I've been cheated again

I come from a 10 year marriage,during these 10 years I caught him doing online dating, having 2 ex girlfriends as "friends" on Facebook,and now I searched his cellphone records and it shows he's been routinely calling and texting this other woman before work,@lunch,and before coming home from work,and on weekends(while he's supposed to be outside fixing cars),well...he doesn't know of my findings,for I'm waiting to see how to go about it,specially since I'm unemployed,and couldn't make it paying bills,and a mortgage without any income!, I love him,but unfortunately, I even put up with him talking to other girls while we were dating,plus he cheated on me with another girl from church (whIle we dated).We met in church,he was a young preacher,but,he's been astrayed for the past 2 and a half years now. I searched for counsel mom and dad think I should forgive him,and give him an opportunity to change,and because I depend on him financially. My pastor says to pray,but if I choose to divorce,I couldn't remarry.
I don't know what to do! !!!!

First of all, the fact he cheated on you WHILE you were dating him should have set off red flags to not marry him. So in actuality, he's been cheating on you during your entire 10 YEARS of marriage. :/ He has been astray for alot more than the last 2 and a half years. Is he willing to go to counseling? Have you tried all other options? It's been ten years, don't waste another 10 years waiting for him to change because odds are, he won't.. Cheaters rarely stop cheating.

I can only share the Scripture and my testimony. Y-shua did say we can divorce for adultery.

No matter what happened bad between my ex-husband and me I never threatened divorce. I know not to unless I could go thru with it. Once you cross that line there is no going back. He cheated on me. In fact, he got another woman pregnant. I spent 5 months in prayer on what to do, the when I was talking to a great woman of G-d she told me Paul said to the church of Corinth to cast out the brother that slept with his father’s wife so satin can have his way with him and G-d can save his soul. That Scripture rang true in my knowing and I knew what G-d wanted me to do. I talked to my then husband the next day, said, quit having an affair, come home, let’s get counselling or I am getting a divorce. He said get the divorce. So May 4[SUP]th[/SUP] 2004 I filled for divorce, April 6[SUP]th[/SUP] we were divorced. I took nothing in the divorce, he got the house, got it all I just wanted out. My first few months I couldn’t function well. I loved my husband. I wrote out simple things I know about G-d to get me thru the day, like He will never flood the earth again. I mean really simple, basics. And the Scripture G-d gave me that I hold on to, to this very day I still do, is Isiah 54:5 For your Maker is your husband-- the LORD Almighty is his name-- the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth.


My Husband, the Lord has always provided for me financially, all my ends always meet, emotionally I am whole. I remember very vividly, I was talking to another friend back then after the divorce and he was telling me about his first wife, he was the cheater and she divorced him, and he was crying because he was still in love with her and just the whole thing really. But I know this man. I have known him for over 20 years and he has gone on to have a good life. I realized in that talk there may be a part of my heart always sad because of the loss of my marriage, but it will not always overwhelm me and maybe one day I can have happiness too. AND I HAVE. But the greatest of G-d my heart is not sad anymore.

I will pray for you. But no one should ever tell you to divorce or not to divorce. Biblically yes you can. Your pastor is right to pray about it. My personal opinion, do not threaten divorce unless you want it you don’t know what he may do. He could end up divorcing you.

Thank you.Well yes we went through Christian Couples Therapy,but towards the end he shut out and didn't want to continue going.Yeahh....I should've married him....I regret it!

My prayer for you to take correct decision.

i pray wisdom for you. i pray for him to return faithfully to God.

Thank you,that's my prayer as well. If that happens then I can definitely think of staying with him.

Thank you. YES,I pray for the wisdom of God so I can know what to do.

Yes,thank you, I pray I make the right decision as well.

I am praying for you. It is always worthwhile to consider separating before divorcing. That way he knows you are unwilling to put up with his cheating, but then you are also giving him a chance to stop cheating. At least confront him and tell him you will not have sexual relations with him while he is being unfaithful. It is unsafe to have sex with someone who is being unfaithful. You are walking around in God's temple. Show respect for your body by telling him no or staying somewhere else for awhile. Sorry if this is a little too personal, but that is the advice I would give to my sister in Christ.

Because of the infidelity of your husband you certainly have biblical grounds for remarriage to a loving man who will be faithful to you. The worse thing that a spouse could do is to cheat on the other. A man that loves his wife does not choose to cheat on her. What I would do is to start planning my life without him. I understand that there are financial constraints and you did not say whether there are children or not but God wants you to have life and to have it more abundantly. Right now you have neither. Glad to have you as a member of our family. Welcome to CC.

WELL....my pastor said I couldn't remarry,but I'll look to it more in depth through the scriptures.Yes we do have one child,she's 9,and I have suffered 2 miscarriages. I'll definitely not want to stay with him if he doesn't change his ways,and yes...if I just separate, maybe that will give us time to think things through,and for him to change.
One thing I didn't mentioned was that he is here illegally, and we're waiting on the process of getting a green card to be over,sometimes...

Lord please hold Vane78's hand and guide her, yes Lord, please bless, in Jesus name, Amen!

Peace be with you Vane78 and your marriage in JESUS' NAME.
I'm happy that you wrote on the post that you "LOVE HIM". From your message, it shows that husband is possess with an evil spirit (the spirit of cheating). He is lust after women. So my dear, save your husband from this spirit by praying for him, and because you love him, you will again your husband back. GOD will answer you and you will see your real husband because now he is being control by the devil.

I agree with you.And yes because I love him,I want the best for him,and he is not gonna see what he is missing if we don't separate, plus,I promised to give him his papers(get him his green card),for he is here illegally(came through the border),and I'm a U.S. citizen,so I can't divorce him,even if I wanted to,not until all of his immigration status is confirmed as legal.

Thank you,Amen,I receive your prayers in Jesus'mighty name.

Yes,thank you for your advice. I've recently had 2 interviews,so by Monday I should hear if I can get a job offer,I'm praying I get a good paying job,and that it allows me to still go to church services.Once I have a job I'll confront him,and see what happens, may God give me his wisdom! !!

Cast your burden on the LORD, and HE will sustain you; HE will never permit the Righteous to be moved (Psalm 55:22)
God's word reminds us to hand over every care and burden to Him. We don't give Him part of our burden, nor do we give it in unbelief, but in faith, knowing He is able to give us the victory over any circumstance. As we surrender every burden to Him, the Lord gives us the wisdom and necessary strategy to deal with any difficult challenge. He becomes our shield, so we can never be defeated.

So you're harboring a criminal in addition to putting up with his cheating.. This just keeps getting worse and worse..