Is it God challenging me, or the enemy waging war? Please help

First I'll start off with, I am married for 4 years now. For about 2.5 to 3 years my wife and I have been struggling. About 6 months ago my wife stated that she was no longer in love with me and that she wanted to be separated. (I found out later that this is due to a new "guy friend" that has entered her life however I have not investigated far enough to bring forth any solid evidence of infidelity.)

Originally I was against the separation, I fought, begged, pleaded, and consistently pushed forth an effort to try and win my wife's heart again. (Which I had been doing for the recent years as well) but it reaped no success. As the separation was going on I had been praying to God for restoration, clarity, a vision of his plan so that I can work with Him. At this point my wife and I are still "separated" (We still live in the same home, weird situation).

Throughout our separation God granted me a lot of clarity, I saw what my wife really was; mentally abusive, cold, closed minded, and an overall leech to the marriage. She is definitely not the rough around the edges, sweet Christian woman i fell in love with and married. Now that we've been separated I've grown cold to her myself and I truly do not want to be married to this woman any longer and that is a very stern feeling in my heart.

In addition to my marriage falling apart, I've grown feelings for a co-worker. Originally my relationship with her was strictly professional and friendly nothing malicious. However we seem to hit it off very well and she is everything I can see myself being happy with. So..I began to pray for this woman's attention, since then she has been distant and very closed off. I've been consistent in what I ask, but after a bit of research I have learned to ask God for what he wants and follow His will.

So far in my journey of prayer, I've received what seems like nothing but silence, at this point I'm not sure what I should be praying for. I know that I do not want to be married to my wife anymore and once we are back in the U.S. we will be filing for divorce (we currently live overseas). And I don't know if God is shutting the other woman out to protect me or if he's challenging me to continue to pray.

Above all other things, even if things don't work out with either woman. I have been seeking God more than anyone and make that very clear in my prayer. I've looked to scripture, I've read Christian books, Listened and praised through song, attended church with an open heart in seeking for Him. I speak to Him every chance I get and I confess my faith in Him...However even now I still do not receive any sort of response. I've only received harsh financial times (which has never been a thin in my adult life), and even severe depression (also not a typical problem in my adult life).

Is this God testing my resolve? Or is this the enemy waging war against my soul? Is there something different I should be praying for, or how i should pray for it? Please any help with deciphering this silence in such hard times would be much appreciated and I thank you for taking the time to read all of this. God Bless.

Thank you all for your comments, no hard feelings taken. I'm taking all of your advice. I have stopped working toward my co-worker and working toward God. Thank you again

Now that we've been separated I've grown cold to her myself and I truly do not want to be married to this woman any longer and that is a very stern feeling in my heart.

So to keep you all updated, since starting this thread. I've actually taken all of your advice, I let go of things with the co-worker, I had even let go of my bitterness toward my wife and tried to move forward. I've prayed to God every night and have been fairly consistent.

I pray for many things but the 3 hot topics have been, 1. To be closer to Him, 2. For some sort of Clarity in his plan so that I can carry it out, 3. To help me with my transition back to a normal life. (im currently moving back to the states from overseas).

What im about to say next isn't trying to discourage anyone, I am simply asking for help trying to understand what's going on. But since I've been praying for these things it has kind of gone opposite in all 3 directions. Things with my wife and I have become more and more stressful almost even hateful...There was a brief window before i left to the states that we got along and nicely..But it was actually exhausting to maintain I held my tongue in many occasions where i shouldn't have to simply not break this streak of no conflict..Now that I left, she's back to being very mean, and im very certain she's with someone else in my absence.

2nd My prayers to be "closer to Him" has left me with a lot anxiety...Now I pray more to God than I used to before my wife and I had these problems. So in a sense I've gotten closer to Him, however, the more I read scripture, go-to church, pray and seek, It's responded with more silence. I know I need to have more faith but it has become wearing and exhausting. Lately i've been praying more for Him to strengthen my resolve and to give me some clarity or a sign anything to give me a focus so that I have a reason to hold on. and

Third my prayer for transition back to normal life..I've encountered just about every obstacle I've been praying to not be encountered with.

Please if anyone can help bring me some understanding to this it would be much appreciated. I wont say I live a sinless life..that'd be absurd, I'm no pastor, but I certainly don't consider myself a "luke warm" Christian. I've spoken with my pastor, and I've been racking my brain around scripture trying to find an answer..and I'm hitting a breaking point. I've had faith that He'd come in by now but as the pain, and challenges stack higher that resolve is quickly weakening. I know It hasn't been a long time, and I should be more patient however after everything i've endured within the last few months has withered me both mentally and spiritually. Im not looking for God to swoop all of problems away overnight..But simply a response or something for me to work toward. Really what im asking from all of you is help trying to decipher what His, plan or intention might be in my life so that I can actually push forward with it rather than continue to sink.

Thank you all again for your help and your comments it's much appreciated. God Bless

First off continue to pray, pray and pray some more. No one knows his plan. Sometimes he just wants us to have faith. I understand that is so much easier to say than to actually do. I am also struggling with alot of different areas in my life and I am learning to have faith that it is all in God's hands and plan. I do not understand and it is hard to be patient when things are so overwhelming. I try to look up scriptures for times of trial. I will continue you praying for you. I pray that you continue your relationship with God, that you grow closer to him every day. I pray that your days get easier as you faith grows. In Jesus name I pray ❤ "the lord is good for those who wait "confidently" for him. To those that seek him (on the authority of God's word) It is good that one waits for the salvation of the lord. Lamentations 3:25

What was it about your wife that you decided to marry her in the first place. It is not appropriate to pray that this other woman pays attention to you, especially while you are still married. It seems to me that you are not really sure what you want and desire in a wife. At this point in your life I don't see how this other woman is going to make you happy. I would simply pray that God's will be done in your life.