Reaching out

Hey everyone, I am a new Christian. I want to share my current struggle with you and am hoping for some feedback/advice/hope/so please read on and comment If you can relate or if you feel inspired. I'm 23, I was raised in a Christian family. I fell away at 13, left home. Sex, drugs, rock n roll.. That was my life. I eventually became a prostitute, then became a exotic dancer, and moved from Canaa to Las Vegas to start my adult video career. That was when God found a way to get through to me, when I was in Las vefas. Through dreams, and through family. My mom is really sick and just lost her soul mate on top of her illness, while taking care of my 3 young half siblings. I would call her and she would sound so... Just not ok. I was worried about her safety and health to say the least. She and my sister also discovered my plan to sign the contract with the adult video agency. They both reacted strongly against my desire to sign and become an adult star. My mom kept sending me these Christian audio teachings... They spoke to me. I decided to come home and help her, and walk with Jesus. I didn't sign the contract, and here I am caring for the 3 young children and sometimes her. It's so difficult to say no to the money! The glamour... The nice things.... The attention... The hair, the makeup, the clothes, Los angeles, Florida, oh there are so many things constantly calling my name, so many old connections and friends waiting with open doors and arms.... I'm struggling, BIG TIME with temptation to just go back for a week and make X amount, just one time... But I know what God thinks about workings of iniquity. But the struggle is so very real. My mind justifies and distorts things to the point where it seems ok but the little person deep down tells me to just get some other peoples opinions ask for help and support, because clearly I'm no match for myself and I need Gods help right now, and perhaps he can help me through you. Please comment, if you want or pray for me to resist temptation and for God to deliver me from Darkness and into light. Thank you. God Bless you.

There is nothing strange about the struggles you face.This is the cross every Christian has to carry.But its better that you carry with brethren around you to support.Join a Good Christian Fellowship,...
When you get time now and then pray and trouble God to give you a Good fellowship with nice caring Christians that take care of each other.You will be Loved and there will be so many around you to be Loved by you.Being in Prayer circles with other Christians who Pray, makes deliverance from Spiritual warfare(depression,sadness,etc) more easier.

Christian Life is sometimes like walking through dessert,but God has His way and its a Higher plan than we think.He has Big promises kept for you.Bitterness,depression and sadness,mixed with failures in life doesn't matter.Its all in between and its there to mold you.Just don't let go off Jesus no matter what; even if your whole body goes against your good desire to follow Lord(a baby learns to walk after falling down many times and crying many times).
Christian walk is not on comfort zones.Its struggling against carnal desires and winning and overcoming those desires by growing to personality of Jesus through His Holy Spirit.And don't think you are alone,because He went before you to prepare an eternal place for you in Heaven.
Don't give up on God no matter how much depressed you become.He will pull you through because Jesus Never Fails!
Years from now when you have become Strong in Christ you will Realize why God made you go through tough paths.

There is a time coming when we have to stand and face God in Judgement Day,then all that matters is not the comforts we had but How strong we are in Christ.It's Faith...!!
God will pull you through,because He gave His Life for you so that you must be His.You cannot find such a love anywhere in this world.Try to cling on to Him.He will see your desire to do Good(even through struggles you face).He will Strengthen you.
God Bless.

If you have fb check out a group called Fight The New Drug. The articles they post often have stories of girls who were in porn and how destructive it was. And even some ex porn producers share how they abuse and manipulate young girls. Violent porn is on the rise and it's not all faked. Porn helps fund human sex trafficking of women and little girls. Porn ruins marriages. Destroys lives. Infects people's spiritual walks.

So so if ruining the rest of your life, your kids future lives, becoming a play thing to be abused, used up and thrown away, to become a drug addict, to aid in ruining marriages, to help struggling Christians keep their sin addictions, to know your 'career' is partially responsible for 6 year old girls to be kidnapped and had sex with by grown men, sometimes 60 times a day, to lose all self worth and potentially feel that you turned your back on God is worth making some money, then go for it. And that's just Some of the way you would ruin your life. There are plenty more.
You see came and money but some of the most famous porn stars that have quit doing porn tell you it is Not glamorous at all. If you want to make 'real money' you Must do things you don't want to. That during takings you Will be abused by the male stars. They say less than 10% of the women in porn actually Enjoy it and are usually in pain and many times in tears, but it's all edited out. Most of the lesbian porn is by women who are Not lesbians but have to do it if they want to make money and continue getting work. If you choose to put a limit and never budge, you will not be called for more work.

Oh yeah. Racism is rampant in porn too. When you start porn you do the 'basics'. Standard sex stuff. Over time you have to be willing to move up a level and do something more extreme to get more money. So maybe go from normal sex to anal. You have to do lesbian, bdsm, etc... And the 'worse' the requirement the more you get paid for having to do such bad things. The 'final level'? The 'worst' thing that earns the most money? Sex with black men. Sex with black men is viewed as the worst thing you can do in porn.

I don't say that to be mean or put you down. I know how difficult tough financial situations are and how some things are such easy temptations. I just wanted to shine a light to show what lies behind the allure. It's not fame. Great sex. Not riches. It's abused crack whore who sell their self worth to keep themselves high so they can forget the pain and humiliation they suffer to make a few bucks. No glamour. Just addicts trying to hide from how horrible their life has become.
Liz that the mother you want to be for your kids? How will you feel in 10 years when your kids friend finds an old porn if you on the Internet and it spreads through school that your child's mom is a porn slut? Do you think your kid will be thinking about the couple hundred bucks that film paid you?

Anyways. I got a little carried away. (=
But if it steers you away from turning your back on God, your kids and yourself, then it's worth it. Hope something good comes along for you. God created you for better. Don't make a temporary choice that will ruin the rest of your life. Just keep looking, hold on and have faith. Wish you the best.

I can't say that I have walked the same road in life that you have. But I can say that I have did things in my life that I am ashamed of now. I used to have pleasure in sin, but now I am ashamed of it.

The devil does come by with temptations still, but he only shows us half pictures. He paints a pretty picture but leaves out the bad.

Try and think back on your old lifestyle not just the things that you found pleasure in, but the whole picture. How it made you feel about yourself...look at the good and the bad. Try to remember the day when Jesus found you. What type of situation was you in when you fell upon your knees and asked God to forgive you and give you a new life?

I can't speak for you but I was tired of sin, ashamed, heart broken and wanted a new life. I wanted peace and to walk in the light and love of the Lord because no matter what I tried in the world there was no peace or happiness. I had friends, but I never had a true friend like Jesus. I can call him up at anytime and he is always there. I know that he cares for me and is able to help me in any and all situations. There is nothing in this world that can ever compare to Jesus. He is all that we will ever need and he loves us and wants to help us.

I will pray for you and may God bless you and strengthen you through his love, power, and might.

Fat her God, we pray for Nomi, please hold her hand, and bring her out of this pit of darkness. She know this is wrong, but not able to leave this, we pray for your strength, knowledge and wisdom to help her overcome this evil. Please redeem and bless Nomi, in Jesus merciful name, Amen!
" If I gain the whole world and loose my soul,Mehta is the profit"
"it is better to be a doorkeeper, in the house of the Lord than to be king and queen, in th sat an so house"
" behold old things are passed away, and you are a new creature in Christ"
" wide is the gate, to hell, and narrow is the way to heaven"

God will give you his peace, Joy, salvation, everlasting, and will meet your needs, and protect with angels, He will use you for His glory, so follow Jesus not the adult industry.

will pray for you more, you will be a testimony to thousands, and crush the devil .

God bless!

Thank you so very much everyone for your prayers, advice and perceptions. having outside views on this matter really helps me to be objective, Thank you and God bless you.

i pray the Lord help you make wholesome decisions with your life and how you serve Him.

You seriously need to get out of the adult movie industry.