#8
prayers for forgiveness and repaired marriage.
 
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Bowling300

Guest
#9
#9
Hello All since I posted this a little while back I've reached out to God and my I've gone to see a marriage counselor twice , my wife went to our last session. Since we have agreed to watch a few tv programs together and a movie at home and are going on a date this coming up week. It's been 22 days now since I've yelled , screamed and flew off the handle. I pray everyday for my Wife and Family ........She stills says it's not over yet she is not ready to have our relationship in any touché feelyy type
I want to hold and comfort her yet she says not at this time......feeling hurt :((((
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#10
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
9,601
113
#10
Bowling300 said:
Hello All since I posted this a little while back I've reached out to God and my I've gone to see a marriage counselor twice , my wife went to our last session. Since we have agreed to watch a few tv programs together and a movie at home and are going on a date this coming up week. It's been 22 days now since I've yelled , screamed and flew off the handle. I pray everyday for my Wife and Family ........She stills says it's not over yet she is not ready to have our relationship in any touché feelyy type
I want to hold and comfort her yet she says not at this time......feeling hurt :((((
Click to expand...
You can't possibly expect that she's going to forgive you right away. Stop trying to push yourself on her. Don't initiate dates, don't be touchy feely. Ask her what SHE wants you to do. If she says leave her alone, then leave her alone. You can't make her want to come back to you. Only God can fix this, you can't and neither can she. But you need to accept it if getting back together is NOT what God's will for the two of you.
 
penknight

penknight

Senior Member
#11
Jan 6, 2014
811
26
28
#11
Certainly. Today's service was about this sort of thing. The pastor mentioned forgiving others because we have done wrong ourselves.
 
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iveseenworse

Guest
#12
#12
saying more prayers for you now.
 
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Depleted

Guest
#13
#13
Bowling300 said:
Hello All since I posted this a little while back I've reached out to God and my I've gone to see a marriage counselor twice , my wife went to our last session. Since we have agreed to watch a few tv programs together and a movie at home and are going on a date this coming up week. It's been 22 days now since I've yelled , screamed and flew off the handle. I pray everyday for my Wife and Family ........She stills says it's not over yet she is not ready to have our relationship in any touché feelyy type
I want to hold and comfort her yet she says not at this time......feeling hurt :((((
Click to expand...
Yeah, most abusers feel guilty over it afterward, and then most want their spouse to keep forgiving them in between doing it yet again. Some last up to a few months before reverting.

So, why do you think she should believe it this time? And does "touchy feely" mean you're not getting any? You're the cause of her needing comfort -- real comfort, not merely sex. So, nope, not up to you to do the comforting. (Like asking the bear for a hug after it attacks you.)

As said before, it's good you're working at this, but the consequences keep coming even after the forgiveness from God. And God is being very gracious to you. Most spouses would have walked and never returned. She's not there, but keep pushing to get sex, and she will be. Sex is enjoyable to women, but the only comfort from it comes from the husband's love, not the arousal.
 
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shebamo

Guest
#14
#14
Praying for you and all things are possible with God. That being said, consider it might take just as many years of treating her right as the # of years you abused her to convince her you have changed and for her to start loving the new man I hope you become in Christ. Kind of like having a new husband with out getting divorced. Do you love her enough to let her have that. That does not mean she can keep beating you over the head with what you did. It means you both kneel before God and allow him to start changing you both into the new man and wife he wants you to be in Him. When she wants your touching she'll let you know and don't make the mistake of hugs = sex. You are forgiven but you have to pay the price maybe.
 
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