A year today since my fiancé stroke.

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happyface

Senior Member
Jan 19, 2009
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#1
Today is the 25th September exactly a year since the stroke he had. Its very emotional. His mother makes him poorly and he hates the way she love attention. Pray that he gets stronger with God's help.
 

levi85

Senior Member
Jul 2, 2013
8,578
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#2
Lord heal and bless Rod, no more stroke peace of mind and mom be good to him . Yes Lordbplease bless this prayers. In Jesus name, Amen!
 

happyface

Senior Member
Jan 19, 2009
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#3
Thanks levi85 I know ive prayed all year for Rod, But its a feeling of doom i get, its hard. I pray he pulls through so many things, he has had to deal with all year. From chest pains to loosing weight and sweats and everything. Hes coped with all that. I pray The Lord helps Rod with Life and living better and being happier.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
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Tennessee
#4
Thanks levi85 I know ive prayed all year for Rod, But its a feeling of doom i get, its hard. I pray he pulls through so many things, he has had to deal with all year. From chest pains to loosing weight and sweats and everything. Hes coped with all that. I pray The Lord helps Rod with Life and living better and being happier.
I pray for Rod too and also for you for God to let you have a more abundant life and to be happier.
 

happyface

Senior Member
Jan 19, 2009
1,496
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#6
Today Rods temper wasn't good. I'm finding it hard if I admit. His dad was the same when he had a stroke. Please keep praying. Thanks.
 

happyface

Senior Member
Jan 19, 2009
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#7
I know I can't change him, he really does have an issue. His attitude is awful, and all he says I can sit and watch judge tinder on TV. He hasn't a clue on his behavior towards me. All because he asked me to put the dog out when he brought in the shopping. And the dog got outside to the car, he went berserk and threatened to strangle me. I'm sick of feeling I have to cope with his strict nature. None is perfect, he's gone to bed now. Sometimes his brain over loads. At times he's lovely, today is bad.
 
M

Miri

Guest
#8
Hi, I'm sorry you are going through all of this.

If his temper is getting worse, then you need to try to find out the reason.
If it is medical (and it can be, I know from looking after my aunt), then you need
to consider whether or not this will improve with time or not.

If it's not going to improve and you feel you cannot cope any more, then while
it will be hard, you need to carefully consider what you want out of life and how
much you are prepared to put up with and for how long - is it time to call it a day?

If he is able to exercise control over his temper and just does it out of
frustration, then you need to have a good chat with him and explain how
sad this is making you feel and ask if he is willing to get help, maybe
through councilling or a stroke charity or organisation. etc. There is
lots of free help and advice to access here in the UK about strokes.


National Stroke Association | Stroke.org

https://www.headway.org.uk/about-brain-injury/individuals/types-of-brain-injury/stroke/

https://www.stroke.org.uk


But if despite all this, if there is no change and you feel unable to deal with
this any more, then you need to look at where you go from here.
Are you prepared to put up with a person who makes you feel bad for the rest of
your life despite his problems. When someone you love hurls verbal abuse at
you every day, it destroys you bit by bit every day. You end up hating that person.


Talk to someone, your doctor, his doctor, the U.K. Stroke association etc.
Find out as much as you can, is this stroke related or just his own temper
getting the better of him. Can it be resolved etc.

A year without change is a long time.

Praying for you.
 

happyface

Senior Member
Jan 19, 2009
1,496
35
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#9
Hi miri I'm finding that myself his temper is uncalled for. I know he builds up and yes a lot is to do with his stroke. His dad had a temper also. He just doesn't always see things in a calm way. I have to let him come around in his own way. Its hard because I feel very unloved at times. All this makes me very anxious. Its all about him. What hurts is I pray on here for him.
 
S

SouthernStorm

Guest
#10
...praying, blessings!
 
M

Miri

Guest
#11
Hi miri I'm finding that myself his temper is uncalled for. I know he builds up and yes a lot is to do with his stroke. His dad had a temper also. He just doesn't always see things in a calm way. I have to let him come around in his own way. Its hard because I feel very unloved at times. All this makes me very anxious. Its all about him. What hurts is I pray on here for him.

I had the same when my aunt came out of hospital. She was still very much out of
things due to two mild strokes, her blood chemistry being all over the place.
Daily she swore at me and accused me of the most awful things. I knew she
was ill so I put up with it, but it hurt a lot. Often I would just have to go out for a
walk to get out of the house and that atmosphere. But as her physical condition
improved, so did her mental condition. She can still get quiet nasty when her oxygen
levels are low, but she is not anywhere near as bad as before and I can cope with how
things are now, it's taken 8 months to get this far.


The reason I posted above is because you seemed to suggest there might be other
factors. Maybe if his dad had a bad temper there is learned behaviour in Rod which
needs to be dealt with. You both need to look at this, how much is illness related,
how much of this is just Rod, can you live like this if it does not improve.
Believe me, it's hard, I know from first hand experience.
One thing you should definately do is develope your own interests outside of the
home. Go to church on Sunday's even if Rod can't. Get involved in the women groups or
pray groups, or take up an outside hobby.


There are plenty of Carer's groups in the UK who do all sorts of activities for Carer's to
take breaks and get out a bit. They are all free. Your own doctor will be able to provide
you with a list of organisations and activities. My doctor did and I find getting out and
about and looking after myself is absolutely essential. It gives me the mental
stamina and energy I need and the break.

God bless
 

happyface

Senior Member
Jan 19, 2009
1,496
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#12
Since I wrote this prayer for Rod he's been asleep all along. I know he gets tired.
 

oyster67

Senior Member
May 24, 2014
11,887
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#13
I remember that, by the time my dad died, it seemed like his soul and personality had already gone on long before. I believe that it was the narcotics he took for pain that did this, although he did have a couple small strokes as well.

Perhaps all you can do is pray and try to maintain your composure in a way that you will have no regrets when it is all over. Remember that, just because he has reasons for his super-bad behavior, does not mean that you have super human strength to deal with it. What you are doing for Rod is beautiful and wonderful, but you may never live to see the day when he can humble himself to the point where he will tell you this. That is why the Lord brought you here, so we can tell you this and pray with you.

God bless you, dear.
 

happyface

Senior Member
Jan 19, 2009
1,496
35
48
#14
I remember that, by the time my dad died, it seemed like his soul and personality had already gone on long before. I believe that it was the narcotics he took for pain that did this, although he did have a couple small strokes as well.

Perhaps all you can do is pray and try to maintain your composure in a way that you will have no regrets when it is all over. Remember that, just because he has reasons for his super-bad behavior, does not mean that you have super human strength to deal with it. What you are doing for Rod is beautiful and wonderful, but you may never live to see the day when he can humble himself to the point where he will tell you this. That is why the Lord brought you here, so we can tell you this and pray with you.

God bless you, dear.
Thank you. Yes Rod isn't always aware of the fear I have. He actually scared me. Really bad. Its really hard. And I know I have to deal with it. The truth is I'm very sad. But I've left him to sleep all afternoon, my spirit is always seeing the best. But at times I like to be loved. All because the dog trampled on the kitchen floor he nearly killed me. Its the hardest thing to do is be kind. But I guess Gods mercy will help me with love. Its a cry for help. Amen
 

happyface

Senior Member
Jan 19, 2009
1,496
35
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#15
Tonight Rod said I've had my tea, he ate a pie, he makes me feel so useless. It was about 4pm. Then he said you never told me about my eyebrows being thick. So I said I will cut them, he said no I'm going out. He took dog out. I'm so low I can't do anything right. I can't even take the dog out due to the pain in my feet. Tonight when he got back in he said I'm going upstairs you can watch all your usual TV programs. I just got so mad, and said that's how you sum me up. His mood is terrible, he always feel sorry for himself. I can't believe my life is this way, I forgive so easily.I am so upset.
 

happyface

Senior Member
Jan 19, 2009
1,496
35
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#16
The sleep has been all day even now, I know he isn't right. I know more about Rod than he knows himself, and I guess this is the hardest part. I really know his brain can just explode, I just don't know if he will always be this bad. Its the first time in weeks. Hopefully the sleep will help,
 

happyface

Senior Member
Jan 19, 2009
1,496
35
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#17
Sometimes I have to vent when I walk because my feet hurt. I swear and vent to myself. But I do try to be patient in front of Rod. I made him tea tonight just a simple meal and he ate it. He does seem calmer and more kinder, its the sleep that's help. Father I pray for no more outbursts and scary behavior. Father I thank you for this lesson, and no matter I will try to over come things. The word for today is honesty and patience, forgive me if I call Rod in my heart. Thank you for letting me reach out to you on this site. Amen
 

happyface

Senior Member
Jan 19, 2009
1,496
35
48
#18
Itds like a dairy this, sorry folks. Its just my way of dealing. Last night After a really long sleep Rod seemed happier. Before going to sleep he apologized for his behavior. I said it meant a lot. But his personality has changed. He sounds very strict in his voice, I know its the tiredness and stroke. I get pressure head aches a lot. Thank you its wonderful to get support because I soon get anxious. Today I'm hoping is better. Thank you Jesus.
 

happyface

Senior Member
Jan 19, 2009
1,496
35
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#19
It's day by day with sweet jesus, if we love someone enough, we will understand them through illness. Thank you Jesus for allowing me to cry.