hi, ive been a christian for about 10 years. in that time ive sufferred many losses. jobs, health, relationships and so on. its been a very difficult 10 years with not many joyful moments.
but right now, my Mother who i am very close to and means very much to me is suffering from thyroid cancer. she has had 2 surgeries already for this, and its suppose to be a curable cancer. the last surgery which was last march did not go well. she sufferred what we now know to be a spinal accessory nerve damage which affects a persons muscle in the arm. she is now dealing with pain on a daily basis. her neck is still numb, and her saliva glands are also damaged, which makes it difficult for her to eat.
now last week we found out the cancer is still there and it looks as though a third surgery will be required (shes already had 2 in the last 2 years). with there being so much scar tissue these surgeons may not even do the surgery. my Mother is only 50 years old and is very healthy, she doesnt smoke or drink or anything.
i honest to god wish i was the one who had the cancer, and the nerve damage to my arm.
ive had soo much junk to deal with over the last ten years, and now im starting to wonder if im going to lose my Mother as well. even if she does live, the damage this is causing her is starting to really take its toll. if she were to have a third surgery there it is very possible that nerve could be damaged causing her to lose her voice and nvr be able to speak again. the thought of nvr hearing my Mother say she loves me again is very depressing.
all of this is depressing. and ive already sufferred a ton of junk, and now to make things worse she is sufferring.
my Father is having back trouble and might need surgery, my Mothers dog was diagnosed with breast cancer a few months ago and she may now die as well.
i could go on here, but im not going to.
i know life sucks sometimes, but this is just overwhelming. i know that if lose my Mother i might as well jump off a bridge, i really would not want to continue on with life, after all the things ive lost and then with all this going on. i wouldnt find much cause to go on. and at this point its really not looking positive at all for her. even if they do get all the cancer with a 3rd surgery i really fear the damage this may do to her body.
ive really had enough, just with everything. i know there are those out there who know what i mean. i cant even really put into words any more how much all of this sucks.
my faith in Christ is just not there much anymore. even tho he is in my heart my desire to lean on him has really been lost through all this.
i dont even know why i write this, cause i dont know if God cares enough or is willing anyways to help.
life really sucks sometimes.
i pray the Jesus will provide a miracle for my Mother, without her my life is not worth going on.
sorry for this post being so sad, but thats all i really know anymore, is just sadness and sorrow. im tired of life for the most part. i can take alot of junk, but when i start seeing my family suffer greatly, its just too much.
pls pray that God will heal my Mother. and thank you for reading.
but right now, my Mother who i am very close to and means very much to me is suffering from thyroid cancer. she has had 2 surgeries already for this, and its suppose to be a curable cancer. the last surgery which was last march did not go well. she sufferred what we now know to be a spinal accessory nerve damage which affects a persons muscle in the arm. she is now dealing with pain on a daily basis. her neck is still numb, and her saliva glands are also damaged, which makes it difficult for her to eat.
now last week we found out the cancer is still there and it looks as though a third surgery will be required (shes already had 2 in the last 2 years). with there being so much scar tissue these surgeons may not even do the surgery. my Mother is only 50 years old and is very healthy, she doesnt smoke or drink or anything.
i honest to god wish i was the one who had the cancer, and the nerve damage to my arm.
ive had soo much junk to deal with over the last ten years, and now im starting to wonder if im going to lose my Mother as well. even if she does live, the damage this is causing her is starting to really take its toll. if she were to have a third surgery there it is very possible that nerve could be damaged causing her to lose her voice and nvr be able to speak again. the thought of nvr hearing my Mother say she loves me again is very depressing.
all of this is depressing. and ive already sufferred a ton of junk, and now to make things worse she is sufferring.
my Father is having back trouble and might need surgery, my Mothers dog was diagnosed with breast cancer a few months ago and she may now die as well.
i could go on here, but im not going to.
i know life sucks sometimes, but this is just overwhelming. i know that if lose my Mother i might as well jump off a bridge, i really would not want to continue on with life, after all the things ive lost and then with all this going on. i wouldnt find much cause to go on. and at this point its really not looking positive at all for her. even if they do get all the cancer with a 3rd surgery i really fear the damage this may do to her body.
ive really had enough, just with everything. i know there are those out there who know what i mean. i cant even really put into words any more how much all of this sucks.
my faith in Christ is just not there much anymore. even tho he is in my heart my desire to lean on him has really been lost through all this.
i dont even know why i write this, cause i dont know if God cares enough or is willing anyways to help.
life really sucks sometimes.
i pray the Jesus will provide a miracle for my Mother, without her my life is not worth going on.
sorry for this post being so sad, but thats all i really know anymore, is just sadness and sorrow. im tired of life for the most part. i can take alot of junk, but when i start seeing my family suffer greatly, its just too much.
pls pray that God will heal my Mother. and thank you for reading.
