Prayer for Relationship!

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Starlight7

Guest
#1
So, to make this as short as possible, I met a girl back in October and everything went great for three months! Almost too perfect in fact, it really scared me how much I liked this girl and how well we clicked on every level! She has everything I've ever wanted or prayed for in a future wife, down to the smallest details. From physical looks, life goals, what kind of family life she wants, her values, the type of ministry she wants to be involved with, etc. She has it all. Things I never thought I would find wrapped up in one person. She says the same thing about me as well. Even from our first date, it wasn't just the usual feeling of "oh this girls pretty hot and she's cool so I think she'd be a fun girlfriend to have". No, I had this overwhelming feeling that whole night and every other one after that like I was walking with my future wife!! We had lots of God talks together and kept him at the center of our friendship and we kept things pure and agreed not too go any further than kissing. We "talked" for three months and both decided we were ready to become an official couple! I made a reservation at a fancy restaurant at a nice resort and was gonna make it official after dinner. We got all dressed up and we're about to leave when she started crying and said we needed to talk... she started crying more and more and was breathing very heavy and said she had never been in this deep with someone before and it was making her really anxious and said she wanted to slow things down. While that probably wasn't the end of the world, it sure felt like it at the time. I was completely blind sided and completely crushed. We still talk, and we still see each other. But it's strictly as friends right now and she says she doesn't know if her feelings will ever change and come back around and she doesn't want me to hope for that...
Now to preface a little bit. She's 21, and I'm 25. She has a year left of college, and I'm not in school. She's only ever had one boyfriend and it only lasted two months, and was her freshmen year of college. I've only been in one relationship, but mine lasted two years and also ended about two years ago. In that relationship I prayed to God about whether He wanted me to be with her or not and for the first couple of weeks leading to our relationship, and for the first five months of it God kept speaking to me to get out and that she wasn't for me. I thought I was going crazy and imagining things and tried to ignore the signs he was giving me and I ended up dragging out a relationship that became toxic when I should have listened to God in the first place. But here's the thing, with this girl it was the exact OPPOSITE! I prayed consistently for three months since the day I started talking to her and felt like I got nothing but good signs and green lights from the Lord about pursuing her! I'd never been more confident that something was a "God thing" before, so when she blacked out at the last second it was all the more shocking to me. It's been a month since we stopped "dating" and became strictly freinds, and Ive been fasting and praying consistently since then and still don't feel like God has told me to give her up just yet. I still feel like I keep getting little winks and nudges from Him to be patient and wait on him to work things out in her heart. So here's what I've been praying for and would like prayer for. Ive been praying for a clear undeniable sign for the Lord, something that I couldn't possibly confuse as something I imagined myself, to know if He really does want me to stick it out, if I was right about everything I thought I'd heard from Him, if she really could be the woman He has for me, and to lean on him and keep praying he will work on her heart and bring her back around, or if I should move on?

Any advice, prayers, testimonies and feedback would be greatly appreciated!! I've spoken to many members of my family and church family about this, but I will take all the prayers and advice I can get because I can truly say this is the most difficult thing I've ever gone through. She is absolutely 110% the woman of my dreams and worth the wait. And if she's really just afraid and not ready, or it isn't Gods timing yet, I can wait it out. But if she's not who He has for me I want clear direction either way so I'm not wasting time energy and hope on someone that's not part of His ultimate plan for my life.

Thank you!!!
 

Tinkerbell725

Senior Member
Jul 19, 2014
4,216
1,179
113
Philippines Age 40
#2
It's a normal feeling when you are in love. You feel like your heart is on a rush. But don't be too excited because love is patient. You are both still young and commitment is scary and needs a lot of preparation. There is time for everything. If you let your heart be at peace since you made up your mind that she is the one for you, then waiting time is not wasted time and if she decides that you are the one for her, then it is all worth the wait. God bless.
 
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Ariel82

Guest
#3
If you truly believe she is the one and love her, I would advise you to be patient and show her you still love her.

However are you sure you haven't put her on a pedestool that she is afraid to topple off of?

Are you prepared to love her even when you find out the annoying bad habits she might have?

Even without makeup and primping?

I had a relationship that I had to end because the guy wasn't in love with me, just the image/idol he created in his mind of who he thoughts was.
 
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iveseenworse

Guest
#4
i pray God meets your needs and desires. i pray he is blessed and honored through what happens next. i pray wisdom for you.
 

Violet24

Senior Member
Apr 14, 2015
1,074
148
63
#5
Starlight7, 1 Corinthians 14:33 [SUP] [/SUP]For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace. All the prayers and advice posted for your situation does bring some great guidance. I just want to add a few tidbits of wisdom for you. Sometimes as Christians we can grab ahold of a dream so tightly, that it inevitable will cause stress, worry and turmoil within our spirit. Jesus will bring you the desires of your heart as you wait upon him. Psalms 37:4 Delight yourself in the Lord and He will bring you the desires of your heart. If your are finding yourself being completely consumed and preoccupied with this woman of your dreams who you are waiting for, then most likely your not allowing yourself to walk in peace with the Lord. I just want to encourage you to rest and wait upon the Lord to bring you the woman of your dreams. I don't want to bring discouragement to you, but its possible she may not be the one the Lord has for you, or she may be? only God knows. Years ago, I was in a similar situation like yours & the Lord spoke this scripture into my heart. Psalms 127:1 Unless the LORD builds the house, They labor in vain who build it; Unless the LORD guards the city, The watchman keeps awake in vain. 2It is vain for you to rise up early, To retire late, To eat the bread of painful labors; For He gives to His beloved even in his sleep.…
 

Didymus

Senior Member
Jan 11, 2017
128
6
0
#6
If she is not 100% ready to marry, give her the space she needs. And as others have said, if she is God's will for you, He will make it clear to you. I'm glad she was honest enough with you to say that she wanted to slow down- if she hadn't been honest with you she could have entered into holy matrimony with unresolved issues. Give her some time and some space. Meditate on the verses Violet posted. Wait on the Lord. I'm going to pray with you that this time of uncertainty and despair will draw you closer to Jesus. And if you find yourself miserable and lonely, go out and do something for the Lord- you may be surprised at how quickly you can change something which is seemingly tragic into something wonderful for someone else.
 

levi85

Senior Member
Jul 2, 2013
8,578
2,180
113
#8
Father God, we pray for Starlight7, please give a clear understanding on this matter, and guide him forward, bless him, and the girl, to know your will, and bless them, Lord speak to their hearts, and help them, to decide, things according to your will, Lord please bless them both, and you be glorified, Lord bless Starlight7, in Jesus loving name, Amen!
 
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Starlight7

Guest
#9
Thanks for the feedback. Both positive and negative. I appreciate you taking the time to write anything! No change yet, and I don't see things changing on her side for a while... maybe even until she finishes school? Which is a whole year away still. I'm supposed to visit her this weekend, and if it actually happens it will be the first time we've seen each other in a month. Things have been really quiet between us this past week so I'm pretty nervous about it. Hoping to get some sort of confirmation if we do end up spending some time together.