No one understands me, I don't know what i do? I can't face this situation, please Lord help me , or please kill me but please do any thing for me Lord i can't Lord i can't
I fully understand what you are going through. I won't go into my circumstances but after 15 years of waking up every day between 2 a.m and 4 a.m with fear/anxiety/guilt. I got to the stage where I prayed "God just take my life, at least I know where I am going.
I was married with 4 kids (still am) but I prayed God take my life, I know you will take care of my family.
I prayed "God I've had enough, I feel like I am living in hell here on earth, I need you so much please help me or kill me"
One morning when I woke up, I thought 'Well I've woken up today, that case there must be a reason'
What hit me one day when I was laid up with a bad back God asked me to spend time with him, after a few times of saying no I came before him.
He said to me "Ok Bill let us deal with this situation" I replied "No I won't and I can't"
This conversation went on 3 times.
On the 4th occasion God said and it was as loud as this "BILL WHAT PART OF LET US DEAL WITH THIS SITUATION, ITS YOU AND ME, YOU CANT DEAL WITH IT THATS WHY YOU NEED ME AND THATS WHY I WILL BE WITH YOU, TRUST ME AND WALK WITH ME, NOW DO YOU GET IT?
I sure did. For the last 5 years I have not woken up at the time I used to, I've not asked God to kill me and not considered suicide.
What is the point I am trying to make?
If you wake up tomorrow there is a reason. Only God gives life and takes life.
Its only when you are on your knees and you say "God I need you so much"
That is different from asking God and expecting him to take every hardship you suffer with away.
We need God because he is God, our Father and not a quick fix.
He never promised to be a quick fix.
He promised to work good in the things of our life in order to conform us to the image of Christ.
You are in this situation for some reason, I have no idea why but your in it.
For whatever reason you are in it I can't surmise or judge.
Generally when we find ourselves in this place it tends to due to sin.
Sin is not just what we do but also what we don't do, the biggest being not forgiving others who have hurt us.
God loves me as much as he loves Jesus, even though I don't get or feel it I need to accept it.
You need to come to the place where you know that God loves you as much as he loves Jesus and accept it.
Thank him that he hasn't taken your life and therefore there is a reason, that reason is because he has a plan for you.
Be honest and ask him "Why am I in this situation, search my heart and reveal to me why"
When he does acknowledge it, and know that he will walk with YOU in it to deal with it. That's how we learn.
If he just fixed it with a click of his fingers we would learn absolutely nothing and would be of no use to help others.
How could we have compassion for others if we haven't suffered ourselves and allowed God to walk with us in the healing process?
Remember God is for you and not against you.