Well update guys. After the weekend spent with my best friend - I opened up to her in that time about the reality of the situation. She gave me courage and wisdom and strength - that I should draw a line. Give ultimatum for when I would end it if he didn't get help. I did. At first he resisted, said I was one who needed help, then by the next day or so he was emailing/texting nicer things. Asked 2 things I wanted to see change. This frustrated me - as I clearly said "get help" and show initiative in marriage. Currently it is like he thinks his cordial behavior is enough to get by on. But too many times I've seen him be cordial, sometimes loving, only to turn on me in a moment - his moments affect me and out daughter for a lifetime.
So. I'm currently awaiting to see what kinds of choices he makes over the next month.
You guys' advice and concern gave me ability to talk to my friend. Sometimes it's hardest to talk to those closest to us. She said I was giving him too much slack because of his past, that there was no excuse for his behavior.
