Prayer for emotional health

Hey guys. This is gonna be a long post so feel free to skip to the end if need be. XD

As everyone for sure by now knows, my dad has recently developed stomach cancer. With that comes a lot of emotions all toppled on each other, and the annoyance of possible emotional unhealthiness that can come with it. There is basically trying to be more positive, but under everything being really worried and raw underneath. The hard thing is that you can think you're fine, then all the sudden kinda lose it.

Sadly I had one of those moments today. Dad is the person who usually took care of everything in the house as far as cleaning, general maintenance, ect. He is always very proactive. My mother and inherently also myself, are not. This frustrates my dad to no end, and fills him with what he's referred to as a sort of despair that things won't get done with us.

Fast forward to today: I did my usual thing of lollygagging, partly because I have a horrible cold and am trying to trick myself into drinking a ton of water by sitting at the computer with a glass, and perpetually drinking out of it. Of course that meant I wasn't doing chores I could be doing, and dad got very frustrated. He didn't throw any kind of harsh words or anything, but he did say "You said you were going to be proactive, and you're not."

This set me off into a silent crying spell for a few hours while hiding under a surgical mask. (We've been wearing those while around him since we've been sick, both my mother, sister, and I have all gotten it.) Sadly it wasn't the fact I had to do things although it may have been at first. I tend to tie everything to my self worth, and dad tends to be the sort of person where if he knows himself to be in the right, he most likely won't comfort the person whom he's spoken to even if they're visually upset. I know I was in the wrong. But I still cried. I'm still crying a little bit.

It brought up a huge amount of things like how I should be ashamed of myself for making him take care of us when we should be taking care of him, that he shouldn't have to worry about these things, and that opened up the whole can of other fears and worries and emotional issues that I didn't realize I was having.

I guess the final thing is: please pray I keep a brave face for dad, and am emotionally healthy, even if it's not what makes me feel the best at the moment.

To wear a brave face you must be brave deep inside and have the courage and conviction to face the trials and tribulations that will certainly come in your life.

I will say a prayer for God to give you clarity of thought, strength and stamina, and the willingness to do the work that the Father has prepared for you to do.

In the bible it says that you must count the cost of the task that you are meant to accomplish and must accept this cost willingly and without reservation.

Even in our worst of times God will draw out the very best from deep inside of us. He will neither leave you nor forsake you and the good work that He starts in you He is certainly able to complete.

You can do this. I believe in you and so does God.

"Fear not" says the Lord.

He is frustrated and finding it hard to adjust because he is restricted in what he would
normally be doing i.e. taking care of everything for his family.

You are sad because your dad has cancer and still adjusting to the role changes. You have
relied on your dad a lot, now he is relying on all of you. It takes time to grow into and learn
new roles.

Think about when you got a new job, it takes time to learn what is expected and how to
handle the new responsibility. It's the same with taking on a different family responsibility.
It doesn't come easily and it's harder because of the emotional ties.

Dont be so hard on yourself and don't take your dad's outbursts personally, he is just as
worried about you all and how you will all cope, as you are about him. Plus of you have a
cold that will mean you are not functioning 100%.

Maybe if you have to do something you haven't done before, you could ask your dad for
advice, how he handles it. Did he struggle a bit etc. It will help him to feel useful and open
up those doors of communication. Tell him how sad you feel and that you would appreciate
his patience and advice.

Your dad is still learning as well, that everyone does things different. He can't expect
people around him to do things exactly the same way as he does.

I know the circumstances are different but as my aunt got older and became less and less able
to do things, I have taken take other everything, running the house, dealing
with all of her medical issues, sorting out both of our finances, and much much more.
Plus going to work. It was very hard on her and she was fiercely independent.

We both had a big learning curve to go through, my aunt wanted everything doing in exactly
the way she did it and in her timing. I couldn't do that, I had my job and other
responsibilities to fit in. Plus some of the ways she did things was very long winded and
I knew I could do them in half the time by doing things differently.

As an example it took my aunt hours to work out her budget for the week on paper and
double checking everything, partly this was due to her age and partly because she is not very
good at paperwork. Whereas it took me 10 minutes on my computer. She use to get very mad
with me because she did not understand my way of sorting the weekly budget and wanted me
to do it her way. But I had to explain that I just did not have the time to do it her way.

Often she gets an idea into her head and wants me to act on it immediately. Whereas I have
to remind her it will have to wait until my next day off, or next week as I already have a full
schedule for this week.

There was lots of tantrums and frustration for both of us before things settled down.

You all need to factor in work time, play time and rest time into your week.
Your dad will need to learn that things will get done but in a different way.
Just remember to keep those doors of communication open.
Another thing stress and worry can be emotionally and physical draining.
There has been many times when I've looked around the house and seen lots that needs
to be done but I just could not get my chin off the floor to do it.
Dont be afraid to explain all this and chat to your dad about this.

Lord I pray for Steph and her dad and family.
Help them through this time, give them wisdom as they learn how to work
together. Lord I pray they will grow closer as a family and closer in their
walk with you.

For dad I pray you will calm his fears, that he will see nothing is impossible
in you. Teach him trust and patience and bring healing to his body and mind.

x

Thank you, everyone. Also, God knows what we need when we needed. I broke up a little bit in front of him and apologized for making him worry about stuff getting done, and he broke up a little bit saying he was sorry for being so hard on me about this.

You are right. We need to both have prayer for our emotions I guess, he's having a hard time with this far more than I could ever imagine.

oh sweety you and i both are going through very hard times i haven't been able to be on cc as much as i used to and my phone is dead and i can't find the charger or else i would call you and you know why skype isn't option but i wish i was there as i am always willing to clean like if i could pay rent for your parents letting me stay there i would because if there is one thing i am good at it's cleaning

Aww babe

Lord, please heal Artsiesteph emotionally, and bless. yes Lord please bless this prayer, in Jesus precious name, Amen!.

Things are getting better, your posts really help with my perspective

I am not saying this is how you all have been, but my grandmother was very dependent on my grandfather.
After his death, she mourned, but she found strength and continues to find strength in the Lord.
More than that, she has since opened her home to strangers of all walks of life, leading them to the Lord and
sharing the gospel-- not as a teacher, but as one who wants to share what God has shared to her.
Regardless, my point is this, you and your mom-- if you lean on God, you will endure.

The verse I am motivated by today is 1 Peter 1:6-7.
Read it and remember, God will help you when you are tempted to doubt.
Christ is with you

Even when you cannot stand, He can Carry.

Philippians 4:13

Praying for u - GIVE THE GLORY TO GOD