An Emergency with John again.

Depleted · May 29, 2016

John used the commode today. And when he was done, he was bleeding. Enough to scare the nurses, so they sent him to the ER. I was there with him, and he pushed to have lunch before he went.

And I spent time with him in the ER. The doctor there said it was just something like "road rash" (my word, since I can't pronounce or remember the medical word - but something as minor as a skin knee, jut inconveniently located) near his anal sphincter, no big deal, AND his blood count was up to 920 -- "normal" even for healthy men -- so we finally learned he was making his own blood. This was great news. All they had to do was wait four hours to get another blood sample before he was transferred back to the nursing home.

Yesterday, we found out they might keep him there for an extra week or two so he could go from there straight to home. He could be home by July 4th! We were elated, (although he's scared I might be too hopeful.)

So, I asked him to call me when he got settled back in, and I've been waiting for that call, not because I was worried about him bleeding, but because I was worried they weren't going to give him dinner tonight. (They have screwed up three meals in a row, so he hasn't had a full meal in a full day. I am still dressed, because I was going to take him something if they didn't feed him.)

He should be back by now, so I just called the nurses' station.

According to them, they're admitting him back into ICU because he's bleeding that badly in his intestines.

He just called. According to what he knows his second blood count was 850, so they sent him to ICU to watch him overnight only. Oh, BTW. He can't eat!

We didn't just go back one step. We just went back to January!

I cannot do this anymore, and yet what else can I do? He really cannot do this anymore. That hospital terrifies us by its incompetence! They really are back to dickering if he's bleeding in his intestines. The last time they played at this hunch for SIX weeks! They still don't know! He's got some inerrant blood vessels lining his intestines that can bleed whenever they want, but every time they scoped him (or used a camera) they weren't bleeding. They add "at that moment."

Pray! And pray I can pull this off without crying while I'm driving. And pray I can actually park the car without having to walk up three levels of a parking garage. And that's the easy stuff!

tourist · May 29, 2016

I'm not sure how much more you can take before breaking down. I'm very concerned for you. I need to pray.

blue_ladybug · May 29, 2016

Time to file an medical incompetence lawsuit against these guys. They've caused more harm than good to him. Lord, please help the doctors find the source of John's bleeding. And please allow him to return home before the 4th of July.. Amen.

notmyown · May 29, 2016

signed in to say i'm signing out to pray.

B1Davanda · May 29, 2016

Please, please, please, remember, no matter what happens, God is in control, He has not left you.
We were just mentioning on another thread, regarding healing, we don't know why some get in miracles, some slowly, some not at all in this life this side of heaven, but the Lord wants us to trust Him. I gotta run, we will be praying fir you and John, Lynn. God bless you.

Depleted · May 29, 2016

I just called him to ask if he wanted me to get his walker. (He's very happy he can walk now.)

"No, not today. They have a walker for me."

"Anything else?"

"No, you can get it tomorrow."

"...unless you go back tomorrow."

"I can't. They can't release me from here."

He means, he can't go from the ER back to the nursing home. That means he's stuck back in that blasted hospital, and after they find out he doesnt need ICU, he's going down to those floors of incompetent staff who were just supposed to take care of him for two days last time, and, instead it took 6-8 weeks of dickering over if he has a problem, and then what it is. And after all was said and done, they placed him in the nursing home without ever really doing anything at all, so he had to keep going back for the first 3-4 weeks to get more blood.

I am so terrified this is starting all over again.

BeyondET · May 29, 2016

Hi Lynn I've been reading your post about John, they always bring me to tears and quite often I'm without words. I know you and John are in a lot pain and I don't know the answer of why things happen like this.

Dear Lord, please wrap your arms around Lynn and John who are hurting today, calm the storms that rage around and comfort their tears, give them strength and courage to continue on for they are walking through fields that are rough with grief and care, that they arrive at smooth pastures of comfort and peace. Amen

Depleted · May 29, 2016

I'm back. He's trying not to be negative. I told him this is one of those times we're allowed to be negative for more than five minutes, but we both have to keep remembering we have no idea what is going to happen tomorrow. We're staring at the bridge right in front of us, but it's not time to cross it today.

Of course, it's a Sunday night for a holiday weekend, so, even though tomorrow is Monday, nothing might happen because there is less staff on holidays. Something might happen. It could be good. It could be bad. And we might be on hold until Tuesday.

He has another swallow test on Tuesday. He can eat mashed food now, but he can't drink liquids because he can't feel if something that thin goes down the wrong tube. Tuesday he finds out if he can now. He's on "nothing in mouth." That means no food, no water, no ice, and right back where he was in January with one major difference -- he remembers he likes to eat. Everything he has eaten in the last few weeks was delicious, even if he couldn't figure out what it was. (Hospital food. Government food. About the worse food anyone can eat. Even worse than MY food bad, and he still loved it all and ate it all.) In January he hadn't eaten in a couple of months, so it didn't bother him. (It always bothered me.)

He's afraid they'll put him back on the feed. He'll refuse it. I don't blame him. (Rather agree with him.) Last time they put him on that feed bag, no one was in a rush to getting around to take him off of it, so he went without eating for five months.

He also knows, since they won't let him eat, that means he goes back to getting his drugs through that damn tube too. He was really into taking his drugs, because they put them in pudding. Pudding! Food! (Strange part is, at home, he can't eat pudding. It feels like lactose intolerance minus lactose. When I made it, I used lactose free milk, but we both have the same reaction, so don't eat pudding... or pumpkin pie.)

He's 6'1". His bed at the nursing home was 6'. He wants to come home because he wants to sleep in a bed that he fits in. ICU bed is shorter than the nursing home bed. He can't get comfortable. (I also believe the reason his hips hurt so much when he was first sitting was because his feet are always braced tightly against the footboard. They can take off the footboard, but regulations say a patient can fall out of a bed that way. Our opinion? If a 6'1" man falls out of the bottom of the bed, there's a lot bigger problem with the nursing staff than a stupid footboard.)

And one of the things we've been enjoying in the last five months is the amount of tubes, electronics, and needles coming off his body. At first he had so many tubes in him it looked like two of those outlet boards that hold six plugs at once, except his held eight lines of medications at once. Medication by medication gradually went down to nothing. No more IV's or plugs of IVs in him. No more blood pressure cuff that fills up and checks his blood pressure every 10 minutes 24/7. No more pole with a string of IVs on it. No more electrodes checking pulse every which way. This morning he was down to one useless tube coming out of his stomach and one line connected to his wound vac. Tonight that cuff is back on his upper arm puffing up every 10 minutes, electrodes looking like spaghetti sticking out of the top of the hospital gown. That stupid thing wrapped around his index finger all the time. (His channel surfing finger, no less. And he worked hard to get back to changing channels too.) A picc line in his arm to give him IVs of fluids for no particular reason other than they don't want him to drink or eat. And when he moves his arm wrong, the needle stabs and the cuff complains. And sure enough, they have medication coursing into him for no other reason then "you might have an ulcer." THEY'VE GOT THE PICTURES IN THE FILE FROM APRIL! HE HAS NO ULCERS! If he got an ulcer since then, then THEY royally screwed up!!!

Last time he was in the ICU his doctor was a cardiologist. Now his doctor is a GI. But NO - he's not bleeding from his intestines. ONE. TRACK. MIND!!!

They will draw blood at 1 AM and then again at 4 AM, but they told him, "Sleep well."

Bridge right in front of us, but we don't know if it is to be crossed or not. And we won't know until tomorrow... or Tuesday... or Wednesday... or next year!

He has a swallow test on Tuesday at that hospital at 1 PM. The only thing we know for sure is he's going to it.

My fear is both he's going back to the nursing home on Tuesday or he's not. If he goes back, that means all they're doing, once again, is hoping he stops being their problem. If he doesn't go back, it means we have to cross that bridge.

Nothing was wrong today but what happens to many people -- hemorrhoids. How do we ever trust it is safe for him to be at home? He didn't feel bad. He simply didn't stop bleeding for a while. That's happened before to both of us and we never ended up going to the hospital once more ended up in ICU over that.

BeyondET · May 29, 2016

your more than welcome to vent on any of my post if any may trigger a emotion I know your going through a lot, let me have it don't hold back even cursing and all though PMs maybe better for that cause the forum modulators may delete it

Miri · May 30, 2016

Lynn, so sorry to hear about this.

Lord we pray that you will intervene in this, that all of this will come to
nothing and John will be able to get on with the business of recovering.
Bring healing to his body allowing all parts to function as they should.
Give strength to Lynn and draw close to her, calm these fears and worries.
We all look forward to the day John will go home Lord and thank you for all
you have do so far. In many ways John and Lynn are living testimony to all the staff
and I pray the staff will see the work of your hands in all of this.

Lynn, I have often thought that a miracle is what we cannot do in the natural.
There was so much the staff could not did and did not do, in the natural but God
did what was necessary and took over in the supernatural. He is still working on
your behalf.

notmyown · May 30, 2016

Father and God, You know this is not like me, but i am asking You to rise up and fight for your son and daughter!
i feel frustrated and if i do, i can't begin to imagine how frustrated John and Lynn feel. Mighty God, your dear children are battle weary. they've hung in there and trusted You and i believe You're pleased with them.
but now, God, show Your love and mercy toward them by changing the circumstances in their favor. let all who know they belong to You be amazed and please do this for Your eternal glory and for their good, in Christ's Name, amen.

Depleted · May 30, 2016

John just called, and said, "Smell."

So, I sniffed deeply and smelled nothing.

He laughed and said, "That's the smell of breakfast. It's delicious. And because it's not the same food they serve at the CLC, [the initials to the nursing home], I got something new. I think it's apple pie, but it's crushed up so I can't tell."

I could hear his grin.

His unit doctor saw him about 8 AM. (Right about the time I was getting up, although we had a brown out this morning, so my clocks were blinking.) They're back to the diagnosis in the ER yesterday afternoon. He was bleeding from hemorrhoids, which dropped his blood count fast, but it hasn't dropped anymore, so he'll be sent back to the nursing home. (I do not understand how he could have a blood count of 920 when they gave him the first blood test when he arrived -- 2 hours after losing blood -- and then four hours later it dropped. If it was that, why did it take so long to drop?)

After he left the room he talked to a nurse right outside the curtain, and said he'd go back tomorrow. (What? Like he couldn't tell the patient that?) John's still all about not missing that swallow test tomorrow though.

I feel like we've just gone from red light to yellow light. I'm sure the staff would think we should be at green light, but they're blinded to the overall picture of what life is really like working through the VA. Just because he thinks he can send someone right back to the CLC doesn't mean the CLC will let him skip part of the regulations. Everything is all about regulations. It removes the necessity of common sense or what is good for the patient. (Stuff I have to keep my mouth shut about in front of them. You know me. I'm not quiet, so that just about strains my jaw. lol)

I did see signs from God through all this.
-- Yesterday morning was the first morning in three weeks I didn't have to use my TENS unit just to get moving. My back was as good as it gets. Good thing, since God was going to make me use it more than usual lately, which is already more than usual. (I use to relax a lot more than I have been lately.) If it wasn't better than usual, there was no way I could have gone to see John twice.

-- Simply because I was expecting John's phone call telling me he was back at the CLC, I didn't go out back to water the garden. (I'm not sure our phone rings outside these walls, but I do still live with a landline.) I didn't take that shower right after watering the garden, so I wasn't in my pajamas either. And I ate dinner early, in case I was going over to give John some dinner. God was kind enough to water the garden for me. (If it isn't watered daily, some of my plants droop completely, and they're my best flowering plants.) Yesterday morning, the forecast said it wasn't supposed to rain until today. God sped up that front for me. (Probably for other reasons too.) And had I not eaten dinner early, my stomach would have growled loudly in front of a guy who got no dinner. And had I showered, I wouldn't have gotten to him until he was asleep for the night.

-- The brownout. God's way of telling me not to count on a clock to tell me what time to wake up. Since I didn't go to bed until 2, had I woken up when my a/c and CPAP mask stopped working, I would have gotten up at 7. I also think that was God reminding me to lighten up, he's got this handled.

I really do know God's in control. That doesn't mean John won't ever die. That doesn't even mean John will get better and come home. It doesn't even mean I won't be in a car crash that kills me. There is eternal life in God, however, the thought that I may have to spend some time here without John or that he might have to spend some time here without me is the thing that scares us the most. We're really really comfortable around each other, like each other, love each other. We are each other's "best thing in the world." Even chocolate and raspberries pales in comparison.

BeyondET · May 30, 2016

That's good news Lynn I'm happy you both are feeling better today

B1Davanda · May 30, 2016

BeyondET said:

Amen, and what a blessing to have ppl that pray for you, and the true and living God who hears our prayers, all the while knowing that His ways are not our ways and His will is not always ours, but we can trust Him even when we don't understand, or question the point of circumstances.....it's those times we really need each other for encouragement, and it's a blessing to have brothers and sisters in Christ, and our God and Saviour who loves us. Thank you, Jesus.

Miri · May 30, 2016

Good news Lynn.

God is good, all the time,
all the time, God is good.

notmyown · May 30, 2016

thank You!

B1Davanda · May 30, 2016

notmyown said:

Yes...thank you!!! \

/
(I'm thinking we mean that for the same reason?)

B1Davanda · May 30, 2016

Miri said:

Gigatt! I tip my hat!

But I can't share rep right now

kaylagrl · May 30, 2016

Depleted said:

John used the commode today. And when he was done, he was bleeding. Enough to scare the nurses, so they sent him to the ER. I was there with him, and he pushed to have lunch before he went.

And I spent time with him in the ER. The doctor there said it was just something like "road rash" (my word, since I can't pronounce or remember the medical word - but something as minor as a skin knee, jut inconveniently located) near his anal sphincter, no big deal, AND his blood count was up to 920 -- "normal" even for healthy men -- so we finally learned he was making his own blood. This was great news. All they had to do was wait four hours to get another blood sample before he was transferred back to the nursing home.

Yesterday, we found out they might keep him there for an extra week or two so he could go from there straight to home. He could be home by July 4th! We were elated, (although he's scared I might be too hopeful.)

So, I asked him to call me when he got settled back in, and I've been waiting for that call, not because I was worried about him bleeding, but because I was worried they weren't going to give him dinner tonight. (They have screwed up three meals in a row, so he hasn't had a full meal in a full day. I am still dressed, because I was going to take him something if they didn't feed him.)

He should be back by now, so I just called the nurses' station.

According to them, they're admitting him back into ICU because he's bleeding that badly in his intestines.

He just called. According to what he knows his second blood count was 850, so they sent him to ICU to watch him overnight only. Oh, BTW. He can't eat!

We didn't just go back one step. We just went back to January!

I cannot do this anymore, and yet what else can I do? He really cannot do this anymore. That hospital terrifies us by its incompetence! They really are back to dickering if he's bleeding in his intestines. The last time they played at this hunch for SIX weeks! They still don't know! He's got some inerrant blood vessels lining his intestines that can bleed whenever they want, but every time they scoped him (or used a camera) they weren't bleeding. They add "at that moment."

Pray! And pray I can pull this off without crying while I'm driving. And pray I can actually park the car without having to walk up three levels of a parking garage. And that's the easy stuff!

Ive been in the hospital with more than one loved one that was seriously ill. Words and advice dont mean a lot,you cant take them in. "Im praying" is about all one can say. All of CC has you and John in their thoughts and hearts. We're all believing for you sister.

oldethennew · May 30, 2016

one of things that I love about most about Lynn sharing so intimately with us, is that she gives
our Heavenly Father His due in the most trying of times along with the good-times -
what a great witness-teaching-blessing, she has given us all....

An Emergency with John again.

Depleted

Guest

Senior Member

Senior Member

Senior Member

Banned

Depleted

Guest

BeyondET

Guest

Depleted

Guest

BeyondET

Guest

Miri

Guest

Senior Member

Depleted

Guest

BeyondET

Guest

Banned

Miri

Guest

Senior Member

Banned

Banned

kaylagrl

Guest

Banned