At the end of my rope

I'm not the kind of person who feels comfortable advertising their problems to the world.. but I'm in a really desperate place right now. I know you guys don't know me- in fact, it's my first day here. If I thought I could handle waiting a week or month, until I wasn't as much of a stranger, I would but I don't think I can hold on that long without asking for prayer. This site is really my only outlet to do that, or at least the only one that feels relatively safe.
I don't want to bore anyone with my entire life story, so I'll just give the bare essentials.
I'm completely immersed in this horrible feeling of hopelessness. I've struggled with eating disorders and self harm, anything really to distract myself from the pain. Whether it was from my terrible choices, or memories that I can't shake no matter how hard I try. I feel.. shattered in a way that no one can fix. It's not just what's actually happened around me, physical circumstances, but my relationship with God too. That's honestly the worst part.
I'm really confused about everything. Everything I thought God was, or who I was. I feel like He's abandoned me. I feel invisible. Invisible to Him, invisible to other Christians- if I can really count myself among them anymore. I feel like everything that's happened in the past few years should be confirmation that He really is gone, that I really don't belong in the church. That I've just been kidding myself, so why even try anymore?
I'm sorry if this makes no sense. I know I'm rambling.
Just please.. say a prayer for me. I'd appreciate it more than you know.

:'(
Your post really hit home because I know exactly how what you described feels.
I have struggled with anorexia for a while, and just recently stopped self harming.
I want to tell you something though.
Hope is never completely gone. We are never alone.
God made you, His wonderful child in light of Him, the God who made the Heavens and the Earth also thought to make you and His love for you is larger than you can imagine. Even if you can't see any of that right now doesnt mean it isn't there. His love is ever so present but the darkness and hurt of this world blinds us from that so much. Open your eyes sweetheart. You are so so so special and loved in the eyes of the Lord. You can get rest in His caring arms.
Spend some time in your Bible. If you have readers help; Use it!!!!!! I will be spending time in my Bible as well, and I will possibly be posting some verses on here in relation to what you are going through.
I am definitely praying for you!!

My dear sister I am praying for you. Please understand that Jesus never abandons you he is always at your side loving you. There are always ups and downs in a relationship. Please cry out to Jesus. When I considered ending my life I was scared of myself I cried out and God came and gave me understanding about why I am here. Of course it didn't finish there but I have nevered considered taking my life since then.love you my dear sister. God bless you

Hey HS do you mind doing a huge favor for me?

God is good - I have went weeks without eating i know the feeling - Prayers SENT

What is it my dear girl?

If I post links to songs would you be willing to put the video on here in the more accessible form for couragedearheart to listen to?

If I post links to songs would you be willing to put the video on here in the more accessible form for couragedearheart to listen to?

I believe I can do that though haven't done it before. I just press the insert video button right? Put the URL in and press ok.

I have no idea haha thats why i need someone else to do it. I guess we'll see lol

Sure will LOL

[video https://youtu.be/-FHwdx5BIvc][/video]

This is a test to see if this is how to post videos

Alright HS lol here is one of the links

https://youtu.be/SMLWY-TiVPc

https://youtu.be/SMLWY-TiVPc
How do you do this? I see people upload actual videos to their posts but I can't do it haha probably easy mind you I see only a few people do it so I might not be the only one that doesn't know. I might have to ask in the tech forum. The link works tho

[/VIDEO]be.com/watch?v=SMLWY-TiVPc&[/VIDEO]

[video=youtube;SMLWYTiVPc]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SMLWYTiVPc[/video]

Trying again
[video=youtube;SMLWYTiVPc]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SMLWYTiVPc[/video]

Unfortunately can't work that one out how about giving me another link will try that one. Very close just not close enough.

John 15:19
If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you.

James 4:4
Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? Whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God.

1 John 2:15
Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.

John 12:25
Anyone who loves their life will lose it, while anyone who hates their life in this world will keep it for eternal life.

2 Corinthians 12:10
That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

1 Corinthians 4
[SUP]11 [/SUP]Even unto this present hour we both hunger, and thirst, and are naked, and are buffeted, and have no certain dwelling place; [SUP]12 [/SUP]And labor, working with our own hands: being reviled, we bless; being persecuted, we suffer it: [SUP]13 [/SUP]Being defamed, we entreat: we are made as the filth of the world, and are the off scouring of all things unto this day. [SUP]14 [/SUP]I write not these things to shame you, but as my beloved sons I warn you."

Matthew 5
3 “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 4 Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. 5 Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. 6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. 7 Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. 8 Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. 9 Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. 10 Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 11 Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12 Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

Philippians 1
21 For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. 22 If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! 23 I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; 24 but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body. 25 Convinced of this, I know that I will remain, and I will continue with all of you for your progress and joy in the faith


1 Thessalonians 3
7 Therefore, brothers and sisters, in all our distress and persecution we were encouraged about you because of your faith. 8 For now we really live, since you are standing firm in the Lord.



***

That feeling that you don't belong in this world? It's because you don't belong to this world. The fact that you suffer in it says you must be doing something right. God says to persevere. Paul said he would. Shall we do any less?

I'll be praying for you sister.

[video=youtube;EA1vznfCWnk]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EA1vznfCWnk[/video]