With tearful eyes
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You want God to kill you? Seriously? :/ I suggest you go to the Testimonies forum and read any testimony in there, of how God helped those people get through their hard times. I have been raped, gone through cancer, have life-long depression, suicidal thoughts from time to time, AND am currently going through my 2nd agonizing bout with sciatica, and guess what? God got me through it all. 
If I can do it, if the others here can do it, YOU can do it. Now stop bemoaning your situation and start thanking God for the life you have, and the chance for Him to make you stronger in whatever affliction you're facing right now.
Philippians 4:13 and Luke 1:37. READ THEM.
If I can do it, if the others here can do it, YOU can do it. Now stop bemoaning your situation and start thanking God for the life you have, and the chance for Him to make you stronger in whatever affliction you're facing right now.
Philippians 4:13 and Luke 1:37. READ THEM.
D
It's actually a good spot to be in. (Not comfortable at all, but a good spot, nonetheless.) When we know we are completely depleted, and really, really can't, then we know there is only one who can -- the Lord. The one you just cried out to. He can. He will. He will take you through this with his strength.
He only teaches us two things in life:
1. He loves us.
2. Trust him.
Count on the first one, and know he is teaching you the second right now. He is trustworthy.
Psalm 23
He only teaches us two things in life:
1. He loves us.
2. Trust him.
Count on the first one, and know he is teaching you the second right now. He is trustworthy.
Psalm 23
I fully understand what you are going through. I won't go into my circumstances but after 15 years of waking up every day between 2 a.m and 4 a.m with fear/anxiety/guilt. I got to the stage where I prayed "God just take my life, at least I know where I am going.
I was married with 4 kids (still am) but I prayed God take my life, I know you will take care of my family.
I prayed "God I've had enough, I feel like I am living in hell here on earth, I need you so much please help me or kill me"
One morning when I woke up, I thought 'Well I've woken up today, that case there must be a reason'
What hit me one day when I was laid up with a bad back God asked me to spend time with him, after a few times of saying no I came before him.
He said to me "Ok Bill let us deal with this situation" I replied "No I won't and I can't"
This conversation went on 3 times.
On the 4th occasion God said and it was as loud as this "BILL WHAT PART OF LET US DEAL WITH THIS SITUATION, ITS YOU AND ME, YOU CANT DEAL WITH IT THATS WHY YOU NEED ME AND THATS WHY I WILL BE WITH YOU, TRUST ME AND WALK WITH ME, NOW DO YOU GET IT?
I sure did. For the last 5 years I have not woken up at the time I used to, I've not asked God to kill me and not considered suicide.
What is the point I am trying to make?
If you wake up tomorrow there is a reason. Only God gives life and takes life.
Its only when you are on your knees and you say "God I need you so much"
That is different from asking God and expecting him to take every hardship you suffer with away.
We need God because he is God, our Father and not a quick fix.
He never promised to be a quick fix.
He promised to work good in the things of our life in order to conform us to the image of Christ.
You are in this situation for some reason, I have no idea why but your in it.
For whatever reason you are in it I can't surmise or judge.
Generally when we find ourselves in this place it tends to due to sin.
Sin is not just what we do but also what we don't do, the biggest being not forgiving others who have hurt us.
God loves me as much as he loves Jesus, even though I don't get or feel it I need to accept it.
You need to come to the place where you know that God loves you as much as he loves Jesus and accept it.
Thank him that he hasn't taken your life and therefore there is a reason, that reason is because he has a plan for you.
Be honest and ask him "Why am I in this situation, search my heart and reveal to me why"
When he does acknowledge it, and know that he will walk with YOU in it to deal with it. That's how we learn.
If he just fixed it with a click of his fingers we would learn absolutely nothing and would be of no use to help others.
How could we have compassion for others if we haven't suffered ourselves and allowed God to walk with us in the healing process?
Remember God is for you and not against you.
I was married with 4 kids (still am) but I prayed God take my life, I know you will take care of my family.
I prayed "God I've had enough, I feel like I am living in hell here on earth, I need you so much please help me or kill me"
One morning when I woke up, I thought 'Well I've woken up today, that case there must be a reason'
What hit me one day when I was laid up with a bad back God asked me to spend time with him, after a few times of saying no I came before him.
He said to me "Ok Bill let us deal with this situation" I replied "No I won't and I can't"
This conversation went on 3 times.
On the 4th occasion God said and it was as loud as this "BILL WHAT PART OF LET US DEAL WITH THIS SITUATION, ITS YOU AND ME, YOU CANT DEAL WITH IT THATS WHY YOU NEED ME AND THATS WHY I WILL BE WITH YOU, TRUST ME AND WALK WITH ME, NOW DO YOU GET IT?
I sure did. For the last 5 years I have not woken up at the time I used to, I've not asked God to kill me and not considered suicide.
What is the point I am trying to make?
If you wake up tomorrow there is a reason. Only God gives life and takes life.
Its only when you are on your knees and you say "God I need you so much"
That is different from asking God and expecting him to take every hardship you suffer with away.
We need God because he is God, our Father and not a quick fix.
He never promised to be a quick fix.
He promised to work good in the things of our life in order to conform us to the image of Christ.
You are in this situation for some reason, I have no idea why but your in it.
For whatever reason you are in it I can't surmise or judge.
Generally when we find ourselves in this place it tends to due to sin.
Sin is not just what we do but also what we don't do, the biggest being not forgiving others who have hurt us.
God loves me as much as he loves Jesus, even though I don't get or feel it I need to accept it.
You need to come to the place where you know that God loves you as much as he loves Jesus and accept it.
Thank him that he hasn't taken your life and therefore there is a reason, that reason is because he has a plan for you.
Be honest and ask him "Why am I in this situation, search my heart and reveal to me why"
When he does acknowledge it, and know that he will walk with YOU in it to deal with it. That's how we learn.
If he just fixed it with a click of his fingers we would learn absolutely nothing and would be of no use to help others.
How could we have compassion for others if we haven't suffered ourselves and allowed God to walk with us in the healing process?
Remember God is for you and not against you.
Whatever you are going through, don't give up. I hope that whatever it is Jesus Christ will help you overcome the issue. God loves you and he has a purpose for you out there. You still have many wonderful things to accomplish. God loves you and I love you! I'll be praying for you, sister. May God fill you with hope, love, and patience.
D
When hubby was young (before we met, so wasn't hubby yet), he was standing at the top of a ladder in a candle factory working on their heater. 20 feet below him was a bunch of wooden crates with candles in them.
Candle factory, therefore the entire floor was slippery with wax. 20-foot high ladder. The thing anyone would fear the most happened -- the ladder slipped. He fell. It doesn't take that long to fall 20-feet, and yet during that fall, God told him, "I'm doing this so you can learn that I love you."
There's a long story after that, but landing on his right side tore his shoulder up, dislocated his ribs, and messed up his knee enough that, (along with any one of those places can re-dislocate at any given moment ever since), he was flat on his back for the next six weeks unable to do anything but read the Bible, pray, and nag his then-wife. (And then his then-wife said something that made him stop nagging her for the rest of the six weeks. lol)
Any time I hear someone gets laid up over a health problem now, my knee-jerk reaction is to think, "Ut-oh. God's teaching the person that he loves him/her."
Thank you for confirming my suspicion in your testimony.
Candle factory, therefore the entire floor was slippery with wax. 20-foot high ladder. The thing anyone would fear the most happened -- the ladder slipped. He fell. It doesn't take that long to fall 20-feet, and yet during that fall, God told him, "I'm doing this so you can learn that I love you."
There's a long story after that, but landing on his right side tore his shoulder up, dislocated his ribs, and messed up his knee enough that, (along with any one of those places can re-dislocate at any given moment ever since), he was flat on his back for the next six weeks unable to do anything but read the Bible, pray, and nag his then-wife. (And then his then-wife said something that made him stop nagging her for the rest of the six weeks. lol)
Any time I hear someone gets laid up over a health problem now, my knee-jerk reaction is to think, "Ut-oh. God's teaching the person that he loves him/her."
Thank you for confirming my suspicion in your testimony.
R
I will pray that God will help you. I've been where you are, not wanting to go on. On and off for years. But hold in and, as you wait on the Lord to take it away or at least alleviate some of the pain, find reasons to live. Even if you need to force yourself to think of things. God will eventually come through. I can't promise it will be quick, although I certainly hope it is. But He will rescue you from whatever situation you're in.
In the mean time, do you want to share more? We might be able to give you better advice if we knew more about your situation.
In the mean time, do you want to share more? We might be able to give you better advice if we knew more about your situation.
S
Maybe folks have never felt this way. Maybe they have and don't want to admit it. Father does not kill His children when they request it, I know that. Instead, you'll need to learn what it is that's on the learning table that He's put there. Not to torment you, but to level you up. Count it as joy, go to the throne of grace. That's where you will find "it".
Boy! Haven't most of us, at one time or another, asked God just why in the world he doesn't simply go ahead and take us home? I have even challenged Him with "What the ____ is wrong with you that you don't just end my life?!?!?!?"
And, usually within a day or two, I come face-to-face with a very necessary reason for me to still be breathing..... IF I am willing to see it and submit to it. (For me, it usually involves animals, children, or what the world dismisses as "drop shots" that other people just aren't seeing.)
And, usually within a day or two, I come face-to-face with a very necessary reason for me to still be breathing..... IF I am willing to see it and submit to it. (For me, it usually involves animals, children, or what the world dismisses as "drop shots" that other people just aren't seeing.)