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Jul 13, 2016
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#1
Unless God intervenes, I will be leaving my wife of eleven years in about 2 months.

This is a long story and I won't bore you with the details. But God is aware and He knows my heart. I love her and I don't won't to leave, but she is a hardcore alcoholic and it is killing me.

I know that God hates divorce and I am aware of all the scripture reference. But, I've done all I know to do and if you knew me, you would know that is true.

Please pray God's guidance and perfect will. Most of all, please pray for my wife, her name is Jenn.

GraceDefined
 

levi85

Senior Member
Jul 2, 2013
8,578
2,180
113
#2
Lord we pray for Gracedefined and wife, please solve the differences and remove the bitterness and hatredness.bind the with your love and set them free from the power of darkness. Please bless them and you be glorified in their lives and marriage. In Jesus gracious name, Amen!
 

HS

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2016
672
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#3
Lord Jesus we cry out to you please heal this marriage don't make it end in divorce. rescue the wife show her Your love Lord in the name of Jesus amen
 

Violet24

Senior Member
Apr 14, 2015
1,074
148
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#4
Lord Jesus, I lift up this marriage to you in prayer...Psalms 37:23 The steps of a man are established by the LORD, And He delights in his way. 24When he falls, he will not be hurled headlong, Because the LORD is the One who holds his hand. 1 Corinthians 14:33 For God is not a God of confusion but of peace.
Lord, I pray that you would bring divine wisdom to GraceDefined, and lead him through this difficult season of his life & marriage. Lord, you are more than able to redeem all things, as there is no marriage that is beyond repair & healing. Lord, you see the turmoil & pain that is within this home & marriage. Most importantly, Lord I pray for GraceDefines wife, that You Lord would deliver her from this bondage of Alcoholism. Open the eyes of her spirit, so she is able to see the reality & pain this is causing in her home & marriage. Bring healing to her spirit, mind & emotions. I pray Lord that by your divine intervention, you would guide GraceDefined in the coming days with decisions & the direction he needs to go. Bring Peace into GraceDefines heart as he fully puts his trust in You Lord. If separation etc...is where you are leading him, I pray that your Grace would cover each day, as GraceDefined puts his trust in You. In Jesus name..
 
I

iveseenworse

Guest
#5
praying for you both. may God enhance your wisdom and love.
 
B

bikerchaz

Guest
#6
Don't do it fella. I have been there. My first wife was an alcoholic. I loved her more the day she died than when we first got married. God tells us its better to live in the attic than in a house with a contentious woman, he doesn't tell us to leave them. Even if she isn't a Christian we make a choice to stay or go and you have obviously made a choice to stay up to now.

Stick with it, love her as you do (it is obvious), do not provide drink, do not provide for drink. if she goes then she goes but you stay fella.

Jesus, God of the heart and mind and soul. Seek out your truth within this marriage. Set your standard in place so yours can rally to you. Help and show GraceDefined where you are in all this mess, help him to take hold of your hand and let you pull him through these troubled waters, in Jesus name Amen.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,857
9,573
113
#7
She's already put him through so much with her drinking. She's an alcoholic and that won't change unless she WANTS to accept help and stop. God won't force her to stop drinking, nor can He help her until she accepts His help.
 

jsr1221

Senior Member
Jul 7, 2013
4,265
77
48
#8
Don't do it fella. I have been there. My first wife was an alcoholic. I loved her more the day she died than when we first got married. God tells us its better to live in the attic than in a house with a contentious woman, he doesn't tell us to leave them. Even if she isn't a Christian we make a choice to stay or go and you have obviously made a choice to stay up to now.

Stick with it, love her as you do (it is obvious), do not provide drink, do not provide for drink. if she goes then she goes but you stay fella.

Jesus, God of the heart and mind and soul. Seek out your truth within this marriage. Set your standard in place so yours can rally to you. Help and show GraceDefined where you are in all this mess, help him to take hold of your hand and let you pull him through these troubled waters, in Jesus name Amen.
She loves drinking more than she does him. One of the great things God has done is giving us common sense. Common sense says leave if one is abused. Common sense says leave (maybe temporarily) and if the person doesn't get help for an addiction, then to leave for good. God never says if one person is self destructive, to just have the "sane" person sit and let the marriage crumble to pieces. Alcoholism destroys lives and unless something changes, she will bring him down with her.
 
Last edited:
Dec 19, 2009
27,513
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#9
Unless God intervenes, I will be leaving my wife of eleven years in about 2 months.

This is a long story and I won't bore you with the details. But God is aware and He knows my heart. I love her and I don't won't to leave, but she is a hardcore alcoholic and it is killing me.

I know that God hates divorce and I am aware of all the scripture reference. But, I've done all I know to do and if you knew me, you would know that is true.

Please pray God's guidance and perfect will. Most of all, please pray for my wife, her name is Jenn.

GraceDefined
I would understand your wanting to separate from your wife. Divorce is another matter.
 
B

bikerchaz

Guest
#10
She's already put him through so much with her drinking. She's an alcoholic and that won't change unless she WANTS to accept help and stop. God won't force her to stop drinking, nor can He help her until she accepts His help.
She loves drinking more than she does him. One of the great things God has done is giving us common sense. Common sense says leave if one is abused. Common sense says leave (maybe temporarily) and if the person doesn't get help for an addiction, then to leave for good. God never says if one person is self destructive, to just have the "sane" person sit and let the marriage crumble to pieces. Alcoholism destroys lives and unless something changes, she will bring him down with her.
This answer is for Lady blue and jsr1221

I am sorry guys but you obviously have no idea of what God can do. Even if you know this chap and have lunch with him and let him offload his troubles to you and swap phone numbers with him, it is obvious you have not got the slightest clue just what the power of God can do.

Is God false to say "The power of prayer can demolish strong holds"? Go outside on a clear night and look up. everything you see was put there for us. It is held in place for us. Jesus died so we can have a relationship with this creator, this one, the one who holds all he has made in the palm of His hand.

This man, GraceDefined is the husband, he has privileges that others do not. He is the head of his household and high priest within his family within the order of Melkizedech. He has been commissioned from Christ to give himself for her (his wife) as Christ gave Himself for us (His bride), to the death if necessary.

It is in this stance of love and sacrifice that God can work. I am sorry Gracedefined I was challenged and had to answer for your sake. Jesus gave Himself for us while we were still sinners, and to reciprocate this sacrifice from us to our own families is what separates us from the common earth dwellers that do not know Jesus.

I am presuming you do know Jesus and you have the indwelling of the Holy Spirit and that you commune with Jesus, if you do not, then what am I talking about? Then, if this is the case, you need to get into Jesus presence and get sorted because all this will be gobbledegook otherwise.

I lived with an alcoholic wife for over 13 years before she died, I know what its like waking up in a urine soaked bed, doing the washing before work making sure the kids have breakfast, cooking the evening meal because she is comatose on the sofa at 5pm, finding it hard to make ends meet and even contemplating crime as a way to feed the children.

Get into Jesus presence GraceDefined, ask Him to reaffirm His love and power in you and enable you to stand.
God bless
 
Jul 13, 2016
33
4
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#11
Bikerchaz,

Thank you for your wisdom and advise. I feel the pain you describe with your late wife. Yes, I am saved by the grace of God and His Spirit dwells within me. My wife is very abusive and has even become physical on occasion.
I am keenly aware of what God can do. I have seen Him perform miracles of true healing. I have seen Him intervene in my life on many occasions.
I am no better than my wife as a person. But, if she would let me, I could help her and she wont; I'm too close.
My decision to leave has not been made with ease, but with great pain. I love the woman dearly. If God would choose to intervene and heal her, I would gladly change my mind. The dye is not cast.
Now, you may find this next part difficult to believe, but I see God opening doors for me to leave. Could I be misreading God? Sure, but I am open to that and continually listen for His voice.
Am I looking for another woman? NO absolutely not. If I leave, and God deals with her, I'm back and all in.
She is indeed hindering my walk with God, not to mention emotional and physical health.
Please you and everyone understand I do not want this. However, I can't continue to live like this. I have had a very hard life and God has been with me every step of the way and I thank and praise Him for it.
I think that if you read the few post that I have made, you will see that God has given me a large dose of compassion and the glory goes to Him. I have that compassion for my wife multiplied many times.
Thank you all for your prayers and concern.

GraceDefined
 

Pilkington

Senior Member
Jan 13, 2015
640
99
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#13
Heavenly Father I pray for GraceDefined we ask that you would guide him and that he would have peace in regards to the decisions he makes. We also pray for his wife Jenn. Lord you know the situation we ask that you would intervene in their lifes and that Jenn would be able to stop drinking. In the name of Jesus Amen