Dealing with Cyber Bullies

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Aqua11

Junior Member
Jan 25, 2016
29
3
0
#1
So recently on another forum a couple people have taken it upon themselves to create new account to anonymously spam the entire forum so that it is completely unusable. Often using vulgar language and saying disturbing and disgusting things. They do this for a few hours at night when we would all like to be chatting and catching up with each other and then the next day begin yelling at us and calling us names and getting upset that we voiced our annoyances with their behavior. I have tried so hard to cut ties with this forum because I keep going back because of the few wonderful people on there that I can't connect with anywhere else.
The site is a forgotten project that is still in beta and there are only mods every so often, usually only if we report something.

These people say the most hurtful and frankly dumb things and there just isn't a way to get rid of them. I'm currently in the process of trying to move everyone who does not spam to another forum.

Please pray that I can have the willpower to cut this toxicity out of my life and that God would soften the hearts of these people and open their eyes to what they are doing to other people.

Thanks. :D
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,862
9,581
113
#2
Are you talking here on CC, or a different site? If they're saying "hurtful dumb things", then quit being dumb and stop going there..
 
Dec 1, 2014
1,430
27
0
#3
Lady Blue...amen, sister..good advice..who is forcing someone to go to places that make them feel hurtful and dumb? Seems to me that COMMON sense is a rarity these days! lol
 

Aqua11

Junior Member
Jan 25, 2016
29
3
0
#4
Are you talking here on CC, or a different site? If they're saying "hurtful dumb things", then quit being dumb and stop going there..
No no, a different site.
Lady Blue...amen, sister..good advice..who is forcing someone to go to places that make them feel hurtful and dumb? Seems to me that COMMON sense is a rarity these days! lol
Like I said. I really have tried...
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,862
9,581
113
#5
Aqua, the bible says that for those who will not listen, shake the dust off your feet and move on. I suggest you stop going to that site. If you want to keep in touch with the few good ones there, do it on social media or through email. No matter where you go, especially online, there's gonna be spammers and trolls and trouble makers.. Delete your account on that site and move on.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#6
To OP
Why not just collect emails from all those you are interested in, then coordinate a move that way?

To the other two commenters, you that are calling her dumb and treating her like an idiot, yet you can't even comprehend the words in her first post. Blue, you call her dumb, yet the FIRST LINE of her post says 'another forum' and then you ask if it's here? Who are you to call others dumb when you can't even comprehend the first sentence she wrote?

And she said she is in the process of trying to move the good people to another forum, which i imagine takes time, yet in spite of her TELLING YOU she's trying to move the others so she can leave the site you feel the need to tell her, not once, but TWICE, she needs to leave the site. Yet another brilliant move on your part.
I love how you are so critical and insulting of her, when you Clearly missed her own words. This isn't 'tough love', it's just attacking. But yet that seems to increasingly be your reputation here.

So, Aqua, don't let her, or either of them get to you.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,862
9,581
113
#7
I was neither treating her like an idiot, nor calling her dumb. She did say another forum, but there are ALOT of forums on THIS site, that's why I asked what site she meant. No one here has said she is dumb. Her ACTION of keeping on going to that site is dumb, if there's only hurtful things going on. I do NOT think that the OP herself is dumb, or an idiot. Suggesting that someone's ACTIONS are dumb is NOT the same as calling the PERSON dumb. I applaud Aqua for being smart enough to realize that the site isn't good for her or her friends.

As usual, Ugly, you point out the speck in someone elses eye, while ignoring the log in your own. I've seen plenty of posts of YOURS where you treat people as if they're dumb or stupid.


I didn't tell her she NEEDS to leave the site. I SUGGESTED she leave the site, and SUGGESTED some alternative options to keep in touch with her friends. In no way did I "attack her" or use "tough love". And I wasn't being critical OR insulting. In case you didn't notice the OP's age, she is A KID, so OBVIOUSLY a site like that isn't where she needs to be.

To echo your own comment, I love how you are so critical and insulting of me (and others) when clearly you read your own interpretation into my and others posts.
 

Aqua11

Junior Member
Jan 25, 2016
29
3
0
#8
To OP
Why not just collect emails from all those you are interested in, then coordinate a move that way?

To the other two commenters, you that are calling her dumb and treating her like an idiot, yet you can't even comprehend the words in her first post. Blue, you call her dumb, yet the FIRST LINE of her post says 'another forum' and then you ask if it's here? Who are you to call others dumb when you can't even comprehend the first sentence she wrote?

And she said she is in the process of trying to move the good people to another forum, which i imagine takes time, yet in spite of her TELLING YOU she's trying to move the others so she can leave the site you feel the need to tell her, not once, but TWICE, she needs to leave the site. Yet another brilliant move on your part.
I love how you are so critical and insulting of her, when you Clearly missed her own words. This isn't 'tough love', it's just attacking. But yet that seems to increasingly be your reputation here.

So, Aqua, don't let her, or either of them get to you.
Thank you. :)
 

levi85

Senior Member
Jul 2, 2013
8,578
2,180
113
#9
Yes Lord we agree and ask this. Please bless , in Jesus name, Amen!
 

Aqua11

Junior Member
Jan 25, 2016
29
3
0
#10
Thank you all for your input. It is my every intention to leave the other site should the discord continue. However I feel a strong desire to stay in the lives of those I have befriended and as a Christian I feel should be doing something to witness to these bullies. But it is impossible (if it is not God's will) to get the deaf to hear.
This is why I posted, to ask for prayer primarily for the bullies who don't see what they are doing as wrong, I wish so much that God would open their minds and soften their hearts.

Also just a note about the other site, it is for and filled with high school students. It was meant to be a study community but without adult guidance it can get a bit out of hand.
While i appreciate the advice to leave, I'm already trying to do that without losing all my friends.
As a homeschooled agoraphobic with social anxiety, my online friends are extremely precious to me as they are my main source of socilization on a day to day basis.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,862
9,581
113
#11
Is the other place you're trying to move to, also only for high school students? I am not sure, but some sites might let you self-appoint some mods. Too bad you couldn't set up a forum of your own and appoint your own mods. I'm sure you could but I don't know how to make a website.. :)
 
W

wwjd_kilden

Guest
#12
If you do stay there, and they do these things in chat: Take screenshots and send them to the mods ,
that way what happens is documented.

I know that leaving a community is difficult, even painful (I've left two), but sometimes one just has to.
(If it were possible I'd for instance ban myself from the bible discussion here and just hand in the misc/ singles forum :p)
 
S

Stone5524

Guest
#13
I used to engage in arguments with people online who mocked and fought individuals who simply stated they believed in god.

After a while of this I realized that engaging in the argument was only causing a lack of peace in my own mind. The internet is a dirty place, and there's little wonder why its become that way, because people can usually express their views with anonymity. This lacks the usual restraint that people would normally possess if they thought others could see them. What they fail to understand is that anonymity on the internet does not translate to anonymity with god. They will understand in time.

The argument with them is futile, and if you don't believe in spiritual warfare you may want to study it a bit. The internet in itself is the perfect tool for evil spirit to expand its dominion over the individual. The natural desire of the soul is to feel like it belongs, and you'd need to be blind in order to not see the commkn theme of vitriol, hate, disgust, anger, and all things in direct conflict with god online. People see that disgust and it only takes a little spiritual shove for them to feel like there is nothing wrong with joining in.

These are nothing more than followers following the blind fueled by aarogance and ego.

Cut ties where you can and simplify matters as much as you can. Create direct lines of correspondence rather than leaving an open door for anyone to see if you wish to eliminate the invasion of evil spirit, just as you wouldn't leave a second door open to your own soul. Evil spirit will always try to find a way in.
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#14
So recently on another forum a couple people have taken it upon themselves to create new account to anonymously spam the entire forum so that it is completely unusable. Often using vulgar language and saying disturbing and disgusting things. They do this for a few hours at night when we would all like to be chatting and catching up with each other and then the next day begin yelling at us and calling us names and getting upset that we voiced our annoyances with their behavior. I have tried so hard to cut ties with this forum because I keep going back because of the few wonderful people on there that I can't connect with anywhere else.
The site is a forgotten project that is still in beta and there are only mods every so often, usually only if we report something.

These people say the most hurtful and frankly dumb things and there just isn't a way to get rid of them. I'm currently in the process of trying to move everyone who does not spam to another forum.

Please pray that I can have the willpower to cut this toxicity out of my life and that God would soften the hearts of these people and open their eyes to what they are doing to other people.

Thanks. :D
Lord, please give Aqua your strength and your wisdom on how to deal with that mess. That site has already been killed, but help her to find a safer way to remain friends with those who have helped her. And give her the strength to stay away from there.

And, since I'm asking for your help with cyber bullies anyway, I ask for your abilities to help us deal with this issue, and, if it is your will, an international law that truly helps those of us who come online would be good, because the Communications Act was written so poorly and written for business owners, not users. A little more fairness would be nice.

Amen.

Aqua, just to let you know, cyberbullying can, and does, cause physical harm. What attacks our emotions, if left alone, will attack our bodies. I missed most of a summer once because I was literally sick from online bullies. I was 50 years old, so this isn't something you learn how to handle better when you get older. Getting out from under it was the only thing that stopped the physical pain. And, yeah, kind of an Internet junkie myself, so, if you don't have the strength to leave and stay gone, that's why we have God. We don't have the strength to resist evil. He gives it to us.
 
C

coby

Guest
#15
So recently on another forum a couple people have taken it upon themselves to create new account to anonymously spam the entire forum so that it is completely unusable. Often using vulgar language and saying disturbing and disgusting things. They do this for a few hours at night when we would all like to be chatting and catching up with each other and then the next day begin yelling at us and calling us names and getting upset that we voiced our annoyances with their behavior. I have tried so hard to cut ties with this forum because I keep going back because of the few wonderful people on there that I can't connect with anywhere else.
The site is a forgotten project that is still in beta and there are only mods every so often, usually only if we report something.

These people say the most hurtful and frankly dumb things and there just isn't a way to get rid of them. I'm currently in the process of trying to move everyone who does not spam to another forum.

Please pray that I can have the willpower to cut this toxicity out of my life and that God would soften the hearts of these people and open their eyes to what they are doing to other people.

Thanks. :D
Just ask all the normal ones to go to another forum. I've seen it happening on another forum with this problem that the whole group all of a sudden left to another place. One or 2 just sent pm's if you wanted to move there too. I'm sure you're not tbe only one who gets bothered by this. You can pray for the cyberbullies but you don't have to talk to them. I know what it is. I left one forum because of this and all of a sudden all my friends were gone. I asked them to go somewhere else, warned them, but they didn't care or listen. Oh well then why should I spend my time there. Months later I saw a thread where one or two said they missed certain people but LOL the others thought I was a sock. Spent 2 years talking to them, thought they were my friends. Lol they couldn't care less, so I'm glad I found this forum. Also I saw another new forum where a lot of others who also left or were banned went to. That's the thing you can have with forums. I couldn't just leave, was way too addicted, but God told me to leave, it was toxic, so I made sure they banned me LOL.
 
S

sydlit

Guest
#16
Just ask all the normal ones to go to another forum. I've seen it happening on another forum with this problem that the whole group all of a sudden left to another place. One or 2 just sent pm's if you wanted to move there too. I'm sure you're not tbe only one who gets bothered by this. You can pray for the cyberbullies but you don't have to talk to them. I know what it is. I left one forum because of this and all of a sudden all my friends were gone. I asked them to go somewhere else, warned them, but they didn't care or listen. Oh well then why should I spend my time there. Months later I saw a thread where one or two said they missed certain people but LOL the others thought I was a sock. Spent 2 years talking to them, thought they were my friends. Lol they couldn't care less, so I'm glad I found this forum. Also I saw another new forum where a lot of others who also left or were banned went to. That's the thing you can have with forums. I couldn't just leave, was way too addicted, but God told me to leave, it was toxic, so I made sure they banned me LOL.
Lord, please give Aqua your strength and your wisdom on how to deal with that mess. That site has already been killed, but help her to find a safer way to remain friends with those who have helped her. And give her the strength to stay away from there.

And, since I'm asking for your help with cyber bullies anyway, I ask for your abilities to help us deal with this issue, and, if it is your will, an international law that truly helps those of us who come online would be good, because the Communications Act was written so poorly and written for business owners, not users. A little more fairness would be nice.

Amen.

Aqua, just to let you know, cyberbullying can, and does, cause physical harm. What attacks our emotions, if left alone, will attack our bodies. I missed most of a summer once because I was literally sick from online bullies. I was 50 years old, so this isn't something you learn how to handle better when you get older. Getting out from under it was the only thing that stopped the physical pain. And, yeah, kind of an Internet junkie myself, so, if you don't have the strength to leave and stay gone, that's why we have God. We don't have the strength to resist evil. He gives it to us.
This is some good advice. And a very nice prayer, lynn, (btw, hope hub is coming along, my prayers and offer still stands)
This issue astounds me that it seems so abundant on 'christian chats' (this is my only exp. with one), but what's funny, but sad, is often the advice given comes from the same bullies. It's very sick and slick, but they get off on bullying, but will act as though it bothers them, so they play the consolation card in order to appease and gain a little trust, but that gives them an open door for more dirty tactics down the line. It's very insidious, but to them it's a game, and they spend an awful lot of time honing their skills...you'll see them involved in everything...it makes them harder to expose in a way. Those who's job it is to know will tell you that sometimes even criminals will 'hide in plain site', thinking no one would suspect them. And with the general public, it often works. It's not much different on line. Just try to remember that just because someone may treat some ppl nice, or say or do good things, even seem to Help you, doesn't give them the right to treat you like a piece of crap.
I've been on the receiving end of this more times than I can count, and have had to learn the hard wat that some ppl are just hurting, so they get relief by hurting others, through bullying, ignoring, gossip, pm rumors, etc., .... they often are trying to build their own self-esteem by trying to tear yours down. And when they suspect you're on to them, it really gets them upset, they often ramp it up, and then after that, go into defense mode, manipulating others to do their bullying for them, until you either apologize for their bullying, or leave in confusion or disgust. You wind up wanting some answers, while they've often moved on. Some just don't know the damage they do, they really think it's a game, and would never believe they're as bad as this, maybe they think they just have a mean streak but they think they have a right to it. (Some are just evil, too,I guess), but either way, the results can be very harmful to ppl, emotionally, spiritually, and as someone said, even physically it can take it's toll. As hard as it is, though, we need to pray for these ppl. I've made my share of mistakes, and have tried to make amends, and if there's some I still owe, I need help there, I 'm not always sure of the right approach, or if it's even called for, but I'm always open to hear if there's something I have to say or do, I'm not always real good at seeing these things. As someone Also pointed out, God sees all of this. All of us. And perhaps we're all a bit guilty on some level, I know I am, and have asked the Lord for a better way to be, and to not seek to retaliate. They will see sooner or later. Meanwhile, try not to let it get you bitter, that's how they want you to react, since they're doing the enemies work, intentional or not, whether they admit it or not. Keep yourself in the love of God, don' t be overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.
I've already pm'ed prayers as long as your arm and gotten a one word response.
I've posted publicly, mixing my prayers or just kind words or encouragement with others, and seen the posts immediately before and after mine be given a bunch of likes and thank yous by name were posted, and I was completely ignored. I've sent words of scripture and good cheer and offered a hand of help, real help, not just on-line, and been ignored. Not even a thanks I apprecite it. Nothing. I've been engaging in some light banter with a dozen ppl on a thread, and suddenly they all jump off at the same time, (I guess it's those little pm's you referred to), only to all be posting in another. And they not only think this isn't noticed, but they congradulate themselves and even think this is how christians should treat others ppl, christian or not. Sadly, you will experience this type of bullying just being on-line, but I am praying that the Lord will use this as an example for me to try harder to do good, as ther's many decent ppl who need help or are worthy for friendship and hopefully will be there for you, too, if you're down and need someone. I will include the OPer in my prayers, and those she requested, tho I'll admit, I'm not a real strong pray-er or anything, just a simple prayer that God would protect our hearts from hurt, and interrupt the bullies and their tactics and help them see the goodness of Jesus and His love and forgiveness for us all, and that we could spend our energy trying to love and help each other as much as we could hurting, ignoring, or bullying, and actually have a lot more fun for longer. (Being mean and nasty gets old fast, that's why bullies are always looking for allies, and new and different ways to hurt others. It's almost like a drug/gang to them).
But keep the faith, Jesus loves you, and He's the ultimate 'anti-bully'. :)
 
C

coby

Guest
#17
On one forum there were paid trolls, on purpose bullying christians so that it would come to an argument and thus more hits and more money. I was able to warn one catholic woman who I saw they were also bullying with sock accounts. Most didn't believe me. The ones that knew found it out for themselves and left and tried to warn people. Took a while before I found out that that was the case. Then it all made sense and I exposed them in public and got banned of course. Such a weird forum. It was called christian. They'd even ban Jesus. If you helped someone who was depressed or something you got a warning or when you shared your testimony and tried to tell people about Jesus you got a ban. Weirdest thing I've ever seen.
 
S

sydlit

Guest
#18
On one forum there were paid trolls, on purpose bullying christians so that it would come to an argument and thus more hits and more money. I was able to warn one catholic woman who I saw they were also bullying with sock accounts. Most didn't believe me. The ones that knew found it out for themselves and left and tried to warn people. Took a while before I found out that that was the case. Then it all made sense and I exposed them in public and got banned of course. Such a weird forum. It was called christian. They'd even ban Jesus. If you helped someone who was depressed or something you got a warning or when you shared your testimony and tried to tell people about Jesus you got a ban. Weirdest thing I've ever seen.
Bizarre! See, this is new to me, 6 months, and it's been a real eye-opener. I'd like to join that site, just to do battle.
They actually pay ppl to argue with christians and it's a christian site?! I don't get it. I'm glad you got out and I'm glad you're here. I just wish there were more GENUINE christians and GENUINE friends on this site. The longer I'm here, the more phoniness is becoming transparent, and there's no doubt there's ppl here 24/7 that have an agenda of disruption, and also infiltrate and manipulate ppl and their posts. I do wish there was a better way to secure things, .... I'll tell you what I mean in a little while. Gotta go. :)
 

Aqua11

Junior Member
Jan 25, 2016
29
3
0
#19
Is the other place you're trying to move to, also only for high school students? I am not sure, but some sites might let you self-appoint some mods. Too bad you couldn't set up a forum of your own and appoint your own mods. I'm sure you could but I don't know how to make a website.. :)
It is. And it is actually one I set up myself using a free forum hosting site. I am the admin so I can add mods and help keep it calm, clean and troll free. :) While the original forum was down last night for some maintenance a lot more people jumped onto the new forum. I'm really hoping it will be used enough that I can leave the original site and still keep my friends.
 

Aqua11

Junior Member
Jan 25, 2016
29
3
0
#20
Lord, please give Aqua your strength and your wisdom on how to deal with that mess. That site has already been killed, but help her to find a safer way to remain friends with those who have helped her. And give her the strength to stay away from there.

And, since I'm asking for your help with cyber bullies anyway, I ask for your abilities to help us deal with this issue, and, if it is your will, an international law that truly helps those of us who come online would be good, because the Communications Act was written so poorly and written for business owners, not users. A little more fairness would be nice.

Amen.

Aqua, just to let you know, cyberbullying can, and does, cause physical harm. What attacks our emotions, if left alone, will attack our bodies. I missed most of a summer once because I was literally sick from online bullies. I was 50 years old, so this isn't something you learn how to handle better when you get older. Getting out from under it was the only thing that stopped the physical pain. And, yeah, kind of an Internet junkie myself, so, if you don't have the strength to leave and stay gone, that's why we have God. We don't have the strength to resist evil. He gives it to us.
Thank you so much. :D I am definitely relying on God to help me through this because there is no way I could ever do it alone. I don't think the bullies often realize the affect of their words, it's so easy to get swept away by the impersonal nature of the internet and forget the person behind the screen.